(no subject)
honestly, i thought i was over him. but no one can bring me down like he does.
The thing about you is, you're fun.
You make me laugh. You make me feel more alive.
And, okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes.
But there are these moments in my mind, crystal-clear images of you and me and how we fit together,
and it all makes such perfect sense and I know what i want...
I want time with you.
i'm sick of talking about it, yet it's all i can talk about.
i'm sick of letting him get to me, yet he does it so well.
i'm sick of not letting people in, but it's his fault that i don't.
i'm sick of how hot and cold he it.
it makes me sick to my stomach to see him with other girls.
it has been over a year. he still has this spell over me.
he will go months without talking to me pretty much at all.
then he will, 2 years later, do the same thing he did in annapolis.
libby, then jocelyn. i mean he might as well have hooked up with them
right in front of my face. it would have hurt just as much.
he asked her for her number.
i was standing right there.
i felt like i couldn't breathe.
i tried to go up the stairs and they were locked.
i found out they were all over each other on the bus.
i was going to be sick.
but then
he touched me. he touches my neck, my hand, my leg.
i forget everything. i just want him to touch me and nothing else.
everything else spirals away and it's just him and i and he's touching me.
but then i snap back to reality.
he's making a joke about me, to get some laughs from the guys.
he's talking about the necklace some girl bought him.
he's got a girlfriend in italy.
he is not the person i am in love with.
where is the person i am in love with? i couldn't be in love with someone that doesn't exist.
i know he is in there somewhere. and that's why i still have hope.
he comes out in those moments, where he grabs my hand, or touches my leg.
he's there and i know he feels it.
just for him, it's brief moments.
for me, it's an all the time kind of longing.
The thing about you is, you're fun.
You make me laugh. You make me feel more alive.
And, okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes.
But there are these moments in my mind, crystal-clear images of you and me and how we fit together,
and it all makes such perfect sense and I know what i want...
I want time with you.
i'm sick of talking about it, yet it's all i can talk about.
i'm sick of letting him get to me, yet he does it so well.
i'm sick of not letting people in, but it's his fault that i don't.
i'm sick of how hot and cold he it.
it makes me sick to my stomach to see him with other girls.
it has been over a year. he still has this spell over me.
he will go months without talking to me pretty much at all.
then he will, 2 years later, do the same thing he did in annapolis.
libby, then jocelyn. i mean he might as well have hooked up with them
right in front of my face. it would have hurt just as much.
he asked her for her number.
i was standing right there.
i felt like i couldn't breathe.
i tried to go up the stairs and they were locked.
i found out they were all over each other on the bus.
i was going to be sick.
but then
he touched me. he touches my neck, my hand, my leg.
i forget everything. i just want him to touch me and nothing else.
everything else spirals away and it's just him and i and he's touching me.
but then i snap back to reality.
he's making a joke about me, to get some laughs from the guys.
he's talking about the necklace some girl bought him.
he's got a girlfriend in italy.
he is not the person i am in love with.
where is the person i am in love with? i couldn't be in love with someone that doesn't exist.
i know he is in there somewhere. and that's why i still have hope.
he comes out in those moments, where he grabs my hand, or touches my leg.
he's there and i know he feels it.
just for him, it's brief moments.
for me, it's an all the time kind of longing.