[004] "A Sole Desire"

[nagasasu]

Title: A Sole Desire
Game: FE8
Word Count: 895
Pairings/Characters: Natasha
Warnings: What could be considered graphic images of burns, taken from the descriptions of the hibakusha immediately after the fall of the atomic bomb. (And of course, some shoddy hot-off-the-press writing to meet the deadline)  Also, this is post-game, so read for spoilers at

Comments

[sarajayechan]

WOW. The descriptions of the wounds and the burns made me wince, but you did a good job with 'em. Poor Natasha. T_T

[nagasasu]

Thank you. All credit for the descriptions really goes to the hibakusha.

[penandpaper71]

This is really good. The descriptions are so vivid and I like the way that you captured Natasha.

[nagasasu]

Thank you! I'm glad reading all of Natasha's supports amounted to something!

[xirysa]

So when someone's descriptions of pain and wounds and whatnot can make me, the self-proclaimed queen of apathy and I-never-get-squeamish, squirm, then commendations are in order.

So yes. Very nice work, especially how all the details made the descriptions so much more vivid. Great job!

[nagasasu]

Thank you for reviewing! Credit for those descriptions goes directly to the hibakusha for writing their poignant experiences.

[myaru]

It may be hot off the press, but you did a great job - you tied it up well, and the tension of the piece gathers like a wave and breaks at the end. Your last paragraph hits hard. You also characterized Natasha as something other than weak or sweet, which I really appreciate; her numbness and the eventual tempering of her strength really work.

[nagasasu]

Thank you very much. :) I actually haven't read much fic on Natasha (heck, I have a hard time finding them), and I do have problems writing weak characters - I like kick-ass heroines waaay too much, haha - so thank you again.

[wolfraven80]

I hope you'll forgive me a moment for being picky:

the mother who doesn’t yet [...] understand their child is dead. -> her child

Knoll [...] puts their hand on her shoulder and asks, -> his hand

Gotta watch out for errors of agreement like that in those sorts of long sentences -- they can be sneaky like that.

As to the story itself, it's a really interesting piece. In fact, I think it's the first time I've read anything that takes place in post-war Grado -- not to mention a strong portrayal of Natasha, who doesn't get written about all that often. The aftermath of the earthquake is fascinating to read about and it's something most of us sort of ignore or touch on only vaguely when we're writing FE8 fics. I especially love the last paragraph. It rounds off the piece perfectly and that last line-- it's just great!

[nagasasu]

No worried about being picky. As for the Knoll typo, I thought about it but ultimately decided on "their" because at the moment, Natasha doesn't realize it's Knoll.

And ooooh, I've never really thought about it, but you're right, not much post-war Grado or much on Natasha. I should go look for some now.

Thank you for commenting! :)