Tigger's vet diagnosis -
(Photo of Tigger on K's lap/top. 2005)
She ate a little and drank a little and didn't barf last night. We monitored her closely. Got her into a vet appointment first thing this morning. They kept her for tests, including ultrasound.
Her temperature n pulse are fine, her kidney count is high normal, she's anemic a bit, but they felt a lump in her abdomen. Ultrasounds shows very enlarged lymph nodes around her stomach or bowels. (I can't exactly recall the phone call). Currently they're looking at 3 different possible cause for that... from least to worst case scenario: bowel irritation with infection, small cell cancer, or mass cell cancer. If the first, they've got some good outcome treatment. (I forget the details now.). If the second there are things to make her life comfortable and might go in to remission. If the last, it's pretty grim. "Grim" was the term that the vet used.
More tests to find out.
In the mean time, she's at the vets, with my well worn and me-smelling hoodie, getting hydrated and monitored. She's on narcotics and fasting, both to relieve her discomfort. She's going to stay with them tonight. Her regular vet will be back in the morning and he'll take over her care/diagnosis.
I'm crying a lot but I feel better knowing that she's getting good care and we'll find out more clearly what's going on and what to do... which will help me to prepare better. I leave for London for a big presentation gig. I was worried that it would be something that would cause her to die while I'm away. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I want to be around to make things comfortable for her and - when the time comes, to make the best decision on euthenasia with the best possible environment and care for her. I want to spoil her silly.
oh and her medical bill... it was big. and it's not over. I really hope I can afford to pay for all this... (At the same time she was getting her tests, I was having procedure-number-I-don't-know-what at the dentist as the follow-up from my jaw surgery last year. Due to various family and creative reasons I've taken much of August off the road - which is good for some things - but as free-lance / self employed that's also means zippo dineros. But at least that means I'm around for Tigger.
I calculated her human equivalent age. At the 17 years, she's something like 85 years old.
I guess knowing that she's living a great life and has been quite healthy is comforting. But it's still really really hard. I'm glad I can touch type because I can't see the screen past my tears.
Man oh man it's going to be hard to work on my articles today and the London presentations.
For those of us who are pet parents, dealing with the ailments, aging and pending death of our loved animal companions is so deeply painful and difficult. When it comes to treatment and euthanasia, it's not like we can ask the patient for their desires. (although sometimes they will let you know in their own way.)
As omnivourous, carbon-based life forms, it would have been nice if our evolutionary process had equipped us a bit better with dealing with this... I am trying very hard to remember that this is the cycle, the wonderment that is life... that this is how us carbon based entities recycle our building blocks.
The pain of birthing, if you survive it, has built in euphoric effects to deal with it, our brains are programmed to bond with our young, our species are programmed with so many coping mechanisms for the inevitables of living on this planet and propagating... How about some for aging and dying? Perhaps the grief among the living around death and dying is part of the strategy to keep the sense of social / tribal bonding and encourage cohesion. I'm not sure. I'm babbling here.
That gray lump in the foreground is Tigger. Behind her, the black kitty is Yoshi and the sprawled big furball in the back is Kind David. This was taken within the last couple of months.
Ok I have to get back to the office and work now.
She ate a little and drank a little and didn't barf last night. We monitored her closely. Got her into a vet appointment first thing this morning. They kept her for tests, including ultrasound.
Her temperature n pulse are fine, her kidney count is high normal, she's anemic a bit, but they felt a lump in her abdomen. Ultrasounds shows very enlarged lymph nodes around her stomach or bowels. (I can't exactly recall the phone call). Currently they're looking at 3 different possible cause for that... from least to worst case scenario: bowel irritation with infection, small cell cancer, or mass cell cancer. If the first, they've got some good outcome treatment. (I forget the details now.). If the second there are things to make her life comfortable and might go in to remission. If the last, it's pretty grim. "Grim" was the term that the vet used.
More tests to find out.
In the mean time, she's at the vets, with my well worn and me-smelling hoodie, getting hydrated and monitored. She's on narcotics and fasting, both to relieve her discomfort. She's going to stay with them tonight. Her regular vet will be back in the morning and he'll take over her care/diagnosis.
I'm crying a lot but I feel better knowing that she's getting good care and we'll find out more clearly what's going on and what to do... which will help me to prepare better. I leave for London for a big presentation gig. I was worried that it would be something that would cause her to die while I'm away. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I want to be around to make things comfortable for her and - when the time comes, to make the best decision on euthenasia with the best possible environment and care for her. I want to spoil her silly.
oh and her medical bill... it was big. and it's not over. I really hope I can afford to pay for all this... (At the same time she was getting her tests, I was having procedure-number-I-don't-know-what at the dentist as the follow-up from my jaw surgery last year. Due to various family and creative reasons I've taken much of August off the road - which is good for some things - but as free-lance / self employed that's also means zippo dineros. But at least that means I'm around for Tigger.
I calculated her human equivalent age. At the 17 years, she's something like 85 years old.
I guess knowing that she's living a great life and has been quite healthy is comforting. But it's still really really hard. I'm glad I can touch type because I can't see the screen past my tears.
Man oh man it's going to be hard to work on my articles today and the London presentations.
For those of us who are pet parents, dealing with the ailments, aging and pending death of our loved animal companions is so deeply painful and difficult. When it comes to treatment and euthanasia, it's not like we can ask the patient for their desires. (although sometimes they will let you know in their own way.)
As omnivourous, carbon-based life forms, it would have been nice if our evolutionary process had equipped us a bit better with dealing with this... I am trying very hard to remember that this is the cycle, the wonderment that is life... that this is how us carbon based entities recycle our building blocks.
The pain of birthing, if you survive it, has built in euphoric effects to deal with it, our brains are programmed to bond with our young, our species are programmed with so many coping mechanisms for the inevitables of living on this planet and propagating... How about some for aging and dying? Perhaps the grief among the living around death and dying is part of the strategy to keep the sense of social / tribal bonding and encourage cohesion. I'm not sure. I'm babbling here.
That gray lump in the foreground is Tigger. Behind her, the black kitty is Yoshi and the sprawled big furball in the back is Kind David. This was taken within the last couple of months.
Ok I have to get back to the office and work now.