today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday
omg we beat brandywine today. 3-2. was not my best game, but not my worst game by any means. i lost my groove when joey came in. i hate when hes there. but i got a record number of kills for me (19!!!!!!!!) so im still happy. we really picked it up and played as a team, and im so proud of everyone. so yay mount! haha
this week has been somewhat interesting. on monday mike heath's gf/john robichaud's ex gf Sam comes running up to me w/ amanda (aka the girl i thought was w/ joey). Sams telling me how much she loves me and how im her favorite girl and im standing there like huh? then she was like "you turned down my ex, whos a total ass! i love you!" and then amanda is like "do you know my brother jeremy?" i dont, but she went on to tell me that hes in love with me and all this other stuff. i was like woah! i felt bad for james, cuz they came up and totally interrupted him, but it was interesting so its all good haha
hmm what else? ive been listening to destinys child alot again lately. i dont know why, cuz i only listen to them when im really crushing on someone. but as far as i know, im not. it makes me wonder tho. like when you like someone, and they go to your school, you know how you look forward to certain classes ending cuz you know you'll see them in the hall? ive always wondered if the guy has felt the same way, like looking to see if class is almost over so he can run into you in the halls. or if he changes up his route to class a little bit so he can maybe run into you more? cuz girls, admit it, weve all done it. i would seriously love to know what a guy is thinking, how often he thinks about you, what hes thinking when he is thinking about you, how much of what he says is bullshit, how much of what you say he actually listens to, etc. i also would love to know when you and a guy break up/stop talking, if even tho you know theres no more feelings, if he ever regrets it. like when he sees you in the hall goes like damn, she was/couldve been mine. or when he hears his friends talking about how pretty you are or whatever, if hes like im an idiot. or if hes just like whatever, because he felt inferior or that it was unrealistic to have you so why not settle for a girl thats not so... superior? this all is only wishful thinking, im sure, but i have to vent it out. i wanna know if as much as i feel like i have to impress the guy, if hes feeling the same way. like, am i the one trying to get him to like me, or is he the one trying to get me to like him? it could go both ways, but it always feels like its one way or the other for me.
i hate seeing friends go downhill but knowing that the only way theyll get better is later on realizing they messed up and trying to fix their mistake. cuz of course right now their life seems peachy, and everyone else is wrong to criticize. its hard to admit youre wrong, esp. when youre enjoying being wrong. i know how easy it is to be blind to your own mistakes or not so smart decisions, because your view of it is so narrow minded and short term. to put it in perspective and think "oh five, ten, years from now will i regret this?" its hard, because why look to the future if you cant 100% control it? you have to do the best you can though to do alright now, because at least then when tomorrow rolls around youre that much better than you were the day before. i wish i could help people see what theyre doing is wrong, but theyll never see until they actually want to. and if youre reading this and for some reason you think its directed at you, it probably is, but it is also directed at many many other people too. so dont flip. i still love you. i wouldnt care if i didnt.
this week has been somewhat interesting. on monday mike heath's gf/john robichaud's ex gf Sam comes running up to me w/ amanda (aka the girl i thought was w/ joey). Sams telling me how much she loves me and how im her favorite girl and im standing there like huh? then she was like "you turned down my ex, whos a total ass! i love you!" and then amanda is like "do you know my brother jeremy?" i dont, but she went on to tell me that hes in love with me and all this other stuff. i was like woah! i felt bad for james, cuz they came up and totally interrupted him, but it was interesting so its all good haha
hmm what else? ive been listening to destinys child alot again lately. i dont know why, cuz i only listen to them when im really crushing on someone. but as far as i know, im not. it makes me wonder tho. like when you like someone, and they go to your school, you know how you look forward to certain classes ending cuz you know you'll see them in the hall? ive always wondered if the guy has felt the same way, like looking to see if class is almost over so he can run into you in the halls. or if he changes up his route to class a little bit so he can maybe run into you more? cuz girls, admit it, weve all done it. i would seriously love to know what a guy is thinking, how often he thinks about you, what hes thinking when he is thinking about you, how much of what he says is bullshit, how much of what you say he actually listens to, etc. i also would love to know when you and a guy break up/stop talking, if even tho you know theres no more feelings, if he ever regrets it. like when he sees you in the hall goes like damn, she was/couldve been mine. or when he hears his friends talking about how pretty you are or whatever, if hes like im an idiot. or if hes just like whatever, because he felt inferior or that it was unrealistic to have you so why not settle for a girl thats not so... superior? this all is only wishful thinking, im sure, but i have to vent it out. i wanna know if as much as i feel like i have to impress the guy, if hes feeling the same way. like, am i the one trying to get him to like me, or is he the one trying to get me to like him? it could go both ways, but it always feels like its one way or the other for me.
i hate seeing friends go downhill but knowing that the only way theyll get better is later on realizing they messed up and trying to fix their mistake. cuz of course right now their life seems peachy, and everyone else is wrong to criticize. its hard to admit youre wrong, esp. when youre enjoying being wrong. i know how easy it is to be blind to your own mistakes or not so smart decisions, because your view of it is so narrow minded and short term. to put it in perspective and think "oh five, ten, years from now will i regret this?" its hard, because why look to the future if you cant 100% control it? you have to do the best you can though to do alright now, because at least then when tomorrow rolls around youre that much better than you were the day before. i wish i could help people see what theyre doing is wrong, but theyll never see until they actually want to. and if youre reading this and for some reason you think its directed at you, it probably is, but it is also directed at many many other people too. so dont flip. i still love you. i wouldnt care if i didnt.