(no subject)
I dont even know if this makes any sense or not.
Alright so lately has been truly awful. I haven’t seen anybody for weeks, expect for seeing Irina last weekend. But I haven’t seen her for a week now. It’s way to long. And Rachel, I don’t know where she’s been. Her birthday was yesterday and I didn’t get to see her. Oh well.
Last weekend Irina came over and made me happy. She was supposed to come over today but Roberts sick and she’s taking care of him. (She’s such a sweetheart)
Last week I spent every day after the other falling further apart. And it’s not like its coming out of nowhere. Everything has all just kicked in all one time, now. Even if it’s taken over two years to kick in;
I think I’m scared of both success and failure; and I let everything get in my way of my life. But I know better and that’s the thing. It’s so fucked.
I was thinking last night, that maybe I should move far away from this broken home. Somewhere that I can get things done (*like my school work). Somewhere that I don’t have to get hurt ever ten minutes, though I do enjoy it…?
Ian’s still sick; he’s going to be for awhile. He dropped most of his school courses and so he’s home all the time. Were all home during the day, me, Billy and Ian. It’s a fucking pain in the ass.
And I still feel like I’m going to just fall over and die. But that doesn’t seem to matter cause Ian’s sicker then I am. Or well that or just that fact that they care about him more then me. But whatever I can take care of myself.
Alright so lately has been truly awful. I haven’t seen anybody for weeks, expect for seeing Irina last weekend. But I haven’t seen her for a week now. It’s way to long. And Rachel, I don’t know where she’s been. Her birthday was yesterday and I didn’t get to see her. Oh well.
Last weekend Irina came over and made me happy. She was supposed to come over today but Roberts sick and she’s taking care of him. (She’s such a sweetheart)
Last week I spent every day after the other falling further apart. And it’s not like its coming out of nowhere. Everything has all just kicked in all one time, now. Even if it’s taken over two years to kick in;
I think I’m scared of both success and failure; and I let everything get in my way of my life. But I know better and that’s the thing. It’s so fucked.
I was thinking last night, that maybe I should move far away from this broken home. Somewhere that I can get things done (*like my school work). Somewhere that I don’t have to get hurt ever ten minutes, though I do enjoy it…?
Ian’s still sick; he’s going to be for awhile. He dropped most of his school courses and so he’s home all the time. Were all home during the day, me, Billy and Ian. It’s a fucking pain in the ass.
And I still feel like I’m going to just fall over and die. But that doesn’t seem to matter cause Ian’s sicker then I am. Or well that or just that fact that they care about him more then me. But whatever I can take care of myself.