negative entry.
whats wrong with me lately? i could't tell you. all i do is work, make a lot of money, that doesn't seem like a lot of money to me anymore, come home, go tanning every now and then, try to sleep at night, but don't end up doing so until 6 in the morning when i have to work the next day, and constanly think about how i want almost everything in my life to be the opposite of what it is. 95% of the people in my life right now mean almost nothing to me, or at least thats just the way it seems lately. The other 5% aren't around enough, or always have that special way of making me upset because i care about them so much. I constantly feel like I am being lied to by everyone I care about,and I don't have the power to control it. I want to give up on one person in particular because I think doing so would help me out with most of my problems but it's so fucking hard and it's really not what I want at all.All I do to solve my problems nowadays is make stupid decisions, fuck myself over, and drink thinking it will make everything better.I feel like a pyscho everyday of my life because my mind NEVER stops thinking. There is always a million things running through my head at once, and none of them are ever positive. Nothing meets my standards anymore, it's nearly impossible to make me happy and I don't know what to do anymore, because all I do is cry.Basically I'm a mess and I need help from someone, anyone who cares, which is hard to find these days. If i put effort into you, I expect that effort back and right now would be a good time, because I'm going through hell and I don't know how much more of this I can take before I break down.
come back.please.
come back.please.