(no subject)
It could have been all over...and at the very last second and the phone rang again...not being the person it was expected. I guess I am more capable then I ever gave myself credit for, but I am still yet to prove this to myself. Others can see it, on the other hand I can not see it all or even a miniscule amount. The only thing I see is the juxtapositon of common human behaviour and how Ive always found myself on the outside looking in.
Ive been hurt in so many ways and been the victum on so many accounts, so many times in which I've swolled the pill myself because my misfortune is not your headache. If I had wished for anyone to see this, I would have showed them. I believe that I understand that everyone's mentallity is built surrounding themselves. Of course we have to think about other's. BECAUSE ITS SO REWARDING IN YOUR MIND THAT YOU DO SOMETHING NICE OR LOOK AFTER SOMEONE ELSE ISNT IT. Even if that's not the case, just think of the ying and yang theory. Cant have one side of thinking without the other. Of course, unfotunately, I still havent met anyone that can understand how I really feel or that can understand the things I say and why I say them. Nevermind the things I do, because no one ever achknowledge's the things I do for them.
On the outside looking in...motivated for anyone else but myself. On the other hand I am tired of being treated certain ways. Now I find myself still doing this favour...All because I do not want anyone feeling what I feel.
It would only be to easy to say HURT SAD ANGRY BLAH BLAH BLAH; but I will not measure or compare my feelings with yours.
The future is finally very very apparent. Somethings are going to happen and no hostages are going to be taken. Only because this is a cruel world and no one deserves to be maliciously hurt.
This journal is now closed, where I do not like talking about myself. I am not the only person that exists on this planet.
Ive been hurt in so many ways and been the victum on so many accounts, so many times in which I've swolled the pill myself because my misfortune is not your headache. If I had wished for anyone to see this, I would have showed them. I believe that I understand that everyone's mentallity is built surrounding themselves. Of course we have to think about other's. BECAUSE ITS SO REWARDING IN YOUR MIND THAT YOU DO SOMETHING NICE OR LOOK AFTER SOMEONE ELSE ISNT IT. Even if that's not the case, just think of the ying and yang theory. Cant have one side of thinking without the other. Of course, unfotunately, I still havent met anyone that can understand how I really feel or that can understand the things I say and why I say them. Nevermind the things I do, because no one ever achknowledge's the things I do for them.
On the outside looking in...motivated for anyone else but myself. On the other hand I am tired of being treated certain ways. Now I find myself still doing this favour...All because I do not want anyone feeling what I feel.
It would only be to easy to say HURT SAD ANGRY BLAH BLAH BLAH; but I will not measure or compare my feelings with yours.
The future is finally very very apparent. Somethings are going to happen and no hostages are going to be taken. Only because this is a cruel world and no one deserves to be maliciously hurt.
This journal is now closed, where I do not like talking about myself. I am not the only person that exists on this planet.