Put up shop...
29 July 2004
Rite...so yesterday nite i had to work and i had the whole patio as my section...about 9 tables. so yea it was kinda windy out last night you know around like 4 or some shit and i got it into my stupid little head that we really weren't going to be that busy outside. BIG MISTAKE!!! i literally got my ass handed to me on a pretty little platter. My sales alone were fuckin 775 dollars. for the whole night. I only made 67 bux aftter tip out. When i could have made a possible, and definately would have, made 120 bux if i had 15 percent tips on all my tables. Fuckin i was haulling ass all fuckin night last night. I was pissed as fuck! seriously. The biggest and only thing that went wrong last night was these two tables i accidentaly got mixed up because i was just rushing through shit. i mixed their bills up and there was about a 15 dollar difference on one than the other. and the one that the one table paid for was 15 bux cheaper than their actual mean and so yea....i was pissed because i ended up paying the difference, and that table was really bitchy at least the two gay guys that were sitting there were. and then that table that had to wait for fuckin like 20 minutes for their check got pissed and only left me 2 bux. which was bullshit. stupid fuckin pieces of shit! i dunno, if that hadn't happened i would have loved last night. because on those two tables alone i lost about 20/25 bux on paying the difference of the bill and gettin a good tip out of them. i don' fuckin know dude, i'm pissed and shit cuz that happened. i dunno i did a good job for the most part but towards the end of the night after that table i just fuckin crashed and was angry and just started not caring, u know? i don' fuckin know i just needed to take a deep breath and work through things slowly. i dunno i just hope that happens again and i don' make any mistakes, u know? i don' fuckin know. i just was pissed as shit!
06 August 2004
ABBA 2004 was good this year. I have to say that i feel guilty that i wasn't into it all that much this year though. I found out something hard and it just ruined it and made me angry with God and angry at the world. I mean i felt that he has given up on me and he isn't there anymore. I just have been feeling that for a few years now. And on thursday morning i don't know if it was for bible meditation or for the morning worship, but this was the passage/verse:
Matthew 11:28 - 30
28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
That said something to me, but last year it was different. it was a passage that talked about giving up all your burdens to him and not worrying. Lighten your heavy load or something. And it was something that eased my heart, you know? It was weird. I mean it really spoke to me and at the time i didn't know what burdens i had with me or i just but it in the back of my head, but lately i've been having so many thoughts and hardships on my soul that it's hard to realize that there is a God that cares and will do anything for me.
One thing that i have been convicted for for a long time is wandering from God. Every year i have church camp and every year it's the same, i go to camp and have this religious high and then i come back and i have it for a little while and then it fades, because i let it. because i don't have the will. Last year it lasted for maybe a month or a few months, but i stopped. I did good and meditated on a passage and read a passage from the Bible and everything, but then i just stopped. And one thing i learned this year is "Excuses hinder the work of God!!!" I mean that was a huge wake-up call to me, u know? I mean it was like "YO!!! HE'S TALKING TO YOU!!" And u know the funny part Pastor Rich was standing like right next to me and was like literally looking into my eyes and saying this. I was like wow, you're totally right. you're so completely right. in the inside i just broke down and asked myself "What the fuck are you doing with your life?" "Why are you making yourself miserable?" I was saying "Stop doing this to yourself!" It was like i needed someone to jolt me and slap me across the face to wake me up. it just depressed me to think that all this time it's been right inside of me, it was me that was the problem, it was me that was stupid and week, and it was me who wasn't completely willing.
And i have a confession to make. I haven't been to church since my graduation open house, and i didn't even go to the service. I went to recieve a Bible for my congratulations. And I haven't really been to church for about 2 or 3 years. Me and my brothers have been having lunch together every sunday and then when he got an apt. we just went to his place and watched TV. I'm even ashamed to even mention this. i'm just upset with myself. and it's making me depressed. i need to continue this some other time.
"YOU ARE NOT ALONE!" ~ Pastor Rich
Rite...so yesterday nite i had to work and i had the whole patio as my section...about 9 tables. so yea it was kinda windy out last night you know around like 4 or some shit and i got it into my stupid little head that we really weren't going to be that busy outside. BIG MISTAKE!!! i literally got my ass handed to me on a pretty little platter. My sales alone were fuckin 775 dollars. for the whole night. I only made 67 bux aftter tip out. When i could have made a possible, and definately would have, made 120 bux if i had 15 percent tips on all my tables. Fuckin i was haulling ass all fuckin night last night. I was pissed as fuck! seriously. The biggest and only thing that went wrong last night was these two tables i accidentaly got mixed up because i was just rushing through shit. i mixed their bills up and there was about a 15 dollar difference on one than the other. and the one that the one table paid for was 15 bux cheaper than their actual mean and so yea....i was pissed because i ended up paying the difference, and that table was really bitchy at least the two gay guys that were sitting there were. and then that table that had to wait for fuckin like 20 minutes for their check got pissed and only left me 2 bux. which was bullshit. stupid fuckin pieces of shit! i dunno, if that hadn't happened i would have loved last night. because on those two tables alone i lost about 20/25 bux on paying the difference of the bill and gettin a good tip out of them. i don' fuckin know dude, i'm pissed and shit cuz that happened. i dunno i did a good job for the most part but towards the end of the night after that table i just fuckin crashed and was angry and just started not caring, u know? i don' fuckin know i just needed to take a deep breath and work through things slowly. i dunno i just hope that happens again and i don' make any mistakes, u know? i don' fuckin know. i just was pissed as shit!
06 August 2004
ABBA 2004 was good this year. I have to say that i feel guilty that i wasn't into it all that much this year though. I found out something hard and it just ruined it and made me angry with God and angry at the world. I mean i felt that he has given up on me and he isn't there anymore. I just have been feeling that for a few years now. And on thursday morning i don't know if it was for bible meditation or for the morning worship, but this was the passage/verse:
Matthew 11:28 - 30
28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
That said something to me, but last year it was different. it was a passage that talked about giving up all your burdens to him and not worrying. Lighten your heavy load or something. And it was something that eased my heart, you know? It was weird. I mean it really spoke to me and at the time i didn't know what burdens i had with me or i just but it in the back of my head, but lately i've been having so many thoughts and hardships on my soul that it's hard to realize that there is a God that cares and will do anything for me.
One thing that i have been convicted for for a long time is wandering from God. Every year i have church camp and every year it's the same, i go to camp and have this religious high and then i come back and i have it for a little while and then it fades, because i let it. because i don't have the will. Last year it lasted for maybe a month or a few months, but i stopped. I did good and meditated on a passage and read a passage from the Bible and everything, but then i just stopped. And one thing i learned this year is "Excuses hinder the work of God!!!" I mean that was a huge wake-up call to me, u know? I mean it was like "YO!!! HE'S TALKING TO YOU!!" And u know the funny part Pastor Rich was standing like right next to me and was like literally looking into my eyes and saying this. I was like wow, you're totally right. you're so completely right. in the inside i just broke down and asked myself "What the fuck are you doing with your life?" "Why are you making yourself miserable?" I was saying "Stop doing this to yourself!" It was like i needed someone to jolt me and slap me across the face to wake me up. it just depressed me to think that all this time it's been right inside of me, it was me that was the problem, it was me that was stupid and week, and it was me who wasn't completely willing.
And i have a confession to make. I haven't been to church since my graduation open house, and i didn't even go to the service. I went to recieve a Bible for my congratulations. And I haven't really been to church for about 2 or 3 years. Me and my brothers have been having lunch together every sunday and then when he got an apt. we just went to his place and watched TV. I'm even ashamed to even mention this. i'm just upset with myself. and it's making me depressed. i need to continue this some other time.
"YOU ARE NOT ALONE!" ~ Pastor Rich