Worries...
14 July 2004
So do you ever feel like you're life is about to just crumble down and end? Well today sucked. I realized i need to work my ass off for the next few days to pay off a few debts. I need to pay off my retainer, my orthodontist and a stupid ticket that i got 2day for speeding. I fuckin hate life right now. WTF is wrong with me. I mean i'm not happy with myself, i don't have much going for me right now, and i can't say no to fuckin anything anymore. I let someone borrow 700 dollars, not to mention fuckin 250 bux that i let someone borrow a few months ago. WTF is wrong with me? why the fuck am i so easy to give into people? seriously. I hate my life right now. I dunno just this past week i've been hating everything about me and my life. whts up with that? I wish i had a better life, i guess. i wish i had parents that didn't freak out so fuckin easily too. I have a lot of damn wishes, but i need to take the heat for a bunch of things. i guess i'll just get punished an never drive. ayte?
Damn and on top of that i'm not ready for skool to start next month either. i'm gonna fail so much shit to, holy crap, i just wanna crawl into a hole and not be bothered. i really wanna fuckin get trashed off my mind, is wht i wanna do. And i wanna find someone that'll listen to me, like really listen to me and my problems. i'm sick of being there for everyone else. i'm sick of just playing into peoples hands like i'm a puppet and i'm sick of doing everything that's asked of me. i really do wanna move to NY for a year. I really do need to get outta here for awhile and experience new things and be somewhere else. i'll brb.
18 July 2004
Rite...so i realize that this isn't a chat or anything, but i don' care. i'm a freak...i know this. So my lil bro is leaving for Africa 2mor...and my mom has already shed some tears, obviously. You know it never really occured to me that when Ty went to Africa that he could end up never coming back. I realized that 2nite, when Ben was packing. And it kinda upset me, u know? I was scared for him. I know he can be a big pain in the ass, but i do love my brothers and i do love my family, a little bit. I dunno it's just that at the moments where it counts the most, i hate them with all my heart. And that's what counts. I rarely have times where i actually care for my family. I dunno who fckin cares rite?
So yea did i mention pain killers rule! I'm on Hydro Codoin or some shit and i am soo out of it it's friggin awesome. and it's making me really happy. heh. to tell u the truth it kinda makes me feel like i'm a bit high. LoL. and damn does it feel good. Only it doesn' taste at all that bad. LoL. Well I guess i'm out!
You can't help how you feel...
So do you ever feel like you're life is about to just crumble down and end? Well today sucked. I realized i need to work my ass off for the next few days to pay off a few debts. I need to pay off my retainer, my orthodontist and a stupid ticket that i got 2day for speeding. I fuckin hate life right now. WTF is wrong with me. I mean i'm not happy with myself, i don't have much going for me right now, and i can't say no to fuckin anything anymore. I let someone borrow 700 dollars, not to mention fuckin 250 bux that i let someone borrow a few months ago. WTF is wrong with me? why the fuck am i so easy to give into people? seriously. I hate my life right now. I dunno just this past week i've been hating everything about me and my life. whts up with that? I wish i had a better life, i guess. i wish i had parents that didn't freak out so fuckin easily too. I have a lot of damn wishes, but i need to take the heat for a bunch of things. i guess i'll just get punished an never drive. ayte?
Damn and on top of that i'm not ready for skool to start next month either. i'm gonna fail so much shit to, holy crap, i just wanna crawl into a hole and not be bothered. i really wanna fuckin get trashed off my mind, is wht i wanna do. And i wanna find someone that'll listen to me, like really listen to me and my problems. i'm sick of being there for everyone else. i'm sick of just playing into peoples hands like i'm a puppet and i'm sick of doing everything that's asked of me. i really do wanna move to NY for a year. I really do need to get outta here for awhile and experience new things and be somewhere else. i'll brb.
18 July 2004
Rite...so i realize that this isn't a chat or anything, but i don' care. i'm a freak...i know this. So my lil bro is leaving for Africa 2mor...and my mom has already shed some tears, obviously. You know it never really occured to me that when Ty went to Africa that he could end up never coming back. I realized that 2nite, when Ben was packing. And it kinda upset me, u know? I was scared for him. I know he can be a big pain in the ass, but i do love my brothers and i do love my family, a little bit. I dunno it's just that at the moments where it counts the most, i hate them with all my heart. And that's what counts. I rarely have times where i actually care for my family. I dunno who fckin cares rite?
So yea did i mention pain killers rule! I'm on Hydro Codoin or some shit and i am soo out of it it's friggin awesome. and it's making me really happy. heh. to tell u the truth it kinda makes me feel like i'm a bit high. LoL. and damn does it feel good. Only it doesn' taste at all that bad. LoL. Well I guess i'm out!
You can't help how you feel...