The tale of the watch band
My wife bought herself a new watch for Christmas.* It seems to be a very
nice watch. It’s self winding and has day and date on the dial with the
time. The band it came with is one of those metal ones that folds in on
itself and snaps closed to hold it in place.
The watch came with an instruction sheet, but that basically only told how
to get the self-winding going and how often you had to wear it to keep it
going.
I did manage to figure out how to set the time, date and day. I’m not sure
about the Spanish/English on the day. I set it for the English day names.
But, with a dial watch where it actually moves, I’m not sure how that
works. And, will it have to be reset for non-31 day months? Probably.
So, after all that setting, she tried it on. It was very loose and needed
to be adjusted.
This type of band has 5 or 6 different latch positions. To change them,
you’ve got to unhook the small spring pin that goes between the holes in
the band, and put it in a different set.
I took a pin and managed to get the pin out. It’s small. About 1mm
(1/32”) in diameter and about 12mm (1/2”) in length. It’s got smaller
spring loaded bits in each end to push into the holes in the band.
So, I picked the middle set of holes, put the first end in, pushed down the
other to snap it in and…
I don’t know where it went. I didn’t think the spring was that strong. It
couldn’t have gone that far. But, that little gray pin when somewhere on
our blue/gray couch or the floor I wasn’t able to vacuum because the belt
on the vac broke.
So, I looked. I looked on the couch. I looked on the floor. Holly
brought me another light to help. I put a new light bulb in the light so
it worked.
I looked for half an hour.** No pin.
So, I took the watch over to Wal-Mart. After waiting in line for two
people to return things they got the day before that they didn’t like***, I got to
talk to the man at the watch counter.
I explained the problem to the watch man.
“No problem,” he said. “I’ve got a ton of pins here. I’ll find one to fit
it and there’s no reason for me to charge you anything for that.”
I should point out that I had explained my wife got it as a gift and I
didn’t know from where. So, he had no reason to think I got it there.
That makes him extra nice.
He went under the counter and pulled out a zip-lock bag full of little
watch pins. He poured them out on his desk and started going through
them.
They were not sorted and must have had a hundred or more of different sizes
and lengths. I had trouble telling them apart, but he was able to say
“that one is too long, that one to big, that one too short”. He tried a
few from time to time, but none of them fit. I guess her watch had a
smaller than normal pin. He must have tried a dozen or more, none fit
through the band.
While he was trying two other people asked to look at watches, but he told
them he was working with me, and he’d get to them when he was done with me.
I felt bad about that, but it was nice of him.
I could see where it was going, even though he kept trying to fit them in.
I went over to the bands and looked through them. There was one that was
almost identical to the one on the watch, but only one. I took it off the
rack.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t seem to have the right one. If you go to a
watch repair shop, they will probably be able to help you.”
“Could you put on a new band instead?” he said.
“If I have one that matches,” he said. “But, I don’t think I’ve got one to
fit.”
“What about this one?” I asked, handing him the one I had picked.
“That’s a pretty good match,” he said looking at it. “I think it will fit.”
He set to work with a set of tools I envied for this sort of work.**** The old
watch band did not go gently. It took him at least five minutes each end
to get it loose. But, he did manage it and got the new one on fairly
quickly.
I actually felt better about that. At least that was I was a customer and
that made up for some of his time.
“Keep the old band,” he said. “If anything goes wrong with the new, all it
needs is the pin. And, there’s a 90 day warrantee on the new band anyhow.”
My only worry was the new band was shorter than the old. The old started
in the farthest hole and was too loose. This one was at the far hole, and
about the size I had been trying for. But, if it didn’t fit, then I
couldn’t increase the size. So, if it was too tight, I’d be back in the
same boat.
I brought the watch back to my wife. She tried it on. It fit fine. She
didn’t seem to notice it wasn’t the band it left with. I won’t tell her if
you don’t.
So it took about 2 hours of my time and cost me $12. All because I offered
to help her with her watch. I’m torn on that.
Should I not have offered to help? Then, I wouldn’t have screwed it up and
wouldn’t have felt I had to get it fixed immediately or be blamed for
ruining her special gift to herself.
I no longer have the luxury of making honest mistakes. Anything I do wrong
is a punishment or attack. But, anything nice I do is considered
manipulation or attempts to control or bribe. If I do nothing, then I’m
uncaring and apathetic.
I can’t be perfect. But, if I’m not then she leaves or takes up with the
other man.
I don’t know how to live like that. I don’t want to live like that. I’m
pretty sure I can’t.
I am human. I will make mistakes. Sooner or later there will be one that
I can’t fix at Wal-Mart.
Then what happens?
I don’t know.
I feel like I’m flying a plane through some mountains. The radar isn’t
working and I’m in a cloud bank. I can’t land. Going straight might put
me into a mountain. But, any turn or change might do the same. The
mountains are taller than the plane can fly, so I can’t just climb over
them. And, every so often, the people on the ground shoot up at me, just
for fun.
*I am somewhat sad that my wife didn’t tell me she wanted a watch for
Christmas. I’d have been very happy to give her such a present. I was
asked to get her glove and hat liners. So, instead of being the person who
gives her what she really wants, I’ve been relegated to the realm of that
aunt who gives you things that are useful and you’ll use, but aren’t really
what you want. I’d like to be the one that she could tell what she really
wants and know she’ll get it. She and I both have the habit of expecting
disappointment. That many times when growing up we said what we wanted and
were denied it. So, we’d tell the things we didn’t care about to others.
If we got them, good. If not, so what? I’m sad to be living in that
category now.
** I spend the whole time saying to myself “she bought this as a special
gift for herself and I’ve managed to break it in less than 10 minutes. No
mater how small the pin or how strong the spring it’s going to be seen as
my breaking her special thing for herself. The best case is they’ll say
that I didn’t mean to do it consciously, but unconsciously lost the pin.
It will be some expression of my anger at her or something, not fat fingers
on a little pin. More likely it will be proof that I’m abusive in subtle
ways. That I found a perfect way to annoy her and get away with it by
blaming the pin.” After all, I’ve been told that I’m so good at
manipulation I don’t even know I’m doing it. To me that sounds like being
able to set the alarm clock correctly after you’ve gone to sleep. Good
trick if you can do it. But, if I don’t know I’m doing it, then how do I
know I’m not? Right? I haven’t been able to figure that one out yet…
*** For reasons not clear to me, or the watch man, Wal-Mart makes returns
of watches happen at the watch counter. Other returns can be done up
front, but not watches. Go figure.
**** Sword repair tools and watch repair tools are very different. I need the sword ones far more often. So, I'm glad I've got them. But, once and a while, it would be nice to have the small ones too.