When I was getting questioned about things before my test at the hospital yesterday there were some questions where I guess my answers were not standard.
“Do you have any open cuts?” they asked.
“I’ve got one on my leg that’s been a bit slow to heal,” I replied.
They looked at it.
“It’s small, I don’t think it is a problem,” they said. “What caused it.”
“I hit myself with my own sword.”
“What was that?”
“My wife and I run a sword performance troupe.”
“And you hit yourself with a sword?”
“I was doing a sword show and in one move I’m supposed to drop my sword and tackle the other guy. When I dropped my sword, I didn’t push it far enough away and it hit my leg on the way down. The cut was fairly large.”
“When was this?”
“About 2 months ago.”
“That’s fine. It’s healed well.”
The next question was “do you feel safe at home?”
“Sure.”
“You’re positive?”
“The sword thing happened in New Jersey, not at home.”
Then “do you ever have instances of self harm?”
“Look, I didn’t mean to hit my leg with that sword. I was tired and didn’t push it far enough away.”
“That’s not what we mean.”
“I never hit myself with the swords on purpose.”
“OK, we’ll go with that.”
Finally “Do you have any metal in your body?”
“Not that I know of.”
“You’re sure?” She asked, looking at my leg.
“The sword didn’t stick in. It bounced off. I’m pretty sure the only metal in my body is fillings in my teeth.”
“No other metal?”
“Nope. I’ve got my wedding ring on, but it’s made of rubber.”
“Why?”
“I’m allergic to metal.”
“Swords are metal.”
“And, leave cuts that take a while to heal.”
“OK, I’m putting down that you’re good to go.”