So, today I contacted one of my cousins and my aunt’s brother who lives in a different branch of the same chain of retirement homes.
They were much more up to date on what’s really going on.
There have been two fires. Both were cooking related, although one was a piece of paper too near the stove when it was on.
Both cause the smoke detectors to go off causing much concern in the old age home.
No one thinks it is arson. Everyone thinks my aunt’s mental condition has made it difficult for her to use the stove safely.
The home wanted to move them to the assisted living branch, but my aunt resisted. This was when the place specializing in memory was brought in.
All of these arrangements were made with the knowledge and consent of my aunts lawyers who have made sure everything is above board. My uncle has been in close contact with the lawyers and made sure everything they’ve approved has been good for my aunt and her husband. He has apparently spent considerable time on this.
This has been in the works since October. Although I’ve talked with my aunt more than once a month over that time, she never mentioned this before last week.
Apparently at that point she remembered that all of this was taking effect and freaked out, resulting in me and my wife being called.
Despite her asking us for help, only approved staff is allowed in the home. The lawyer, with my uncle’s help, has arranged for the home to do all their packing, moving and putting things in storage.
So, we would not be allowed to help even if we weren’t still sick.
The good news is that this appears to be much less sinister than my aunt had been expressing to me.
The bad news is it shows how far she has slipped in her memory.
Either way, she moves tomorrow.
As my uncle said when I asked what to do to help "listen to her when she needs someone to talk to".
That, I can do.
I'm going to talk to my uncle Ted (aunt's brother) tomorrow about all this and see. That should be interesting as he has not been open to my talking to him since my mother declared me an embarrassment to the family 25 years ago. (We have talked at the very few family events I've gone to in that time, but only pleasantries.)
So, we'll see how that goes...