Shhhhh! FB's Not Here
(tiptoes into side of journal and looks around sheepishly)
FB: Hello? Can anyone see me? I'm not here if you can because I am supposed to be-
Chris Bale: FB!!!!
FB: GAH! (jumps ten feet into air and lands in heap hyperventilating)
Chris Bale: (cluelessly) What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be finishing my star profile for film studies? I thought you had an FS2 exam on Monday.
FB: (muttering grumpily) And an English Language TC and a history source paper...
Flynn: Just face it, she's not supposed to be here.
Aiken: (incoherently) You know which superhero I like the most? (wonky smile) Batman. He's my idol because he wears a mask just like that one (points at mirror) That guy's hot, who is he?
Flynn: (raises eyebrow/ to Aiken) What's up with you?
FB: (loudly) Yeah, that was random.
Aiken: Pass the mustard (puffs up proudly)
Sammy: Home movies?
Chris Bale: (to FB)Is it always like this in here?
FB: Don't talk to me, I'm not here remember! I am delving into the Internet to search for stuff on Secondhand Lions so I can have a bombing box office case study...or something that sounds good...
Aiken: I didn't know clocks were made of cakes and since when did Spud get his own room? (points at chicken farm where everyone turns to look expectantly at Ron who is in a 'Kiss the Cook apron sweeping up chicken doo)
Ron: (muttering) Goddamn chickens that eat so much fucking feed and then shit the stuff out all over the place (glances up)...What?
(Aiken walks up to very large orange chicken...er...who is also part peacock and peers at it)
Aiken: You know, I used to have a room too y'know...until my hypergraphia made the walls look pretty.
Flynn: (eyebrow nearly hits statosphere) Dude, that isn't Spud. What the hell's going on?
Noel from his hybernating place in the brain of doom: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Aiken: Batman Caleria...ace reporter...is NOT a flying sqirrel.
Flynn: (getting irritated) Stop screwing off Aiken, no-one's listening.
FB: (shiftily) That's because there's no-one here to listen.
Luke: Stop mis-using reflexive nouns damn you! I can see I have a lot of work to do (strides purposefully towards speech therapy)
Mrs F: (looking up from her sewing at Aiken, her brow knits and she gets back on with her knitting)
Aiken: (with a look that suggests carvulsive lunatic) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KNIT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Luke: (with dictionary the size of small city) Carvulsive...carvulsive...
Flynn: And?
Mrs F: And what dear?
Flynn: What's up with him?
Mrs F: (looks at Aiken who is now waltzing seriously with the cow who came in yesterday when I watched the episode of Fairly Odd Parents in which the British guy said we love cows so there has to be one now) He's sick dear. He's got a fever.
FB: I named her Bessy! (is proud of self)
Flynn: Uh...
Aiken: (kneels) Will you take my hand in carriage?
Quentin: I knew all this lying would come to no good but NOOOOOOOOO Nobody listens to the conscience!
FB: Pinochio listened to Jiminy in...Pinochio!
Quentin: (glares)Oh sure, everybody listens to the adorable little Disney cricket but they never listen to the guy with THE FUCKING GREAT BIG CHAINS ALL OVER HIS BODY!
Chris Bale: You guys might wanna get him some medicine (points at Aiken)
Aiken: Watch this, my eyes come off (pulls of mask), my eyes fix on (puts on mask), my eyes come off...
FB: (shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other) Would this be a bad time to mention I have no healer? ehehehe?
Richard: I would be a healer, if I could remember if I was or not...(neon sign flashes NO! boldly)
Flynn: How did he get sick anyway?
(big blank space as everyone considers this and come up with nothing)
Aiken: I think I should be blue because blue's a boy's colour where pink is a girl's colour and girls are weeeeeeeeeeeeeeird (giggles hysterically)
Flynn: (trying not to provoke anything) Yes Aiken, we all agree.
Faith: Well I don't. (grumpiness x 8)
Mrs F: The best we can do is get him to bed and get him a cold compress for his head.
(all blink except for Aiken and The Vega who are locked in their apartment practicing and have no idea what's going on and Noel who's hybernating)
Mrs F: NOW WOULD BE GOOD DEARS!!!!!!
(all run around in circles in blind panic...well...some of all anyway)
The Circle Guy: Now this is what I call society!
BW who is probably attempting to fall into a pit of custard and celotape her pen lid to her octopus: Hello? Did you not read the first bit of your journal?! YOU SHOULD BE WORKING DAMNIT!
FB: Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going...sheesh.
Aiken: (calling) I'll get my tobogan!
And so it was that my espionage plan failed because I was discovered by the infamous detective skills of the imaginary BW who is proabably trying to stick a spoon to her nose whilst juggling a hippo and a family of beavers wearing fishing caps and Nike trainers. Thus my travels have been cut shot and my quest for Secondhand Lions stuff continues...
Mrs F: Quick, shove it in, before he clamps it shut again.
Aiken: OUCH!
(several seconds tick by on clock resembling yam)
Mrs F: 103...he needs bed rest...
Aiken: I didn't bury the tangerine in the Bemuda Triangle, honest Sir! It was...(looks around wildly) Flynn! Flynn did it.
Flynn: Thanks Aiken T_T
FB out.
FB: Hello? Can anyone see me? I'm not here if you can because I am supposed to be-
Chris Bale: FB!!!!
FB: GAH! (jumps ten feet into air and lands in heap hyperventilating)
Chris Bale: (cluelessly) What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be finishing my star profile for film studies? I thought you had an FS2 exam on Monday.
FB: (muttering grumpily) And an English Language TC and a history source paper...
Flynn: Just face it, she's not supposed to be here.
Aiken: (incoherently) You know which superhero I like the most? (wonky smile) Batman. He's my idol because he wears a mask just like that one (points at mirror) That guy's hot, who is he?
Flynn: (raises eyebrow/ to Aiken) What's up with you?
FB: (loudly) Yeah, that was random.
Aiken: Pass the mustard (puffs up proudly)
Sammy: Home movies?
Chris Bale: (to FB)Is it always like this in here?
FB: Don't talk to me, I'm not here remember! I am delving into the Internet to search for stuff on Secondhand Lions so I can have a bombing box office case study...or something that sounds good...
Aiken: I didn't know clocks were made of cakes and since when did Spud get his own room? (points at chicken farm where everyone turns to look expectantly at Ron who is in a 'Kiss the Cook apron sweeping up chicken doo)
Ron: (muttering) Goddamn chickens that eat so much fucking feed and then shit the stuff out all over the place (glances up)...What?
(Aiken walks up to very large orange chicken...er...who is also part peacock and peers at it)
Aiken: You know, I used to have a room too y'know...until my hypergraphia made the walls look pretty.
Flynn: (eyebrow nearly hits statosphere) Dude, that isn't Spud. What the hell's going on?
Noel from his hybernating place in the brain of doom: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Aiken: Batman Caleria...ace reporter...is NOT a flying sqirrel.
Flynn: (getting irritated) Stop screwing off Aiken, no-one's listening.
FB: (shiftily) That's because there's no-one here to listen.
Luke: Stop mis-using reflexive nouns damn you! I can see I have a lot of work to do (strides purposefully towards speech therapy)
Mrs F: (looking up from her sewing at Aiken, her brow knits and she gets back on with her knitting)
Aiken: (with a look that suggests carvulsive lunatic) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KNIT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Luke: (with dictionary the size of small city) Carvulsive...carvulsive...
Flynn: And?
Mrs F: And what dear?
Flynn: What's up with him?
Mrs F: (looks at Aiken who is now waltzing seriously with the cow who came in yesterday when I watched the episode of Fairly Odd Parents in which the British guy said we love cows so there has to be one now) He's sick dear. He's got a fever.
FB: I named her Bessy! (is proud of self)
Flynn: Uh...
Aiken: (kneels) Will you take my hand in carriage?
Quentin: I knew all this lying would come to no good but NOOOOOOOOO Nobody listens to the conscience!
FB: Pinochio listened to Jiminy in...Pinochio!
Quentin: (glares)Oh sure, everybody listens to the adorable little Disney cricket but they never listen to the guy with THE FUCKING GREAT BIG CHAINS ALL OVER HIS BODY!
Chris Bale: You guys might wanna get him some medicine (points at Aiken)
Aiken: Watch this, my eyes come off (pulls of mask), my eyes fix on (puts on mask), my eyes come off...
FB: (shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other) Would this be a bad time to mention I have no healer? ehehehe?
Richard: I would be a healer, if I could remember if I was or not...(neon sign flashes NO! boldly)
Flynn: How did he get sick anyway?
(big blank space as everyone considers this and come up with nothing)
Aiken: I think I should be blue because blue's a boy's colour where pink is a girl's colour and girls are weeeeeeeeeeeeeeird (giggles hysterically)
Flynn: (trying not to provoke anything) Yes Aiken, we all agree.
Faith: Well I don't. (grumpiness x 8)
Mrs F: The best we can do is get him to bed and get him a cold compress for his head.
(all blink except for Aiken and The Vega who are locked in their apartment practicing and have no idea what's going on and Noel who's hybernating)
Mrs F: NOW WOULD BE GOOD DEARS!!!!!!
(all run around in circles in blind panic...well...some of all anyway)
The Circle Guy: Now this is what I call society!
BW who is probably attempting to fall into a pit of custard and celotape her pen lid to her octopus: Hello? Did you not read the first bit of your journal?! YOU SHOULD BE WORKING DAMNIT!
FB: Alright, alright, I'm going, I'm going...sheesh.
Aiken: (calling) I'll get my tobogan!
And so it was that my espionage plan failed because I was discovered by the infamous detective skills of the imaginary BW who is proabably trying to stick a spoon to her nose whilst juggling a hippo and a family of beavers wearing fishing caps and Nike trainers. Thus my travels have been cut shot and my quest for Secondhand Lions stuff continues...
Mrs F: Quick, shove it in, before he clamps it shut again.
Aiken: OUCH!
(several seconds tick by on clock resembling yam)
Mrs F: 103...he needs bed rest...
Aiken: I didn't bury the tangerine in the Bemuda Triangle, honest Sir! It was...(looks around wildly) Flynn! Flynn did it.
Flynn: Thanks Aiken T_T
FB out.