Lost In Translation (MatsuKame)
TITLE: Lost In Translation
Pairing : MatsuKame (Jun X Kame)
Genre : Crack
Disclaimer : Only the plot is mine.
Words : 1640~ (Not really a drabble I guess XD)
Summary : Jun has a love problem. Nino, Aiba and Sho have a plan. But unexpectedly, Ohno has other arrangement.
A/N: 1) Written for help_pilipinas $1-for-a-drabble fundraising, requested by lovely jubelcinta. Dear, sorry I took so long to complete your request. I had the first half of this fic for the past two weeks, but kept on deleting and rewriting the other half. Hope you'll enjoy it (^_^)
2) Ohno Satoshi managed to ninja-ing himself again.
“What’s, with the face?” Nino squeezed himself next to Jun, and poked his puffing cheeks.
“Yeah, you look like someone with constipation” Sho added, laughing at his own joke; luckily missed the flying cushion thrown by Jun.
Glaring intensely to the other, Jun replied with a scoff “That’s not even funny.”
“So, what’s wrong with you?” Aiba asked with his mouth full, enjoying his bento. Ohno was sitting next to him, finishing his own lunch box with absolute dedication.
Jun sighed; crossing his arms over his chest, refusing to give in “Nothing. I’m just tired.”
“I know that look” Aiba excitedly pointed his chopstick at Jun, swallowing the last piece of ebi tempura dangling from his lips “It was the same look Sho was giving, when he’s falling for Keiko-chan, and then found out that she’s not available.”
Sho stopped laughing; another flying cushion flew in the air “I did not.”
Nino giggled, stomping his feet gleefully “You did. Oh my god, it was classic! Well, at least you found out about Mukai-kun before you did something stupid.”
“Excuse me! Aren’t we talking about Jun a moment ago” Sho reminded everyone with a frowned, lips pouted in dismay.
Jun stood up, not taking any risk “Don’t drag me into this.”
But before he could move an inch, Nino and Sho grabbed him by his arms and pulled him down “You’re not getting away that easily” Nino said, tightening his grip.
“Spill it out” Sho ordered, tucking Jun under his arm, while Aiba put down his bento and slide closer.
As for Ohno, he moved to his melon pudding, perfectly content in his own sweet world.
Jun tried to wiggle himself free, but to no avail. Finally giving in, after a series of tickling attack, he replied in a quiet voice, squirming endlessly under Nino’s raving hands “I’m sort of seeing someone.”
“Oh we know that already, don’t we?” Nino replied nonchalantly, unimpressed with the answer.
“Of course, of course” Aiba nodded firmly “The new hair cut.”
“The new Burberry perfume” Sho added “And that expensive new jeans.”
“Excuse me” Jun frowned “You guys concluded that I’m seeing someone just because I’m wearing Burberry perfume and a new pair of jeans?”
“Well actually, the hickey was the one that gave you away” Nino replied blatantly, ignoring Jun’s dread expression “Hickey during working days mean a higher degree of commitment, right.”
Aiba and Sho nodded rhythmically “Indeed”
“So, who is he?” Aiba chipped in, clinging happily to Jun’s knees.
“A nobody” Jun grumbled, staring straight ahead, to avoid any eye contact with his giggling-like-high-school-girls members.
“It’s someone we know very well, isn’t it?” Nino replied confidently, flashing his trademark smirk
“Ehh? Why?” Sho exclaimed aloud, edging closer and accidently bumped his knees with Jun’s.
Jun winced painfully, not only due to the unintentional physical attack; Nino’s spot-on answer was too much to bear.
“Coz, if it’s someone we don’t know, he’ll be happy to tell us instead” Nino replied, noting gleefully that Jun was fidgeting under his arms.
“Ehh! Someone we know? Seriously?” Aiba asked excitedly.
“It’s Kame isn’t” Nino answered without any hesitation “I saw the way you were lusting over him.”
“I did not” Jun stammered, failed to come up with a better reply.
“It’s him” Aiba and Sho exclaimed in unison, reminding Jun of the annoying twins in Alice in Wonderland.
“It’s not like that~” his words died mid sentence, sighed in defeat.
After the three stopped squealing and shrieking at Jun’s expense, Ohno joined the group, curling comfortably next to Nino; Sho asked with a straight face “So, what’s the problem?”
“We’ve been, friends with benefit for awhile. Neither agreed on exclusivity nor any sort of relationship” Jun confessed, paused slightly to observe the expectant stares “But recently, I kinda want something solid out of it”
“Have you asked him about it, then?” Ohno finally joined the conversation, earned him silent welcome and kudos from the rest.
“Sort of” Jun answered under his breath “I asked him whether he’s dating anyone” Jun added quietly, almost too painful to bear.
“And?” Nino asked attentively, hiding him devilish smirk.
“He said yes” he bitted his lips, continuing in disgust “And my gut feeling is telling me, it’s someone I know very well.”
“Then what did you do?” Sho asked eagerly, enjoying the drama, of course.
“I was annoyed” his pitchy voice peaked. But then he added with flatter tone “and well, I kinda walk out” voice laced with regrets.
“You did not” the three members exclaimed in unison, gasping exaggeratingly; as expected from drama queens.
Nothing new, really, except for one odd thing; a small knowing smile on Ohno’s quiet lips. It was rare indeed, but Jun was too occupied with the other insensitive members, yelping and giggling, to care much on the peculiarity.
And that was the mistake, he’s going to pay later.
*********************
“Why the fuck are you guys doing?” Jun hissed, stepping out of the elevator, meeting three stalker-like Arashi members, who was busy leaning onto Ohno’s apartment’s door.
A moment later, Jun was held to the ground, mouth covered by Nino’s hands and Aiba whispered inches away from his ears “Shh. You are going to surprise them.”
It took almost a whole minute of struggling and wiggling to get free. Only later, the three convinced to let him go. And as soon as they did, in hushed rage, he cursed “What the fuck are you guys doing? I thought you guys are supposed to come over to my place.”
“That was the plan. We have the best intention to let you drown in beers” Nino explained, pointing at the pack beers held by Aiba and Sho “and listen to your miserable cock-blocking episode.”
Jun pushed away Sho’s arms grumpily “Then why are we here, camping outside Ohno’s apartment?”
“Because, a situation suddenly change” Sho replied in his newscaster demeanor “Nino, will you do the honor” he playfully held an invisible mic to Nino.
And of course the other played along “It happened so fast. I was just doing my thing, planning how to cheer you from your love trouble, when Ohno walked into the dressing room. Then I asked him whether he wanted to join the festivities tonight. Then~” Nino paused dramatically, eyes twinkled brightly “he said, he’s sorry, he can’t join tonight. He told me he got a prior engagement he can’t cancel.”
Jun wrapped his arms around himself, confused and irritated “So? I don’t get it. Riida must have an art work he needs to finish, or something. Most probably, he just want to sleep in early.”
“No, no, no. This is different” Nino replied in confident “My intuition is telling me, this is something BIG.”
Jun shook his head in disbelief, turning his attention to Sho and Aiba “And you two just tag along?”
“Well, Nino was the one driving today” Sho confessed innocently.
“So, what are we waiting for” Jun pushed himself up “Let’s get this over with and we can trash my place later.”
“That’s the spirit” Nino and Aiba cheered, but quickly hushed by Sho.
~Ping pong~
It almost felt like eternity before the door was carefully opened by the surprised looking Ohno.
“Surprise” the four smiled idiotically, forcefully shoving themselves in.
But as the other three made their way to Ohno’s living room, Jun was left baffled at the doorway, staring down at a familiar expensive leather shoes lying on the floor “Is Kame here?”
And at that very moment, the guy in question stepped out from the guest room, buttoning his white shirt nonchalantly “Oh-chan, I think you need to get a plumber to check your~”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jun rushed to Kame’s side. Lucky for Ohno, Sho was quick enough to drag him out of the danger zone.
“That’s supposed to be my line” Kame replied with a scoff.
“Answer me” Jun shouted, ignoring the surrounding “Are seeing Ohno behind my back. Or, am I actually the third guy?”
“Huh? You got to be kidding me” Kame rolled his eyes.
“Stop playing games with me, Kame” Jun pushed Kame to the wall, hands roughly gripping Kame’s tired shoulder.
“You’re the one playing games” Kame stubbornly stared into Jun’s raging eyes “You’re the one who suddenly walk out.”
Jun shook his head defensively “Last week, you told me you’re seeing someone.”
“Yes, I am seeing someone. I’ve been seeing the same guy for the past 5 months. It was you” Kame replied, angrily “And I thought you wanted the same thing” voice low and hurt.
“I did, I do” Jun answered quickly, loosening his gripped, realizing his stupid mistake. Then scratching his head frustratingly “Argh! So what are you doing here then?”
“Calligraphy” a sheepish reply came from the eldest guy.
“Calligraphy?” Arashi members exclaimed in unison, staring perplexed at their leader.
Ohno nodded “Kame needs a crash course for his Going series, so his manager arranged me to be his tutor.”
The room fell into a complete silent. Bewildered by the pieces of puzzle, Jun finally able to see clearly,
Then with strong strides, he pulled and pushed his group members out, placing a set of keys onto Ohno’s open palm “Here, you guys can camp out at my place. I’m taking your house hostage instead, punishment for not telling me about this calligraphy thingy. Now, please excuse me, Kame and I have some domestic issue to resolve” and with that, he shut the door and locked it up.
**************
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nino asked, clinging himself over Ohno’s shoulder, as he pressed the elevator’s button.
“Yeah. You can just spill it out when Jun confessed the other day” Aiba arched his brows.
“Well, you see, Kame was a good student and I kinda like having him around” Ohno replied with a shrug.
“You should know better that Jun doesn’t like to share” Sho returned to his newscaster tone "Well, at least we got another great news today. I'm Sakurai Sho, reporting for Arashi News."