(no subject)
So, I've been at the beach ever since last saturday with mi familia. It's been ok I guess. Not the most eventful vacation we've had, but it has been relaxing. I've been able to think about a lot of crap that's been on my mind and for once I've actually been able to talk about my boyfriend with my parents. It's nice to finally be in a relationship where i don't have to hide anything from my parents and I can actually make public entries in my lj about it all.
Speaking of which, Jake and I are doing absolutely wonderful. When I get home on Saturday he wants to take me out to the movies, then later that night we'll get together with some people and go ghost hunting. Fun stuff. I just can't wait to see him :-). But I guess that's just me.. being all obsessive and whiney. Anyways, I asked my dad if it would be ok if Jake and I and maybe some friends went up to the mountain house for a weekend sometime this summer. He said that would be fine, I just have to call my grandma and pretty much schedule a weekend. So whoever else wants to go with us, just let me know. There's 5 bedrooms, 8 beds in all.
My panties are getting in a slight twist about something lately. I'm not upset or hurt by this in all means, but I am starting to get pissed about it. Wouldn't you if you spent 4 years of your life trying to make someone happy, and I mean really putting your all into it, and then have them say they're not lucky in love? You're fucking right you're not lucky when you treat every good girl you get like shit. You're not going to be lucky if you cheat on them, strip them of their friends, and then pretty much ditch them for the next best thing that comes along. Luck has nothing to do with that, so please stop saying it. Maybe you should put it in words along the lines of this.. "I've treated every girl I've gone out with like shit, so right now I'm lonely and am paying for it, but I'm going to try and take advantage of this situation to get pity from all my friends and any girl that I can". Yea, right now I'm pissed at you. I'm remembering you sitting across from me at Thai Taste and basically telling me all the things that you could to do me to get revenge on me if I went out with Jake, if I got the happiness that I deserve and that you obviously could never give me. That is completely and utterly selfish, especially since most of the four years I've known you I've pretty much wasted on waiting for you. Yea, you can sit there and say that you never asked for that, even though you did when it came down to Mickie, but though you never spoke the words, I knew what you wanted and you knew that I would do anything to make you happy. I fucking remember the day when I was at your house.. and you had finally told me that you were falling in love with Mickie.. you go so pissed at me for crying my heart out on your steps outside of your bedroom door. You had told me, better yet you had promised me that the second you started to fall for her, you would break up with her, b/c that wasn't something you wanted. But you sat there and told me that you wanted to try this with her, even though you could never love her as much as you loved me. That's when I started to fall out of love with you. If you really and truly loved someone... you wouldn't never put them through that. Then came the many fights that we ended up getting into when you wanted to fool around and I didn't, since you had a girlfriend and all (I guess the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is true since you've done it to all of your g/f's). Throughout your relationship with Mickie, whenever you felt like you were losing me (which you were, no matter what you said), you would tell me that I was the one that you wanted to end up with. Though you didn't know it, I was so thankful to finally get back to school. That's when I finally let go of everything you could say we ever had. I started talking to guys. Not just that Mike kid, but also that Kyle guy that I had statistics with, who I also drove home from school one weekend. I stopped wearing stockings because I didn't want you thinking about me like that anymore, especially after christmas break. Then when we started playing D&D at Jake's house and he and I started talking not too long after that. He's told me some of the things that you said about me behind my back, like I'm too much to handle or that i'm spoiled brat that's used to getting her way, which is beyond the truth. I know that you're a dramatic person, I've known that since before I met you. I know that sometimes you blow situations up to a bigger state than they really are, which you probably did with all the stuff that went on between you and mickie and you and me. The last time we talked face to face, you said that you're a changed person and that I need to look into that and reconsider our friendship. I've sat back and watched what's been going on and I've heard stuff from other people, and in all honesty.. you haven't changed that much at all. You're not the angry person you've been lately, but you're still that same guy I met 4 years ago who was sweet talking other girls while dating someone. I've read through your stuff on myspace, and most of your "important" things involve Mickie, as if you're trying to get to her. You just need to let go, espcially if you're talking to someone.
That's all I have to say for now. You can leave me ugly comments or try to get revenge on me, I personally don't care. My life is going great right now. I have a wonderful job, an amazing boyfriend, and I'm getting back in touch with friends that I lost over the past four years. I'm incredibly happy, but I won't be heading for a downfall like you've been waiting for mickie to hit.
Speaking of which, Jake and I are doing absolutely wonderful. When I get home on Saturday he wants to take me out to the movies, then later that night we'll get together with some people and go ghost hunting. Fun stuff. I just can't wait to see him :-). But I guess that's just me.. being all obsessive and whiney. Anyways, I asked my dad if it would be ok if Jake and I and maybe some friends went up to the mountain house for a weekend sometime this summer. He said that would be fine, I just have to call my grandma and pretty much schedule a weekend. So whoever else wants to go with us, just let me know. There's 5 bedrooms, 8 beds in all.
My panties are getting in a slight twist about something lately. I'm not upset or hurt by this in all means, but I am starting to get pissed about it. Wouldn't you if you spent 4 years of your life trying to make someone happy, and I mean really putting your all into it, and then have them say they're not lucky in love? You're fucking right you're not lucky when you treat every good girl you get like shit. You're not going to be lucky if you cheat on them, strip them of their friends, and then pretty much ditch them for the next best thing that comes along. Luck has nothing to do with that, so please stop saying it. Maybe you should put it in words along the lines of this.. "I've treated every girl I've gone out with like shit, so right now I'm lonely and am paying for it, but I'm going to try and take advantage of this situation to get pity from all my friends and any girl that I can". Yea, right now I'm pissed at you. I'm remembering you sitting across from me at Thai Taste and basically telling me all the things that you could to do me to get revenge on me if I went out with Jake, if I got the happiness that I deserve and that you obviously could never give me. That is completely and utterly selfish, especially since most of the four years I've known you I've pretty much wasted on waiting for you. Yea, you can sit there and say that you never asked for that, even though you did when it came down to Mickie, but though you never spoke the words, I knew what you wanted and you knew that I would do anything to make you happy. I fucking remember the day when I was at your house.. and you had finally told me that you were falling in love with Mickie.. you go so pissed at me for crying my heart out on your steps outside of your bedroom door. You had told me, better yet you had promised me that the second you started to fall for her, you would break up with her, b/c that wasn't something you wanted. But you sat there and told me that you wanted to try this with her, even though you could never love her as much as you loved me. That's when I started to fall out of love with you. If you really and truly loved someone... you wouldn't never put them through that. Then came the many fights that we ended up getting into when you wanted to fool around and I didn't, since you had a girlfriend and all (I guess the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is true since you've done it to all of your g/f's). Throughout your relationship with Mickie, whenever you felt like you were losing me (which you were, no matter what you said), you would tell me that I was the one that you wanted to end up with. Though you didn't know it, I was so thankful to finally get back to school. That's when I finally let go of everything you could say we ever had. I started talking to guys. Not just that Mike kid, but also that Kyle guy that I had statistics with, who I also drove home from school one weekend. I stopped wearing stockings because I didn't want you thinking about me like that anymore, especially after christmas break. Then when we started playing D&D at Jake's house and he and I started talking not too long after that. He's told me some of the things that you said about me behind my back, like I'm too much to handle or that i'm spoiled brat that's used to getting her way, which is beyond the truth. I know that you're a dramatic person, I've known that since before I met you. I know that sometimes you blow situations up to a bigger state than they really are, which you probably did with all the stuff that went on between you and mickie and you and me. The last time we talked face to face, you said that you're a changed person and that I need to look into that and reconsider our friendship. I've sat back and watched what's been going on and I've heard stuff from other people, and in all honesty.. you haven't changed that much at all. You're not the angry person you've been lately, but you're still that same guy I met 4 years ago who was sweet talking other girls while dating someone. I've read through your stuff on myspace, and most of your "important" things involve Mickie, as if you're trying to get to her. You just need to let go, espcially if you're talking to someone.
That's all I have to say for now. You can leave me ugly comments or try to get revenge on me, I personally don't care. My life is going great right now. I have a wonderful job, an amazing boyfriend, and I'm getting back in touch with friends that I lost over the past four years. I'm incredibly happy, but I won't be heading for a downfall like you've been waiting for mickie to hit.