(no subject)
I think that last nights events are confusing me, yet I feel better about the situation than I did earlier. I do believe that what ensued what out of the ordinary, even for circumstances that I have become accustomed to. I mean 2 hours on the phone... then finally he came over at 2:30 am for even more chat until almost 4. I'm better because we're getting this out of the way early. But I'm irritated that the situation lasted for as long as it did, much less happened in the first place. However, I dare not regret it do to the fact that the communication barrier has been broken. Over and over.
I mean, did he have me so trained that now that I'm out, I'm still behaving in these ways, reacting like this? To situations that have no resemblence to those that have previously wrecked havock on my heart. So that's how it went down... I've been trained to apologize for all things, my fault or no, and eventually feel like everything was in fact my fault anyways. Well I'm done feeling like that because that wasn't what went down. Not even close. I'm happy. Really happy. at least with that.
I finally feel like I can go back to school and things are going to be alright. That barrier has been broken. Finally. This is me breathing a sigh of relief. Mount Pleasant here I come, ready for my last year and I'm doing it right all the way. Definately spending more time with my friends. Hopefully they want to hang out with me too. I know I haven't been perfect, who is? Seems that in all my years of being alive I still haven't grasped onto the basics of friendship. And I thank the people who are still around. Thanks for dealing with me.
Time to pack up for school, returning on sunday. Laundry and packing. Post office and mall. Freakin' chick at AE didn't take off the ink tag on my tank top. Grrrr.
I mean, did he have me so trained that now that I'm out, I'm still behaving in these ways, reacting like this? To situations that have no resemblence to those that have previously wrecked havock on my heart. So that's how it went down... I've been trained to apologize for all things, my fault or no, and eventually feel like everything was in fact my fault anyways. Well I'm done feeling like that because that wasn't what went down. Not even close. I'm happy. Really happy. at least with that.
I finally feel like I can go back to school and things are going to be alright. That barrier has been broken. Finally. This is me breathing a sigh of relief. Mount Pleasant here I come, ready for my last year and I'm doing it right all the way. Definately spending more time with my friends. Hopefully they want to hang out with me too. I know I haven't been perfect, who is? Seems that in all my years of being alive I still haven't grasped onto the basics of friendship. And I thank the people who are still around. Thanks for dealing with me.
Time to pack up for school, returning on sunday. Laundry and packing. Post office and mall. Freakin' chick at AE didn't take off the ink tag on my tank top. Grrrr.