Fic- Try Again
Title- Try Again
Author- Fayth
Show/ Ship- Doctor Who. Ten/Rose
Rating- PG/PGF/YT
Genre- ANGST. BIG ASS ANGST.
Disclaimer- I have David Tennant impaled on my wall. Okay, so it's a picture and a pin. I can dream.
Summary- I had a dream last night. Doctor's words.
A/N- I refuse to excuse myself. It's Monday. It's cold, it's dark and it's raining. Perfect recipe for Angst.
Try again.
I had a dream last night.
I dreamt I lost you again.
We were alone on the Satellite, the place it all started to go wrong.
We were holding hands, laughing and joking, giving each other those meaningful glances that meant everything and nothing. Those glances that promised so much but delivered nothing.
It was just the two of us, the way it’s meant to be.
Then from out of nowhere you were snatched away by a bright light and gone.
My hands still feel empty.
But I looked for you.
I looked and looked but there was nothing where you had been, just emptiness.
I scaled from floor zero to floor 500, searching everywhere but there was nothing.
I stepped into a red room, a room full of red light with one long observation mirror. It looked out onto the end of the world and I saw a fleet of ships heading towards Earth. I knew I had to stop them but as I leaned forward I leaned on a switch on the console and switched on the comms system.
Screaming.
You screaming.
You were calling for me, screaming my name but I couldn’t find you, didn’t know where you were.
In front of me was a fleet and I had to save the world, I had to make the choice between you and the world.
I chose and I looked up just as your body floated past the observation window, hand raised in a macabre farewell.
I lost you.
I railed that it wasn’t fair; that I should get to try again.
And I did.
We were alone on the Satellite, the place where it all started to go wrong.
We were holding hands, laughing and joking, giving each other those meaningful glances that meant everything and nothing.
Then from out of nowhere you were snatched away by a bright light and gone.
I didn’t hesitate this time and ran for the lift, pressing all of the buttons to find you.
You were on the observation deck crying, looking out at the ruins of the Earth. The Earth that I’d let die to find you.
“We were so busy saving ourselves that no one watched it go.”
You blamed me.
I lost you.
I cursed the Time Lords and the universe that it wasn’t fair, that I should get to try again.
And I did.
We were alone on the Satellite, the place where it all started to go wrong.
This time I wouldn’t let go of your hand and we ran away from the fleet and from the voices and the death march. We ran and ran, hearing them behind us, chasing, always chasing and I reached for the controls to close the bulkhead.
I let go, just for a second, and turned and you were trapped behind the bulkhead; the bulkhead that I had closed and it was too late.
I lost you.
I screamed, banging my fists on the doors, yelling that I should get to try again.
And I did.
We were alone on the Satellite, the place where it all started to go wrong.
I held your hand tight and headed for the TARDIS. We would be safe there. I knew it and I held out the sonic screwdriver on the lookout for attack.
It came in the guise of a friend. Sarah-Jane and Reinette, holding hands walked to you and pulled you away, whispering lies and heart-break into your ears.
I swore it wasn’t true, begged you to believe me but you let go of my hand and the beast took you, slamming you through the bulkhead and into the black hole.
I lost you.
I cried for you, for me, for the universe and begged for another chance to try again.
And I did.
We were alone on the Satellite, the place where it all started to go wrong.
I held you in my arms this time with no chance to lose you; I swore that we wouldn’t be separated.
Never ever.
Werewolves snarled but I wouldn’t let you go, they shredded my back but you were safe in my embrace and all was fine.
My body stopped the disease from touching you, warping my face and hands but I held on.
Slitheen fought with Krillitanes and my jacket burned with oil.
The Wire sucked the faces off the clowns leaving their clockwork faces exposed and still I wouldn’t let go.
Then they came.
I shielded you with my body as they filtered into the room, guns blazing and lasers pulsing. One side got the upper hand then the other, back and forth no end but I wouldn’t let go as the battle echoed all around.
White hot heat filled the room and wind howled, sucking them all in. We fell and you slipped from my hands.
I wouldn’t let go this time, I held on and we were dragged into the Void.
There was nothing.
No darkness, no light, no up, no down.
But I was with you and it was all right, You told me that we’d be together forever and I believed and nothing could hurt you and nothing could separate us.
We were holding hands, laughing and joking, giving each other those meaningful glances that meant everything and nothing.
It was just the two of us, the way it’s meant to be.
Then I woke up.
My hands still feel empty.
Because I lost you and I don’t get to try again.