Dear Fayth...
Dear Fayth,
It has come to our attention that you are clearly losing your mind. We have warned you time and again that you are impressionable and are quite likely to proscribe to any number of deranged theories; which is why we were very dubious about your initial forays into the internet.
They said that the Internet was a way for like-minded individuals to meet. We said 'oh good Lord there can not possibly be anyone like you'.
We were wrong. In fact there are many like you and most of them need some sort of certification to allowed out in public.
However their strange ways made you feel happier and a lot more welcome and we relaxed our guard somewhat when we weren't murdered in our beds.
Yes, we fully realize that it was a mistake now. Hindsight and all that.
That said, recent events have caused some consternation.
To be honest we just figured it was a book- no harm ever came from reading a book, right? (Yes, we have heard of the Mummy.... and meine Kampf- our literary pursuits aren't the issue here.) We just figured that it was a gradual escalation of your interests in all things practical. we didn't realize that you were slowly descended into madness.
Neil Strauss's book Emergency just seemed like any other lunch time read. We had no idea that it was a subtle infiltration of the sense luring you into the idea that we were about to embark on a one way ride to Armageddon and the apocalypse.
We also had no idea that you figured that you just weren't ready to face those hoards of people who wanted what you had and had decided to get ready to survive.
Perhaps the buying of every Chris Ryan and Ray Mears book on survival was a clue, but we just thought you were being interested in the techniques. When you bought that survival tin we grinned at the thought of old camping trips and assumed you were plagued with nostalgia- not lunacy.
BUT having become a little concerned over the sudden interest on archery and collecting knives we went through your internet history. Rifle range? Survivalist sites? Bushcraft courses? Wilderness training??
Have you run mad? Are you completely paranoid?
There is no government conspiracy, there will be no zombie uprising and the current economic crisis will not manifest in a complete breakdown of law and order culminating in nuclear war and ensuring that the post-apocalyptic world will be a Dollhouse like fight for survival.
We have been friends for many years and regret that we have to inform you of your folly in this manner but it has to be said:
You are, in fact insane and should not be allowed near ebay with a credit card.
Now, put the book down, stop searching for one man tents and underground bunkers and go read some fanfic.
Yours Sincerely,
Your Brain.
It has come to our attention that you are clearly losing your mind. We have warned you time and again that you are impressionable and are quite likely to proscribe to any number of deranged theories; which is why we were very dubious about your initial forays into the internet.
They said that the Internet was a way for like-minded individuals to meet. We said 'oh good Lord there can not possibly be anyone like you'.
We were wrong. In fact there are many like you and most of them need some sort of certification to allowed out in public.
However their strange ways made you feel happier and a lot more welcome and we relaxed our guard somewhat when we weren't murdered in our beds.
Yes, we fully realize that it was a mistake now. Hindsight and all that.
That said, recent events have caused some consternation.
To be honest we just figured it was a book- no harm ever came from reading a book, right? (Yes, we have heard of the Mummy.... and meine Kampf- our literary pursuits aren't the issue here.) We just figured that it was a gradual escalation of your interests in all things practical. we didn't realize that you were slowly descended into madness.
Neil Strauss's book Emergency just seemed like any other lunch time read. We had no idea that it was a subtle infiltration of the sense luring you into the idea that we were about to embark on a one way ride to Armageddon and the apocalypse.
We also had no idea that you figured that you just weren't ready to face those hoards of people who wanted what you had and had decided to get ready to survive.
Perhaps the buying of every Chris Ryan and Ray Mears book on survival was a clue, but we just thought you were being interested in the techniques. When you bought that survival tin we grinned at the thought of old camping trips and assumed you were plagued with nostalgia- not lunacy.
BUT having become a little concerned over the sudden interest on archery and collecting knives we went through your internet history. Rifle range? Survivalist sites? Bushcraft courses? Wilderness training??
Have you run mad? Are you completely paranoid?
There is no government conspiracy, there will be no zombie uprising and the current economic crisis will not manifest in a complete breakdown of law and order culminating in nuclear war and ensuring that the post-apocalyptic world will be a Dollhouse like fight for survival.
We have been friends for many years and regret that we have to inform you of your folly in this manner but it has to be said:
You are, in fact insane and should not be allowed near ebay with a credit card.
Now, put the book down, stop searching for one man tents and underground bunkers and go read some fanfic.
Yours Sincerely,
Your Brain.