Feels. many many Feels.
☼ Legit read 100k of Kirk/Spock reboot fic yesterday. And no, I had never read any before then, nor had any real desire to and it's all due to the fact that I dreamed about them having ALL THE FUCKING FEELS IN THE WORLD. I cannot with my brain, you guys. I actually woke up feeling ridiculously overwhelmed by love and pride and desperation and fear and I was crying. FROM A FANDOM DREAM. A FANDOM I WAS NOT A PART OF AT THE TIME, NOR HAD AN INCLINATION TO JOIN BASED ON A FILM I SAW A MONTH AGO. ONCE. Someone should examine my brain. I don't understand how it works any more.
This was not the post I intended to follow up the mini!pie one with. (But if anyone has recs for long fic that is reboot Kirk/Spock, I would, ahem, not be ungrateful)
☼ WTF it just started raining.
☼ I joined pulped_fictions today in the hopes to recapture my will to write, or at least designate a set time in the week to not go out and sit at home and do something I love, but can never seem to feel awake enough for.
☼ Weight loss goal for year? Still looking unattainable. Reasoning? I cannot take care of my own finances. Solution? Stop going out for food twice to three times a week. Seriously, Heather. Just. Stop. You don't eat anywhere healthy, you always feel nausea afterwards, and you feel like shit a day later when you realize you spent $20 to feel that way. When it stops being fun, it's time to stop doing it. You have done, and recently, much more enjoyable activities with people in the past month that didn't involve bleeding yourself dry right around the time bills come due. Plus gas is a bitch enough right now without unnecessary spending.
☼ My best friend had a serious bout of depression recently, all boy/job related, and has finally made it to the other side. But she's moving back home as she can no longer afford her rent, utilities, shopping expenses and gas costs. I promised I'd help her pack.
Her apartment looked like someone threw up a dumpsters worth of garbage in it. It smelled as such too. She had three trash bags full of empty milk jugs. Her sink was full of dishes the food hadn't been scraped from. I don't think her closet or dresser had any clothes in it whatsoever. And I was terrified to open her refrigerator because there was a smell. Yes. A smell. I didn't even need to open the damn door.
We ended up making a run for a big bottle of dish soap, new sponges, extra trash bags, rubber gloves and a gel air freshener. All we honestly managed to do was remove the trash from her living room.
This would sound impressive if she didn't live in what amounted to a two room apartment with a bathroom you can't really stand in and a kitchen that was just as narrow and functioned as a tiny hall.
I feel like the smell of the place clung to me when I left.
I can't even judge her for this. Depression blows. But OMG it was not at all what I expected when I went over. She said messy. She did not say disastrous to near hoarder extent. But she was so damn grateful I came over and helped her start because it was overwhelming her completely, and I could see why.
☼ I printed out a few pics of me and the boy the other day. WORTH IT. They're hanging up on my mirror until I can be bothered to rummage around my house for some twine and clothes pins so I can hang them over my window. I miss his stupid big-nosed face. I only really see him twice to three times a week, tops. It's not that we don't talk in the interim, but I really, strongly miss being cuddled by him and his really, horrible jokes.
☼ Decorating, baking and looking at pretty summer dresses has pretty much become my status quo in terms of hobbies. I keep seeing ideas for decorating apartments and houses and spend endless hours just daydreaming about getting my own place (possibly/preferably with the boy) so I can have my own space (sort of re: roommate) to make truly my own. I'm a little bit bohemian at heart, but everything I have right now doesn't scream that because everything I own was purchased for me, or is in desperate need of a new paint job. Let us not discuss how my desk, which is really quite lovely, has nail polish all over the surface of it.
What I'm really excited about is the idea of customized bookshelves. I currently own two that don't even fit all my books, or display them nicely.
And picture displays. I've just read about some really unique ways to display your photos which tickle me in every way.
Floral arrangements is another thing I've developed an avid amount of interest in as well, possibly because it's almost spring, possibly because flowers just make everything pretty. If tulips weren't so expensive I'd have some on my desk in my room right this second because tulips have been, and always will be, one of my favorite, and completely historically insane, flowers.
Currently, I'm trying to justify purchasing a $20 navy blue polka dot dress from Target, and a pair of oxfords, should I ever find a pair that's under $40, BECAUSE CUTENESS.
This last week alone I made Nutella Brownies, which were just about the most nauseatingly rich and wonderful brownies I have ever made from scratch, a box, or ever, and mini peach pies, which I posted a picture of two days prior and may make some more of today as it's gross outside and baking is a trusty standby when you're already having a stupendously shitty day, or week in my case, and can see no better justification.
Because pie never needs justification.
This entry was originally posted at http://faynia.dreamwidth.org/310877.html. Please comment there using OpenID. (comments:
)
This was not the post I intended to follow up the mini!pie one with. (But if anyone has recs for long fic that is reboot Kirk/Spock, I would, ahem, not be ungrateful)
☼ WTF it just started raining.
☼ I joined pulped_fictions today in the hopes to recapture my will to write, or at least designate a set time in the week to not go out and sit at home and do something I love, but can never seem to feel awake enough for.
☼ Weight loss goal for year? Still looking unattainable. Reasoning? I cannot take care of my own finances. Solution? Stop going out for food twice to three times a week. Seriously, Heather. Just. Stop. You don't eat anywhere healthy, you always feel nausea afterwards, and you feel like shit a day later when you realize you spent $20 to feel that way. When it stops being fun, it's time to stop doing it. You have done, and recently, much more enjoyable activities with people in the past month that didn't involve bleeding yourself dry right around the time bills come due. Plus gas is a bitch enough right now without unnecessary spending.
☼ My best friend had a serious bout of depression recently, all boy/job related, and has finally made it to the other side. But she's moving back home as she can no longer afford her rent, utilities, shopping expenses and gas costs. I promised I'd help her pack.
Her apartment looked like someone threw up a dumpsters worth of garbage in it. It smelled as such too. She had three trash bags full of empty milk jugs. Her sink was full of dishes the food hadn't been scraped from. I don't think her closet or dresser had any clothes in it whatsoever. And I was terrified to open her refrigerator because there was a smell. Yes. A smell. I didn't even need to open the damn door.
We ended up making a run for a big bottle of dish soap, new sponges, extra trash bags, rubber gloves and a gel air freshener. All we honestly managed to do was remove the trash from her living room.
This would sound impressive if she didn't live in what amounted to a two room apartment with a bathroom you can't really stand in and a kitchen that was just as narrow and functioned as a tiny hall.
I feel like the smell of the place clung to me when I left.
I can't even judge her for this. Depression blows. But OMG it was not at all what I expected when I went over. She said messy. She did not say disastrous to near hoarder extent. But she was so damn grateful I came over and helped her start because it was overwhelming her completely, and I could see why.
☼ I printed out a few pics of me and the boy the other day. WORTH IT. They're hanging up on my mirror until I can be bothered to rummage around my house for some twine and clothes pins so I can hang them over my window. I miss his stupid big-nosed face. I only really see him twice to three times a week, tops. It's not that we don't talk in the interim, but I really, strongly miss being cuddled by him and his really, horrible jokes.
☼ Decorating, baking and looking at pretty summer dresses has pretty much become my status quo in terms of hobbies. I keep seeing ideas for decorating apartments and houses and spend endless hours just daydreaming about getting my own place (possibly/preferably with the boy) so I can have my own space (sort of re: roommate) to make truly my own. I'm a little bit bohemian at heart, but everything I have right now doesn't scream that because everything I own was purchased for me, or is in desperate need of a new paint job. Let us not discuss how my desk, which is really quite lovely, has nail polish all over the surface of it.
What I'm really excited about is the idea of customized bookshelves. I currently own two that don't even fit all my books, or display them nicely.
And picture displays. I've just read about some really unique ways to display your photos which tickle me in every way.
Floral arrangements is another thing I've developed an avid amount of interest in as well, possibly because it's almost spring, possibly because flowers just make everything pretty. If tulips weren't so expensive I'd have some on my desk in my room right this second because tulips have been, and always will be, one of my favorite, and completely historically insane, flowers.
Currently, I'm trying to justify purchasing a $20 navy blue polka dot dress from Target, and a pair of oxfords, should I ever find a pair that's under $40, BECAUSE CUTENESS.
This last week alone I made Nutella Brownies, which were just about the most nauseatingly rich and wonderful brownies I have ever made from scratch, a box, or ever, and mini peach pies, which I posted a picture of two days prior and may make some more of today as it's gross outside and baking is a trusty standby when you're already having a stupendously shitty day, or week in my case, and can see no better justification.
Because pie never needs justification.
This entry was originally posted at http://faynia.dreamwidth.org/310877.html. Please comment there using OpenID. (comments:
)