♑ 006; > Text

[faygot]

I GuEsS
I AiN'T GoT AnY OtHeR ShIt tO Be fRoNtIn
At yOu mOtHeRfUcKeRs eXcEpT
I'M ReAlLy fUcKiN SoRrY.
So mOtHeRfUcKiN SoRrY.
I DoNe uNdErStAnD If yOu mOtHeRfUcKeRs
AiN'T WaNtIn tO Be sPeAkIn tO Me aGaIn.
It's cOoL.
I'M GoNnA Be tRyIn mY FuCkInG HaRdEsT
To kEeP ThIs sHiT FrOm hApPeNiN AgAiN.
If yOu pEoPlE CaN DiG ThAt.

Comments

[Text]

[derparcana]

Gamzee-san, youre back :O
its ok, you didnt kill me.
its Ryoji!
ill heal eventually and it could be a lot worse
but just so you know... i dont blame you.
you werent yourself

Wataru-san and Karkat-san stopped you and did what i couldnt do... and youre apologizing
as far as im concerned, that is a lot better
but i have to say im more worried about you than the others
im keeping an eye on Vriska-chan and making sure she doesnt do something to hurt you or get revenge or anything...
but Terezi-san is not going to want me talking to you.

but i dont care! i want to help :(
how are you?? is there anything i can do?

[Text]

[faygot]

I'M AlL Up tHiNkIn i wAs mOrE Me tHaT NiGhT
ThAn i eVeR DoNe bEeN In sWeEpS.
BuT I AiN'T GoNnA Be lIkE ThOsE MoThErFuCkErS EvEr aGaIn.
WhAt tHeY DiD...
It aIn't hOw yOu sUpPoSe tO Be gEtTiNg yOuR BeLiEf oN
FoR ThE MoThErFuCkInG MiRaClEs aNd tHe mIrThFuL OnEs.
AnD.
I DoN'T KnOw.
I NeEdIn tO Be sEeIn hOw hArSh aLl mY BrOs aRe wItH Me
AnD ThEn i cAn bE TrYiN To gEt mY FiX On fOr tHaT StUfF.
GoTtA Be a wAy tO FiX ThAt sHiT, yEaH?
GoTtA Be.

[Video]

[derparcana]

[ ... He flicks the feed over to video to make sure Gamzee can see his smile, and that he is alright. His bandages by now are only necessary in a few places and are under his clothing, and he happened to get a new scarf with a cute little ∞ symbol on it. (Or is it an 8...?) Otherwise, it's the same as his old one. ]

... There's always a way, if you're willing to try.

The difference... between being what you're 'meant' to be... and what you're feeling now? You know... it's that you're choosing to want to be like this. To not do that sort of thing. ... I understand.

[Video]

[faygot]

[He hesitates for a long while, before he switches over to video as well. Congrats, Royji, have one Gamzee looking at you -- sans customary make-up and cheerful expression but with the addition of some stellar bags under his eyes. Haha, what is sleep, man?]

You understand... does that be meanin' you've got some angry montherfuckers in your think pan as well?

[Video]

[derparcana]

... To be honest? I do. I usually try not to tell people about who I am--what I am, but... you understand, so I think it's okay.

[ A pause. A breath. ]

I was created by humans, in a laboratory. When I came into existence, the process was interrupted and I escaped. I... killed a lot of people. At least two of my friends no longer have guardians because of what I did.

[ This is hard for him, obviously, but he bravely presses on for the sake of... trying to help him. ] The entire reason I came into being; my sole purpose is to facilitate the arrival of a Goddess named Nyx. To ensure all life will vanish... to kill anything that gets in my way.

Eventually... it's inevitable. I'll become nothing more than a vessel for her and... something unrecognizable. I will kill everyone I care about. That's... the only reason I even exist. Because that's what I am--Death itself

[Video]

[faygot]

[He just sits there and listens, as attentive as he can be. It's still a lot though. A lot of confusing information to take in for a troll who is not that good at processing things on the best of days and now, with his head full of thoughts, it ain't easy.

But he tries! Tries so hard to fit all of Ryoji's words together until they make sense to him.

And then he starts talking too. Because he thinks Ryoji might get it. It's motherfucking story time in here.]I understand, I think. We pretty similar motherfuckers, aren't we

[Video]

[derparcana]

[ It is only fair he pays Gamzee the same respect. He dutifully listens and then simply nods--they... were VERY alike, yes. After a moment, a short, forced laugh escapes him. ]

... That sounds a lot like the Fall.

[ He... understands, actually. Quite a bit. ] Nyx... wants to 'help' humans because she believes their desire is, deep down, to die. And that by granting the entirety of all life that, she's... giving them what they're all secretly hoping for. It's... not my idea of paradise, either.

But... you can figure it out, Gamzee-san. I believe that. You have to give it some time. You've... learned from this, you know? There's always hope for change as long as you're aware of what's going on. And... you've got miles ahead of me as far as options.

Even if you don't know what they are just yet.

[ And he manages a small, albeit forced, smile. ]

[Video]

[faygot]

If it is bein' any fucking comfort, I think you'll be able to sort shit out too. Tell that Nyx sis she can sit her fucking bad self down someplace else while you get your fuckin' chill on with your homies. And maybe you can all up tell her that humans ain't down with being killed.

[He smiles a little. It is genuine, just tired.]

and I don't think you all up be needin' to call me -san. Wataru done tried to explain that shit to me, but I ain't really ever got it. I ain't deservin' of respect like that. You can just be callin' me Gamzee, yeah? And maybe if you wouldn't be mindin' puttin' up with me, you could toss in your bad shit with mine and we could chill. Be homies maybe.

[Video]

[derparcana]

... Thanks, Gamzee-kun.

[ ... His smile is a bit more genuine now, too. And apparently, Ryoji cannot not nickname people with honorifics. ]

It's not putting up with you! You're pretty tired, right...? Maybe we can do something fun?

[Video]

[faygot]

Something fun? Like what, bro?

[Video]

[derparcana]

Well...

[ A pause, considering. ] What do you like to do, Gamzee-kun?

[Video]

[faygot]

Normally, I like chillin' on the horn pile. Gettin' my motherfuckin' zone on, you know. And some other shit that I can't really all up be doin' here, cause we ain't be possessin' no beaches.

[Video]

[derparcana]

[ ... Hmmm. ]

It would be kind of hard to have a beach here, I guess...

[ Then, an idea. ] Well, would it be alright if I just came over? I'm sure we can figure out something to do from there, even if it's just to hang out.

[Video]

[faygot]

Too bad. Bein' on a beach is like a motherfuckin' miracle.

[Oh gosh, someone who still wants to hang out with him despite what he has done, oh man oh god oh man.]

That'd be dope, bro. I mean, if you are chill with that bein', I'm down with it too.

[Video]

[derparcana]

Of course I'm okay with it. Why wouldn't I be? And it would be kind of nice... we have a forest in here, though, so hey! Maybe they'll make one sometime.

[ I mean, sure, you tried to kill him but. He's cool with it. Gamzee is okay now. He's... making choices. That makes him different. ]

Where are you, anyway?

[Video]

[faygot]

I'm livin' in Wataru's hive now. Uhm, I ain't know exactly where it is bein'. There's a whole lot of these little hives in a row, and another row of these fuckers across the way. I guess it is sorta bein' like a motherfuckin' lawnring?