Happy 2nd Birthday :D
I've been writing this post for a few days now, mainly so I can get it right as it's a rare public post.
So, my journal is 2 years old today! I honestly didn't think my blogging would become such a huge part of my life .. neither did I expect to meet some wonderful people on here either *mwah* As I briefly covered my first year last year, I thought I'd just cover the past 12 months.
It's been one of the biggest rollercoasters emotionally that I've ever experienced. The highs have been incredible and the lows have been pretty close to rock bottom (though not as close as I've known them).
I think one of the lowest points for me was when Jim was in hospital. During those 2 months he was in there, I found that there are so many kind people in this world. Many of his friends gave me support, some of them I'd never met and some I've only met once. It touched me beyond belief. I also discovered who my friends were too, people who I thought would be there for me through thick and thin. When I approached them afterwards, they simply said that they thought I knew they were there for me. Whilst this may be true, I didn't (and still don't) see why they sat back and said nothing to me when knowing the situation. I'm the sort of person who needs to be shown support when something like this happens, and it's the people who should've known this that seemed to sit back. Maybe it's me that sees things the wrong way when friendship is concerned, but it hurt me in so many ways.
There's also been 4 members of my family have hospital stays too this past year. My aunt had a stroke last October, mum was briefly in just before Christmas with chest pains, my dad has been in twice with an abscess on his stump (for those unaware, he has an artificial leg) and my great uncle went in with cancer. Unfortunately my Great Uncle never came out of hospital, which was a shock to us all as none of us knew he was actually ill until a couple of days before he died.
One of the most life changing events for me was actually my holiday this year. I was in a real mess when I got on the coach to London, but by the time I got to London I knew what I needed to do. During the week I spent away, decisions about my future were made and a small warning on this very journal was made letting people know that there could be some upset over the coming weeks. Looking back, I don't think many people took much notice of it at the time. 2 songs helped out a great deal on the journey down. Color Me Badd's I Remember and a Journey South cover version of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For ... it really opened my eyes to things in my life and how I was living things. So I come back home, give it a week and the first change is made ....
I bid my friendship to David a farewell. It was something that I knew I needed to do before my holiday, but the break gave me what I needed to go through with it. It was far from an easy decision to carry through, but as my email to him (and subsequent post) said .. I felt that we had different ideas of friendship and that the difference between us had become too much. It also turns out that this was taken the wrong way and that I'd apparently placed the blame onto him. As this is a public post I will make this clear now .. THIS IS NOT THE CASE! I'm not blaming him for it at all and I'm not really blaming myself either. I don't believe that blame lies with either party all the time, it was the whole situation ... the history that was affecting the present. I'm not going to go into any further details on this, the internet isn't the place. I had my chance to go into detail with him and I didn't do it .. on the same token the offer was made for him to hear me out and it was taken up (which I don't blame him for). Do I regret doing it? No, I regret not going into more detail but don't regret walking away. Do I miss him? Can't really answer this one as it's not that black and white ... I wonder how he's doing, what he's getting up to and ... well, the rest is for me to know. But there's aspects of the time we knew each other that I don't miss. The whole friendship has actually made me a stronger person, a changed person ... not sure if these are for the better or not, but time will tell.
Fast forwarding a few weeks comes to the end of May and my decision to call things a day with Jim. He'd been on holiday and I realised over those few weeks that my feelings towards him weren't as they should be. That was tough news to deliver but was for the best. Some things you can't ignore and your feelings towards someone is one of those things. We're still friends, still chat online and talk on the phone ... I guess when your good friends to start with then it's easier to carry on with that. I'm really looking forward to August too when I go to London to spend time with him.
So what have the highlights been I hear you all ask! Where would you like me to start??
There was the wicked Terrorvision gig in Sheffield last August! That was one helluva night and so fab to see the lads, finally meet _mysteria_ & freakspawn ... and naturally meeting the band afterwards too :D October saw probably the best Chesney gig I've been too in Leeds .. naturally the highlight there was grabbing his arse not once but twice (ooh, I'm so naughty .. but he wasn't complaining!). January saw my first "2 gigs in 2 days" experience with The Almighty in London & Ricky Warwick in Nottingham .. man was I knackered after that one! But it was well worth it, especially meeting Ricky again *sigh* Next gigs were Take That .. first one on May 4th and second one on May 22nd - they were fan-bloody-tastic and I'm sooo pleased now that I got the chance to go. June 3rd found me in Leeds for my Diabetes UK walk and night out. That was a fantastic day/night .. and raising £200 helped too. Next, of course, was the Def Leppard weekend - has to be the highlight of the year so far!! Last on my list was Luan's Hen Weekend, which is actually a first for me as I've never been on one before.
There's a few friends I want to thank too for helping make this past year so memorable. Dawn, Sarah P, Sarah G, Char, Cheryl, Martin, Steve and the people below .....
Lee for just being him (photo taken at the Whitby Goth Weekend)
_mysteria_ & freakspawn for a great night at Terrorvision
Jilly & Claire for some memorable nights out and for being great mates
Jim for just being one sound guy
Songs to describe the past year?? Well, there's many but the ones that stand out are:
James - Laid
Drowning Pool - Sermon
U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
So what's the next 12 months going to hold?? Well, there's some firsts ahead of me .... my first Rugby League match in a few weeks with Martin, my first visit to Jongleurs for my 30th and possible my first Kite Fest/Fly-in in August. Also got a weekend away in Birmingham with Jilly to look forward to and Luan & Dave's wedding do in October. No gigs planned as yet, but no doubt something will crop up and may even end up with a birthday gig this year (am hoping for Def Leppard or Aerosmith LOL).
Here''s to the next 12 months!
So, my journal is 2 years old today! I honestly didn't think my blogging would become such a huge part of my life .. neither did I expect to meet some wonderful people on here either *mwah* As I briefly covered my first year last year, I thought I'd just cover the past 12 months.
It's been one of the biggest rollercoasters emotionally that I've ever experienced. The highs have been incredible and the lows have been pretty close to rock bottom (though not as close as I've known them).
I think one of the lowest points for me was when Jim was in hospital. During those 2 months he was in there, I found that there are so many kind people in this world. Many of his friends gave me support, some of them I'd never met and some I've only met once. It touched me beyond belief. I also discovered who my friends were too, people who I thought would be there for me through thick and thin. When I approached them afterwards, they simply said that they thought I knew they were there for me. Whilst this may be true, I didn't (and still don't) see why they sat back and said nothing to me when knowing the situation. I'm the sort of person who needs to be shown support when something like this happens, and it's the people who should've known this that seemed to sit back. Maybe it's me that sees things the wrong way when friendship is concerned, but it hurt me in so many ways.
There's also been 4 members of my family have hospital stays too this past year. My aunt had a stroke last October, mum was briefly in just before Christmas with chest pains, my dad has been in twice with an abscess on his stump (for those unaware, he has an artificial leg) and my great uncle went in with cancer. Unfortunately my Great Uncle never came out of hospital, which was a shock to us all as none of us knew he was actually ill until a couple of days before he died.
One of the most life changing events for me was actually my holiday this year. I was in a real mess when I got on the coach to London, but by the time I got to London I knew what I needed to do. During the week I spent away, decisions about my future were made and a small warning on this very journal was made letting people know that there could be some upset over the coming weeks. Looking back, I don't think many people took much notice of it at the time. 2 songs helped out a great deal on the journey down. Color Me Badd's I Remember and a Journey South cover version of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For ... it really opened my eyes to things in my life and how I was living things. So I come back home, give it a week and the first change is made ....
I bid my friendship to David a farewell. It was something that I knew I needed to do before my holiday, but the break gave me what I needed to go through with it. It was far from an easy decision to carry through, but as my email to him (and subsequent post) said .. I felt that we had different ideas of friendship and that the difference between us had become too much. It also turns out that this was taken the wrong way and that I'd apparently placed the blame onto him. As this is a public post I will make this clear now .. THIS IS NOT THE CASE! I'm not blaming him for it at all and I'm not really blaming myself either. I don't believe that blame lies with either party all the time, it was the whole situation ... the history that was affecting the present. I'm not going to go into any further details on this, the internet isn't the place. I had my chance to go into detail with him and I didn't do it .. on the same token the offer was made for him to hear me out and it was taken up (which I don't blame him for). Do I regret doing it? No, I regret not going into more detail but don't regret walking away. Do I miss him? Can't really answer this one as it's not that black and white ... I wonder how he's doing, what he's getting up to and ... well, the rest is for me to know. But there's aspects of the time we knew each other that I don't miss. The whole friendship has actually made me a stronger person, a changed person ... not sure if these are for the better or not, but time will tell.
Fast forwarding a few weeks comes to the end of May and my decision to call things a day with Jim. He'd been on holiday and I realised over those few weeks that my feelings towards him weren't as they should be. That was tough news to deliver but was for the best. Some things you can't ignore and your feelings towards someone is one of those things. We're still friends, still chat online and talk on the phone ... I guess when your good friends to start with then it's easier to carry on with that. I'm really looking forward to August too when I go to London to spend time with him.
So what have the highlights been I hear you all ask! Where would you like me to start??
There was the wicked Terrorvision gig in Sheffield last August! That was one helluva night and so fab to see the lads, finally meet _mysteria_ & freakspawn ... and naturally meeting the band afterwards too :D October saw probably the best Chesney gig I've been too in Leeds .. naturally the highlight there was grabbing his arse not once but twice (ooh, I'm so naughty .. but he wasn't complaining!). January saw my first "2 gigs in 2 days" experience with The Almighty in London & Ricky Warwick in Nottingham .. man was I knackered after that one! But it was well worth it, especially meeting Ricky again *sigh* Next gigs were Take That .. first one on May 4th and second one on May 22nd - they were fan-bloody-tastic and I'm sooo pleased now that I got the chance to go. June 3rd found me in Leeds for my Diabetes UK walk and night out. That was a fantastic day/night .. and raising £200 helped too. Next, of course, was the Def Leppard weekend - has to be the highlight of the year so far!! Last on my list was Luan's Hen Weekend, which is actually a first for me as I've never been on one before.
There's a few friends I want to thank too for helping make this past year so memorable. Dawn, Sarah P, Sarah G, Char, Cheryl, Martin, Steve and the people below .....
Lee for just being him (photo taken at the Whitby Goth Weekend)
_mysteria_ & freakspawn for a great night at Terrorvision
Jilly & Claire for some memorable nights out and for being great mates
Jim for just being one sound guy
Songs to describe the past year?? Well, there's many but the ones that stand out are:
James - Laid
Drowning Pool - Sermon
U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
So what's the next 12 months going to hold?? Well, there's some firsts ahead of me .... my first Rugby League match in a few weeks with Martin, my first visit to Jongleurs for my 30th and possible my first Kite Fest/Fly-in in August. Also got a weekend away in Birmingham with Jilly to look forward to and Luan & Dave's wedding do in October. No gigs planned as yet, but no doubt something will crop up and may even end up with a birthday gig this year (am hoping for Def Leppard or Aerosmith LOL).
Here''s to the next 12 months!