not to be.
around the house:
things are going crazy over here at the Rhode house. there are beds and matresses everywheres and people sleeping everywhere except in their rooms. hanna got kicked out of her room upstairs, and that room is now mom and dad's room/ master bath + balcony, and then the parents knocked down a wall that seperated foyer from living room, and so stuff is everywhere from that. carpets are being put in everywhere, becca is taking my room so i've been trying to sort through all my crap while people are bringing furniture in and out of my room and everyone's rooms. the twins room is completely packed with bookcases and bunks and desks, it is supposed to become the new office... i dont know what to do w/ myself. toooo much confusion.
personally:
i cant describe how i've been feeling lately. getting replaced in my family and rushed to move out. ouch. hah. i was moving a huge chest thing up the stairs w/ parents and my thumb got smashed pretty hard, so its nice and purple and hurts badly. i've been reading the bible lately. and poisonwood bible, which is a cool book. i am a lonely person lately, as everyone is off either at college or with their lovers n friends/families. i think i get a high out of being sad though so i guess its a good thing? i had to go through all my highschool crap today and throw away stuff. man, so so so many memories. but they're in the garbage now. i still have about 5 or 6 dreams a day/night of different ways of me dying, so thats extremely hopeful and good for me. not really good for me. hm what else. i feel like a whale. my legs are super smooth and shaved for absoulutely no reason. thought i would hang with someone tonight but surprise.
other:
the sky is falling, thousands of people are dying every day, families hate each other, and thats life. on a different level, i can move into our house in baton rouge any time now, i gots to find a job there. christine is super lonely, as is probably everyone i know. in one way or another. tomorrow is justin's birthday. man i found all my stuff from the health class we had together, and i laughed. it was a good thing. keep it together. okay now i'm just pissed. so i gotta go hit something and cry. everythings gonna be okay.