(no subject)
Title: Dictation (2/?)
Pairing: Taemin x Minho (main) other pairings are implied
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Taemin is a perfect student, trying to find his place in his life all alone in a university. With everyone expecting too much from him, he finds release in the most unconvential way. He finds solace in the form of a man called Choi Minho who introduces him to a life of pleasure and pain and a promise of happiness. But this form of salvation also has his secrets that can destroy them both.
story is in Taemin's pov.
A/N : This story depicts the BDSM lifestyle. You will read sexual situations between these two idols as “characters ” in this story. If you are uncomfortable with your ‘oppar’ doing sexytime and ‘bdsm’ in general then please do not read this. If you are curious, then go on- don’t tell me i did not warn you. The story does not aim to objectify both taemin and minho as sexual objects. I respect them, i really do. Its just that, i want them as characters for this story. That is all. Enjoy.
Chapter Two
“tonight, 6pm . at the library”
It was nothing really. Just a short and innocent and invitation between friends. If this was just any other person, i would simply proceed to eating and ignore it. But the one who sent this is not just any other person. Aside from the fact that he is the world famous swimmer, Choi minho. Everyone’s star senior. But most of all, he is my Master. By some twist of fate, he owns my body and every pleasure must stem from him. I feel my body tremble as i remember what he did to me. How he teased me. Its exciting, but i cringe at the thought of what we could do. What happened if we reached that point.
“ the hell! You are not even listening to me!” Jonghyun accused me and i turn my attention to him, acting like im all innocent and that i was actually listening the whole time. But im not. How can i do that? When my head is swimming with thoughts of that night?
“ im listening-” i tell him calmly and he studies me for a second before launching on his other story about this girl he met at a bar. I wa slistening for the first ten seconds but i zoned out again as i hear my phone ring.
Like a crazy person, i almost jumped but managed to place it on my ear and say a decent ‘ hello?
“ its me.” Those two words made me want to run away and lock myself up, just to make sure no one can hear us.i know im being paranoid, but he makes me feel all jumpy.
“ im on my way to the library,” i quipped, its fairl early, 5:30, but i don’t even know what to say anymore.
“ oh. I will be on my way then,” he tells me and i wish i have the same calm as him. But i don’t. Im so unlucky, he must sense how uptight i am and i hear him chuckle.
“ don’t worry, im not gonna rape you or anything like that.” He tells me and i relax at that.
“ its been three days,” oh fuck. Why did i say that? Now i sound like a love sick puppy. This was true, ofcourse. After that night, the ‘diagnostic’ as he put it, we haven’t seen each other. Ive heard that he had training and so i did not make too much out of it.
“ missing me already?” he said slyly and i bit my tongue.
“ you can say that,” i replied.
“ then stop standing there like an idiot and get over to the library.” He instructs and i mouth a goodbye at jonghyun who is clearly unhappy that he won’t be able to tell me the best bit about his story. I promise tp listen later and comment. But i doubt that i will. Something tells me that the library will keep me for quite some time.
I enter the library and scan the crowd, a couple of people greet me and then i felt an intense gaze at the back of my head. It was weird, really. I have experienced knowing that a person is looking at me and i look back. But this is different. Its like, there is a physical connection. Like i can touch it. I shake the thought off and turned around to see minho looking at me. He is seated beside a senior, like himself. I an, not familiar with him but as soon as he sees me. He takes his leave.
No one really seats next to Minho, unless you are incredibly close. I hesitate for a moment and walked towards him. He nods in recognition and i sit infront of him.
Like this is a fucking study session. Absurd.
“ what will you be reading?” he asks casually as he leafs through a book and starts to write down some things. I take a peek and realize that he is making homework.
“ freud stuff.” I mumble and stare at my book. I tried to read it all, but i won’t get past the three sentences before i start all over again.
“ so, how are you?”
“ fine.” I gritted my teeth, what is he playing at? His hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail and his eyes are all innocent and clear. It does not help my predicament at all. How this happened, i do not know. This attraction. I don’t even have a clue.
“ relax Taemin. Please. ” he tells me, and i take a deep breath. “ i want you to be comfortable, okay?” he almost pleads and i give in,.
“ so?” i trail off and he puts down the book.
“ you know the contract right?” he asks and i nod my head. Really. The contract was just something i read off the internet. About the meaning of bdsm and what must i do to be a sub. Also, the boundaries.
“ i want to know, how far can you go.” His words washed over me like cold water. How far? It was the question that had been bothering me.
I looked down and tell him, “ im not gay”
But he quickly dispels it, “ your point is?”
I look up at him and study him. He seems to be calm and professional about this. Its a side of choi minho that i did not know existed. For outsiders like me, he is always viewed as a poster boy for all the athletes who wants to make it big. A disciplined and traditional person who gives pride to the country.
“ what i mean is. Im not sure. Ive done it with a girl before and- i don’t really know the mechanics.” I answer back, almost blushing.
“ oh. So, no intercourse then?” he replies and starts looking at the book he is holding again.
“ none.” I whisper and i contemplate for a moment. “ i didn’t know you are gay.” I tell him dumbly and he smiles at me, like im a five year old who just said something amusing.
“ people are so obssessed with labels.” He starts to say and continues to leaf through his book. “ i mean, sex i sex. Its physiological- not religious or some shit like that.” Hearing him swear made my hands all cold and clammy. What the hell is wrong with me? My reactions to this man is beyond me. Ive seen girls swoon over him. Am i caught in his web too? He does not realize my inner debate and carries on with his explanation.
“ if you are attracted to someone, i think, you should follow through. People bitch about being alone and lonely. But-its entirely their fault. They fight the attraction.” He lightly puts it,
“ so, you are attracted to me?” i ask him, wow! Aren’t i confident? I want to smack myself for asking that.
He studies me for a moment and licks his lips, “ i guess the feeling is mutual.”
I look down, trying to hide the terrible blush that is evident on my face. He stands up and i follow him, not wanting to look like an idiot. He leads the way and we are in a deserted corner, i did not even know that existed. The students are not passing by, they are either at the library or in their dorms. I lean my back against the wall and Minho pushes his body against mine. We fit perfectly. It may sound dumb and sappy, but we do. His body heat is amazing and as his eyes rake over me; i completely surrender.
“i can’t believe i found you- ” He tells me and i can only nod. I don’t really get what he is saying, but the close proximity is too much to bear and i am rendered speechless.
“ stop-” i breathe out but he doesn’t. Instead, he still stands close to me- closer, even- if possible. He places kisses on my neck and i shudder. He chuckles at that and he licks my earlobe, making me all weak. His hands are dangerously going south but he stops at the place i want him to touch me the most. Damn tease. He completely ignores my lips. Cause kissing is personal, according to him.
“ ditch your school work and go to my place,” his invitation is tempting as it is and i wonder why he wants my permission. He can command me.
“ id love that.” He smiles at me and he takes my hand, tugging me towards him. I wonder where all the peopl went, as we virtually passed no other people. Minho’s dorm, is at the far end f the campus. As a star athlete and country pride- he gets the special treatment.
As he opens the door to his place, i gasp as i take the place in. Its wonderful. All modern and quaint. Just like him. The lust i gathered from earlier lessened as i became curious of the photos lining the walls or what is the color of his couch (maybe that’s his favorite too). And the more trivial things, like what drink he prefers and how many pillows does he sleep in? I find it unusual to want to know this about somebody. Usually, i meet people and get to know about them and their quirks along the way. I have seen this place before, when we first did our ‘session’. But this is the only time i am coherent enough to look around.
But with Minho, i want to take the fast track. I want to understand every detail about him. Give me notes about him and i will study them all night long.
I am snapped back to reality as he nudges me,
“ i think you like it-”
“ your place here is awesome.” I tell him.
“ a friend decorated it for me.” He puts it and leads me towards his balcony. I look up and realize that this is a perfect spot for thinking and just being all alone. We stand there in silence and i feel myself relax. Maybe, if our arrangement wasn’t this fucked up, i guess that he can become my friend. But if i didn;t recognize him to be a dom and agreed to this, i doubt that i will ever get the chance to be this close to him.
“ maybe you’re right,” i suddenly say, he does not look at me so i continue. “ about what you said, sex is sex. I understand your logic, i mean- if you find that one person that seem right for you- why will you stop? Its just a trivial thing- gender, that is.” I finish speaking and turn to leave but he holds my hand.
“ glad you understand, so- ”
His eyes darken and i swallow. I know what is coming next and i can only nod at him.
“ then, strip and we meet me in my bedroom.”
I scrambled to my feet and fpund his bedroom. Its warm in here, but it does not make me all sweaty. This is his playroom and whatever happens in here will stay inside. I strip myself off of my clothes and aly them carefully on a couch, I gather that he gets pleasure from seeing people all naked and ready for him while he is fully clothed himself. Like its a sign of his superiority over a sub. I notice the door open and there he is, like i guessed- fully clothed. I look down as he stares at me. I mean, im not as fit as him- but i try. Thank god i let jonghyun drag me to the gym every morning.
“ relax.” He repeats as he takes my hand and i squeeze tight. I will myself to relax and i feel like im succeeding.
“ i will make you feel good, as your master. That is my duty, and as a sub, you must follow.”
I say yes and i close my eyes as i feel his breathe on my neck. Ive read and interviewed both subs and dom before. He is unlike any other dom. Most dominatrix i know just push the sub around and use them to pleasure themselves. But Minho is more traditional, he understands the true meaning of being a dominatrix. Most subs are uptight people who is always in control. They can only relax and be free when they are in the role of a sub. A dominatrix must make sure that his/her sub’s needs are attended. In a way, a dom also serves the sub.
He licks my skin painfully slow and my knees are weakening by the second.
“ stay still. ” he commands. “ i don’t want your knees bucking or anything like that,”
I almost jump in surprise as his hand ghosts my lenght. Stroking it slowly and i became unbelievably hard. Panting, i try to control my breathing but his damn skillful hand as well as his lips on my neck-trailing sweet kisses and biting me. All of that and the scent of him is enough to make me almost fall down. But i must not move. Like what he said. I have to stay still.
I think about my safe word. But i want to please him, i cannot give up. His pace is delicious and i fight from pushing myself towards him, asking for more friction.
“ delayed gratification.” He tells me, “ its a skill you must master. Holding it, trying to control the pleasure.” He explains and his hands leave me. I felt the sudden loss and i want to feel him again. He removes his shirt and i am rewarded by seeing his body. I have never been turned on by a man’s body before. But Minho just makes me do things i won’t normally do.
He hears my breath become more irregular and he raises his eyebrow.
“ don’t dissapoint me Taemin,”
“ yes master.” I manage to croak out and he tells me to kneel. I oblige willingly. I feel the cold floor and he zips his jeans open. I have never admired a person’s dick before, but i am now. What willcome next made me almost hyperventilate.
“ pleasure me.” He commands and i swallow hard. I have never given anyone head before, he knows that. But instead, he pushes the limits with me. I have always been on the receiving end so i know the mechanics atleast.
“ i told you, i will push the limits with you.” He repeats and i realize that there is no backing out. I can only use my safe word if i find something uncomfortable. Or, if im about to cum without his permission. But i do not want to dissapoint him. I want to prove myself tp him and to myself as well. I close my eyes and breathe in. I can do this.
I hold him firmly and realize that he is hard, but not as hard as i am. Atleast, he will have some release. Unlike me.
“ now.” He commands once more and i dip my tongue towards the head. It feels weird, but at the same time exciting. As i take him in my mouth, I look up to him, staring into his eyes.
“ look down, ” he tells me and i obliged. I take pride in the notion that i affect him so much, he wants me too look awa. His moans and groans left me wanting more release but i hold it off. Continuing to pleasure him with my mouth. I take in as much as i could, and as he hit the back of my throat- i fight back a gag and he lets out the most erotic growl. His hands are on my hair and he guides me more. Deeper.
He tenses and i know that he will cum.
“ let go.” He commands once more and i let him go with a pop.
Watching him cum was like seeing an incredibly attractive actor from some porns i watched before. Now i realize how someone can feel empowered by this practice. Knowing that you can pleasure someone like this. I am painfully hard but i have to hold still. He tells me to stand and he looks at me.
“impressive , your you first time.” He tells me and i am rewarded by his soft touch on my cheeks.
“ thank you master-” i speak out and he places his hand on my dick, stroking me in a pace that made me want to give out. The fucker its trying to make me cum. He wants me to fail. But i won’t. I am not going to allow it. I moan shamelessly and he is obviously spurred on by it. He stops at just the right moment and my head hangs. Still no release.
“ get dressed.” He says and walks away from me. I can’t believe this. “ i won’t be using toys now or bondage, but expect me to start in a few days with that. ”
“ yes master.” I croak out.
I start to dress myself and he studies me as i do so. Every brush of cloth on my dick is torture.
“ be ready when i use the toys, ” He states pointedly and i answer back.
“ Yes master.“”
He smiles at me and my breath falters. His smile is not the connving one, like he is up to something. Or the ones he gives when i see him on interviews or magazines. This is different, its like- he is genuinely happy. I see the glint in his eyes and i have to look away.
“ wait for five minutes and come out, meet me at the living room as equals.”
I cna only nod and wait. As i step out, I watch him seated on his couch, with a drink in hand. He looks almost casual,
“ Taemin-” he calls out and hands me a can of soda. I stare at it. How he shift from being a dominatrix to someone who is like a casual friend is unbelievable.
“ thanks,” i get the drink from him and we watch the soccer match on tv. I look at my watch and realize that i have to get going. Its late, and i have an early class tommorrow. Surprisingly, minho realizes this.
“ i will give you a ride home.” He offers but i decline. Instead, he leads me out the door. I do not look back, i am afraid of what i will feel if i do. As I wait for the bus, i put my hands in my pocket and realize that i am missing my bracelet. Shit. That was important. My mom gave that to me. I ran back to his place , as i reach the hallway, i hear his voice.
“ what re you doing here?” he asks.
“ i heard about your new sub- how can you be so cruel?” the other one answers.
“you have no power over me, i choose who i will take as my sub.” He asnwers back and i wonder what he means by that.
“ Minho, please think about it. ” I don’t like this guy. I walk towards the hallway and minho immediately spots me. But the guy he is talking to made me more irritated as he leans in and kisses Minho. My mind blacks out at that. As i see him push Minho on the wall and trap him. He cannot do that.
I am not a violent person but i do not like what im seeing. With that, I push the guy off and my fist landed on his face.
“ get your filthy hand off him!” i shout at him, with a tome that surprised me as well. I tried to get him in his stomach but Minho stops me.
“ Taemin- leave!” he tells me. But outside of the playroom, he is not my master. I take my stand.
“ not until he leaves.’ I say, the guy smiles at me, despite the puch i gave him.
“ im nickhun, pretty boy.” I am infuriated and Minho stand between us.
“ Taemin, please.” I cannot deny his request but i cannot leave him.
“ i won’t leave you,”
Minho holds my hand,
“ Taemin, please.” I am defeated and i glare at the other man. I walk away, trying to will myself to keep on walking. This feeling of mine, to protect him and make sure that he is alright will have to be a first for me.
As i board the bus i hung my head, this is more complicated than i thought.
=======================
He hasn’t called me for a week. I gather it is because of the violence i displayed. Key notices the shift in my mood. The exams are over and instread of relaxing, i am more uptight than ever. More than anything else, i am pissed at minho. Why did he not take my side? Im his sub.
“what is it?” he asks me and i can only ignore key.
“ nothing.”
“ dont bullshit me.’ He cuts me off. And i can only surrender. I can tell him anything, maybe i can twist the truth then.
“ i am seeing someone,”
I tell him casually and he doesn;t even react. If this was jonghyun, he will probably start spazzing and asking me details. But this is Key, he will listen to me.
“ its like- not really a relationship, relationship.” I try my best to explain and i hope he will supply make it easier for me to give my message across. But he just listens. I stop and collect my thoughts. “ there is definitely an attraction. And i feel all these things i have never- ” i stop for a moment and let the truth roll off my tongue. “ its- lust and all these-”
Key raises his eyebrows and words it for me,
“ ah- you have a fuck buddy,” he tells me in his best impression of nonchalant and he delivers well. Really well.
“you can say that.” He realizes that i haven’t fully told him the truth but he does not push. He waits for me to say it and i find it hard to gain that courage.
“ a buddy, literally.” I explain, but he does not get it. “ my fuck buddy is a dude.” I finally say and Key opens his mouth as if to say something and closes it again.
“ ah- so you finally tried huh.” he replies and i am dumbfounded. After all the answers i imagined he will say, this is not on the list. I expect him to be all mother hen on me and nag me about my choices in life. But no.
“ its fucked up! I can’t believe it, but he makes me feel these things and- its almost addictive.” There, i said it. A small smile spreads in his face and i pout.
“ Look, i am surprised. I can give you that. But, its what kids do, experiment.”
I want the earth to swallow me, why is everyone condoning my actions?
“ I know, but sulli- and everyone- ”
“ Taemin, it will only be cheating if you genuinely feel something about the guy. Do you?”
I cringe at his words. Do i have feelings for minho? I miss him. I want to protect him and make hin feel good. I really do, but to admit to that. Its something i cannot accept for now. I look away and let the silence overpower us.
I have to think.
“ you forgot this.”
I almost jumped as i heard those words. Its late in the afternoon and i am busy returning the books i borrowed. I recognize the voice immediately and i just can’t look into his eyes. I missed him and i want to ask him so much more. But i only take the bracelet away from him.
“ thanks. Its important. My mom gave it to me.”
I explain, i try my best to avoid him but he just kept on following me.
“ stop being such a kid and face me,” there is irritation is his tone and i snap at him.
“ so, you’re suddenly my master now? After leaving me for a week and practically kicking me out of your place?”
He is a bit surprised by my words but his calm returns.
“we agreed, we meet once a week. And im sorry i did not follow that, the practices have been crazy. And after all, after that little stunt you pulled,”
I cut him off, “ stunt? What stunt? The part where i punched that creeper who wanted to molest you?” the anger is fueling my bluntness and i am almost sorry for minho to be on the receiving end of this mood.
“ he was not molesting me taemin.”
“ oh yeah, he just pushed you on the wall and kissed you- while you were both in a hallway. And you clearly don’t like it. ”
“ he was my master.” He finally says and we are both silenced. I try to take it all in. That man. Was his master? Why was he there? Do they have a session? My blood boiled at that point. How can he do this to me? Am i not enough?
“ he was the one who fell inlove with me, his name is nickhun.” He explains but im not hearing anything anymore.
“ i do not give a fuck what his name is, fuck whoever you want.” I huffed and walked away. I needed to get away but he is making it any easier as he quickly follows me.
“ what the hell is your problem??? i have two other subs, this is not exclusive.”
I stop at his words and turn to him. This is the breaking point. I have to tell him now, where i stand.
“ am i not enough? Tell me, Minho, am i not enough for you? I know, im as inexperienced as a one year old who just learned how to walk. But i just can’t- --”
“ i didn’t say we were exclusive. You cannot ask me that, that’s hard for me,” he says but i am not finished with my speech.
“ im just angry - and you should know that. Here i am, rotting, and waiting for you. Here i am, thinking, what the hell is happening to me and this stupid thing between us,” i gestured toward us and he replies coldy,
“ whatever we have is not stupid.” I completely ignore his statement,
“ I don’t know if its my natural persona or me being into this sub role, i don’t want you to have another master or two more subs. I know it does not work this way- but- i cannot lie to you. Subs do not lie to their master- and i am telling you the truth.”
“ and that is?” he walks closer and i close my eyes.
“ it pains me, to know that you are with somebody else.”
He quickly answers back. “ you have a girlfriend and i have a life outside this- this - dom persona.”
His words hit me hard. He is telling the truth. We have lives outside of this relationship. I am not just taemin, the sub. I am also a student, a son and a friend. Same goes for him. What im asking is selfish and next to impossible. But i still tell him, i need to let it all out. Its like a thorn was taken out of my heart and left on the floor.
“ i know.” I whisper and take my leave. I sense that he wants to talk to me and i quickly did the only thing i could and i said it,
“ FOREVER.”
Its my safe word. Although we are not in our roles for now, its the only word that will make him back off. He remains silent and i walk away.
My thoughts are racing and i wonder if i should quit. If i should just turn back. After all, the contract is purely personal and i don’t think minho is the kind of person who will run after me. Hell. I mentally slap myself for telling him the truth. He must think im selfish, but either way- its out in the open. The thought had been gnawing in my brain for quite some time.
As i reach my dorm, i spot sulli who is waiting for me by the door.
“ hey-” she greets me and i give her a fake smile. She looksa t me, “anything wrong? The exams are over.” She replies cheerfully and i feel it, i will be saying something stupid.
“ we need to break up.’ I tell her frankly and she is visibly shocked. I want to take it back but i am done with lying. I cheated on her and i am pining over this man who clearly sees me as a play thing. Im such a sucker for pain and sorrow.
“ Taemin- i don’t understand,” her eyes are watering and i hold her hand.
“ i am not myeslf right now, i need time to think.” I explain to her and the sorrow in her eyes quickly turned into anger.
“ fuck you!” she curses and leaves me alone. I slump on the floor and i pulls my legs towards me, in a fetal position.
How did i get myself in this position? This attraction towards Minho is lethal and i just cannot say no. I cannot deny the fact that i need him. My phone beeps and i look at it,
“ 7pm. Tommorrow. ”
I read it over and over again and as much as i want to tell him that im calling it off, i only close the phone and take a deep breath. There is no going back.
Minho has me wrapped around his finger. His hands dangerously on my neck and im waiting for him to snap me in half. Or whatever it is that he wants. I open my eyes and i managed to smile and hum to myself,
And if a ten-ton truck crashes into us, to die by your side, is such a heavenly way to die.
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A/N. :''>
1. I update once a week. i am planning for this to be atleast until chapter 6, 8 at the most.
2. PLEASE DO COMMENT OR RECOMMEND THIS FIC. Thanks. =)))
3. i hope you enjoyed this. ^^ I am.