Long Thoughts A Grandview story Rated G
Title: Long Thoughts
Series: Grandview
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None (except for previous chapters)
Word count: 1,280
Summary: When Rodney was thinking, he liked to sit down, of course that could be because he thinks so much that standing to do it would be too tiring.
Rodney rolled over onto his side, but instead of feeling John’s warmth he felt the chill of an empty bed. He sat up and turned on the lamp before slipping his feet into his slippers. After checking both Nathan and Grace’s rooms, he went downstairs and found John standing at the sliding doors. That had become Johns thinking place, and Rodney had no idea why. When Rodney was thinking, he liked to sit down, of course that could be because he thinks so much that standing to do it would be too tiring.
“What are you thinking about?” Rodney asked as he slipped his arms around John’s waist. It’d been just over a month since Grace’s birth, and John’s incision was mostly healed. Rodney had tried to get John to let Sam use the healing device on him, but he wouldn’t do it. John had said he’d already used an ancient device to get pregnant; he didn’t want to risk a Goa’uld device undoing everything. Rodney couldn’t argue, as intense as the sensitive sex had been, it had been uncomfortable for John both before and after, and Rodney didn’t want John to have to go through that again.
“Work,” John said in answer to Rodney’s question.
“What about it?” Rodney asked and planted a soft kiss to John’s jaw.
John sighed and it was the only sound he made for a long while. Rodney was about to press a little harder for an answer when John finally spoke.
“I’m thinking about having Jack take me off the team.”
“What?” Rodney asked in disbelief. “You can’t do that.”
“Yes I can, Rodney, and I think I will.”
“Why? You haven’t been on a mission in months, and all you talked about since then was being able to go on another mission. After being cooped up in the house for months on end, I’d think you’d be itching to go off world.”
“I know,” John sighed again and turned in Rodney’s arms, wrapping his own arms around Rodney’s shoulders. “That was before Grace was born. I don’t want to be off world if anything happens to either of the kids. I am totally unreachable out there. What if something bad happens? I wouldn’t even know until I got back, and there’s never any guarantee that I’ll be back on schedule. Remember how we missed Jeanie’s first ultrasound because of that?”
Rodney remembered, he and John both still felt a little cheated by that. “I remember,” he said, “but what brought this on?”
John shrugged, “I’ve just been thinking about it. I’m on another planet while my kids are at daycare.”
“What would you do? You’d be utterly miserable sitting behind a desk all day.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily have to sit at a desk, there are other things I could do.”
“Like fly fighter jets over hostile areas? You’re a soldier, if you’re not going through the gate there isn’t much else for you to do besides go to war. I don’t want that. John, it’s much safer for you to go off world. ”
“I don’t want to go to war either,” John sighed.
“This is what you do, John, it’s what makes you happy.”
Another sigh from John and he looked away from Rodney. “You and the kids make me happy. I just want to be closer to my family.”
“I know,” Rodney said softly, he understood completely. He wasn’t even able to count the number of times he’d wanted to leave work just to get Nathan from daycare and spend the day with him. That wasn’t an option John had when he was on another planet. “But you wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.”
“I could retire, come work with you.”
“Right, and be a light switch? John you hated that on Atlantis, it wouldn’t be any different here.”
“I know but-”
“John, I’m not going to tell you no, but I think this is something we should talk about more fully, maybe get an outside opinion.”
“Rodney, I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids, what else is there in life? I don’t think it matters what I do all day as long as you, Nathan and Grace are here when I come home.”
Rodney nodded, he couldn’t exactly argue with that point. “You haven’t even gone back yet, why don’t you wait to make a decision later? Like you said, it doesn’t matter what you do as long as we’re here when you get home, and we will be. We’ll always be right here, John, we’re not going anywhere without you.”
“And what if something happens to you or one of the kids in the mean time?”
“We’d get you home as fast as possible, even if that means sending the Daedalus to get you. You have your subcutaneous transmitter; they’d beam you up and bring you home. You’d be in Milky Way so it wouldn’t take that long.”
John nodded with another thoughtful sigh, “I guess.”
“Just give it time, let yourself get back to work before you make any decisions that you might regret later.”
“Okay,” John said softly, but Rodney had a feeling he hadn’t heard the last of this. At least, for the time being, he’d won the battle, and that was good enough for now.
“In the meantime, let’s go back to bed. It won’t be too much longer before Grace wakes up for her feeding.”
John looked at his watch and nodded. “Thirty two minutes,” he said.
Rodney huffed out a laugh and kissed John gently. They’d gotten Grace’s schedule down to within a few minutes, the kid ran like clockwork. “Yeah,” he said, “and I’ll get her.”
“You got her last time,” John told him.
“I know, but I also got some sleep since then, and I really don’t mind. It’s not that much of a hardship to spend a little time with my daughter.”
John smiled and kissed Rodney again. “Well, I can’t very well deny you that.”
“No, you can’t. Now come on, let’s go to bed.”
John nodded and Rodney took his hand and led him back to the stairs.
“I want you to promise me that you’re going to stop thinking about things that get you up in the middle of the night.”
There was another sigh from behind Rodney, but this one was faked and Rodney was happy that John was in at least somewhat of a better mood. “I promise,” John said.
Rodney opened the bedroom door and let John go in first. He smiled as he watched John snuggle underneath the blanket.
“What are you going to do?” John asked.
“We only have thirty two minutes until Grace wakes up, I’m going to go downstairs and start getting ready. I figure that since I’m already up, there’s no reason for her to cry for the fifteen minutes it takes to get everything ready.”
“Planning ahead,” John said, and Rodney could tell that he was almost half asleep already. He had no idea how the man fell asleep so quickly, it must be the military thing, sleep when you can type stuff.
“Always,” Rodney replied and kissed John’s forehead. “I’ll be back in an hour.”
“M’kay,” John replied and snuggled further under the covers until only his pointy hair was peeking out. Rodney smiled and turned off the lamp. His life had come a long way in the last nine years; he could barely remember the life he had before. Quietly closing the door, he went downstairs to get Grace’s bottle ready, she was going to need him soon, and there wasn’t a thing in the universe that he wouldn’t do for her.