hearts and thoughts / they fade fade away

[favoritism]

i wished and wished all day
for something i wanted
i whined and whimpered
and kept looking up
like a robot
hoping
to see it standing there
to see it peeking over the hills

then
when i got what i wanted
when i randomlyWTF got what i wanted
after one beat
i already knew
that i didn't really want it

that maybe
all i really wanted
was wanting it
just that
and only that
that maybe
wanting to want it
is all

because tupe did say
that you can't easily digest beef
it rots in your stomach
for several days
before it moves on

so maybe i just have to be patient
and wait wait wait
until i'm really ready to digest
to take a dump
and flush flush flush

i throw the frisbee to joma's direction
muscle memory
muscle memory
is really all there is to it
the brain is a muscle
the heart is a muscle
or are they?

i could be wrong
but i smile to myself
knowing my ass looks great
in (formerly) lara's hot pink pants
i flip my hair
trying not to look back
and begin to
rethink
the things
that i really want