its not over.
and my bones wont stop breaking
no, every step i take
takes my brittle bones, bends and breaks them.
and tiny shards of worn down bones are scattered in this path i tread.
and i cant stop shaking
my senses and sources of life
are being taken away one by one
as im pealed of my dignity, my worth, my pride.
and a million little pieces of hope linger in this path i tread.
and my heart wont stop aching
and as the rust pours from the valves
i cannot think quick enough to mend and paint and heal myself
all the meaningless small hurt feelings shed from the breaks
and all my small regrets quietly follow me down this path i tread.
im dying to know, where will you be my baby
where are you going.
youve left me in a safe place to rott away.
little things around the room place themselves in my hands.
the same hands you held and kissed and grabbed.
and youd come after me when i walked away.
youd turn me around when i turned away
you kiss me harder, when i pushed you away.
i sit here and regret and cry
i wish i never pushed you away
you asked me so many times why i push you
please stop pushing me
i never did
i always pushed you away.
if i could i would kiss you now
perhaps it would be my last chance
to force my heart beat into your grasp
you feel it beating faster and i feel yours.
im finally the one you love.
ive always wanted to be the one you love
and yet i still push away
why why why
you ask me questions i never thought to ask myself
i have no answers
you have no answers
why cant you please answer me
why cant you please just lie to me
make me feel safe and tell me you know
let me pretend that we can be together.
love, at this point pretending is better than anything i could come up with.
i will pretend youre still coming to get me in the morning.
i can pretend to hold on to you when im alone in that big cold bed.
do you know i altered my sleeping arrangements
with pillows and blankets to pretend i was sleeping on your chest
well i do, every night. its how im able to feel safe and calm
im hurting. im crying. you have no answers for me.
im crying. im hurting. im so hurt.
i honestly feel my heart breaking.
all our plans 3 years, 15 months, 6 months, 2 months, 2 weeks
in advance.
all the things i saw us doing together are leaving me.
they are leaving me
everyone is leaving me.
i have nothing.
nothing is mine.
my grasp holds nothing.
please just let me hold you one last time.
im hurting. im crying.
no, every step i take
takes my brittle bones, bends and breaks them.
and tiny shards of worn down bones are scattered in this path i tread.
and i cant stop shaking
my senses and sources of life
are being taken away one by one
as im pealed of my dignity, my worth, my pride.
and a million little pieces of hope linger in this path i tread.
and my heart wont stop aching
and as the rust pours from the valves
i cannot think quick enough to mend and paint and heal myself
all the meaningless small hurt feelings shed from the breaks
and all my small regrets quietly follow me down this path i tread.
im dying to know, where will you be my baby
where are you going.
youve left me in a safe place to rott away.
little things around the room place themselves in my hands.
the same hands you held and kissed and grabbed.
and youd come after me when i walked away.
youd turn me around when i turned away
you kiss me harder, when i pushed you away.
i sit here and regret and cry
i wish i never pushed you away
you asked me so many times why i push you
please stop pushing me
i never did
i always pushed you away.
if i could i would kiss you now
perhaps it would be my last chance
to force my heart beat into your grasp
you feel it beating faster and i feel yours.
im finally the one you love.
ive always wanted to be the one you love
and yet i still push away
why why why
you ask me questions i never thought to ask myself
i have no answers
you have no answers
why cant you please answer me
why cant you please just lie to me
make me feel safe and tell me you know
let me pretend that we can be together.
love, at this point pretending is better than anything i could come up with.
i will pretend youre still coming to get me in the morning.
i can pretend to hold on to you when im alone in that big cold bed.
do you know i altered my sleeping arrangements
with pillows and blankets to pretend i was sleeping on your chest
well i do, every night. its how im able to feel safe and calm
im hurting. im crying. you have no answers for me.
im crying. im hurting. im so hurt.
i honestly feel my heart breaking.
all our plans 3 years, 15 months, 6 months, 2 months, 2 weeks
in advance.
all the things i saw us doing together are leaving me.
they are leaving me
everyone is leaving me.
i have nothing.
nothing is mine.
my grasp holds nothing.
please just let me hold you one last time.
im hurting. im crying.