(no subject)
i feel better. yeah yeah. england was loads of fun but hopefully college will be even better.
i hate to sound like a bitch but this is the truth
so, reflect upon your entire school career. actually, think about freshman year:
In ninth grade, i was going to a new school where i had a few friends going with me, but it was mostly strangers.
and you know what? I rarely had classes with my old junior high friends. but you know who i always had classes with?
freaks, man. the fucking weirdasses who had annoyed me through junior high. i had been putting up with some of these freaks since elementary school. annoying nerds, obnoxious know-it-alls, or pathetic wannabes. UGH.
so, high school graduation. yay... i go to orientation for college. the hallowed ground of beer and smut. my future. woo woo. and im minding my own business at orientation when i am accosted by an acquaintance... oh, shit. not you.
It is one of the freaks that I have dreaded contact with for years.
I feign a smile and say that I have to pee.
As I attempt to make myself scarce, I realize: I'm going to have a class with this moron. actually, I'm probably going to have 2 or 3 classes with this moron, because thats the way my life goes.
and I know that if I do have a class with one of my "friends", they're going to groan when I walk in and sit down next to them and begin the requisite post-summer banter. As I prattle on about England and my shitty job, the friend will rub his/her temples and wonder, "Dear God, why do I always have to run into this moron?"
Cause yeah, I've been thinking a lot about karma lately. Visiting Europe, I realized that there are hardly any really fat people there. There were lots of beer guts, but none of those disgusting people. You know the type: rolls on the forearms, triple chin, squeezing into restaurant booths and airplane seats. The kind of person that if you put a string around his/her stomach, it would form a perfect circle. SO none of those in England, but I didnt really notice it until I flew into Dallas. I'm pretty sure that is the fatass capital of the world. i felt like i was watching a fucking michelin man look-alike contest. I'm not talking fat like "I'm a size 13, I could use to lose a few pounds." Thats not even fat. Thats low self-esteem. By fat, I mean like size 37 fat.
As I watched the larger folks ask for seatbelt extensions, I just felt nauseated. I hate fat people. I feel so shallow about this but its the truth. Nobody gets to 400 pounds by accident. I hate the laziness, the gluttony, the lack of self-control and self-preservation. But mostly, I hate the sight of a small whale in a tank top. Eeeew.
I know what this shallowness (is that a word??) will bring me. Either:
a. the world will have some apocalyptic occurance, causing myself and other non-fatties to starve, while the fatasses feed off their own body weight and survive to conquer civilization. Twinkies will become like gold, so I guess this isnt necessarily a bad thing.
b. a fat lady is going to fall on me and crush me. and then I will die.
c. i'm going to fall in love with a Fat Bastard-esque man. And then I'm going to get in his belly.
d. I'm going to be morbidly obese someday. This is the most realistic karmic consequence, so I'm kind of nervous. What will happen when my metabloism slows down? I dont know man. Just dont make fun of me when I ask for a seatbelt extension.
i hate to sound like a bitch but this is the truth
so, reflect upon your entire school career. actually, think about freshman year:
In ninth grade, i was going to a new school where i had a few friends going with me, but it was mostly strangers.
and you know what? I rarely had classes with my old junior high friends. but you know who i always had classes with?
freaks, man. the fucking weirdasses who had annoyed me through junior high. i had been putting up with some of these freaks since elementary school. annoying nerds, obnoxious know-it-alls, or pathetic wannabes. UGH.
so, high school graduation. yay... i go to orientation for college. the hallowed ground of beer and smut. my future. woo woo. and im minding my own business at orientation when i am accosted by an acquaintance... oh, shit. not you.
It is one of the freaks that I have dreaded contact with for years.
I feign a smile and say that I have to pee.
As I attempt to make myself scarce, I realize: I'm going to have a class with this moron. actually, I'm probably going to have 2 or 3 classes with this moron, because thats the way my life goes.
and I know that if I do have a class with one of my "friends", they're going to groan when I walk in and sit down next to them and begin the requisite post-summer banter. As I prattle on about England and my shitty job, the friend will rub his/her temples and wonder, "Dear God, why do I always have to run into this moron?"
Cause yeah, I've been thinking a lot about karma lately. Visiting Europe, I realized that there are hardly any really fat people there. There were lots of beer guts, but none of those disgusting people. You know the type: rolls on the forearms, triple chin, squeezing into restaurant booths and airplane seats. The kind of person that if you put a string around his/her stomach, it would form a perfect circle. SO none of those in England, but I didnt really notice it until I flew into Dallas. I'm pretty sure that is the fatass capital of the world. i felt like i was watching a fucking michelin man look-alike contest. I'm not talking fat like "I'm a size 13, I could use to lose a few pounds." Thats not even fat. Thats low self-esteem. By fat, I mean like size 37 fat.
As I watched the larger folks ask for seatbelt extensions, I just felt nauseated. I hate fat people. I feel so shallow about this but its the truth. Nobody gets to 400 pounds by accident. I hate the laziness, the gluttony, the lack of self-control and self-preservation. But mostly, I hate the sight of a small whale in a tank top. Eeeew.
I know what this shallowness (is that a word??) will bring me. Either:
a. the world will have some apocalyptic occurance, causing myself and other non-fatties to starve, while the fatasses feed off their own body weight and survive to conquer civilization. Twinkies will become like gold, so I guess this isnt necessarily a bad thing.
b. a fat lady is going to fall on me and crush me. and then I will die.
c. i'm going to fall in love with a Fat Bastard-esque man. And then I'm going to get in his belly.
d. I'm going to be morbidly obese someday. This is the most realistic karmic consequence, so I'm kind of nervous. What will happen when my metabloism slows down? I dont know man. Just dont make fun of me when I ask for a seatbelt extension.