you know it's time for an oscar fashion post

[faux_teak]

This might be the longest Oscar fashion post ever, which is weird because mostly I thought the fashion (like the ceremony) was kinda lame and mostly yawn-ful. That said, here we go.

Best Dressed

Comments

[tummies]

Man, I concur with y'all. LAME Oscar fashions. Did you hear it had the lowest viewership since Nilsen ratings began? It felt kind of low-tech, which was okay, because Jon Stewart was great. I loved the quip about inviting writers to the Vanity Fair party for once...and about Jack Nicholson fathering some children by the night's end. Gross, but hilarious.

My favorite was Cate Blanchett. The woman can do no wrong. She looked radiant as always: dark violet silk, ethnic accents (by which I mean the beading and tubing, and the mixing of sea-green with deep-purple. Who else does that at the Oscars!?) I think she looks (and dresses) even better when she's pregnant; I can't find a picture of the red satin dress she wore the first time around, but if anyone remembers that, you know what I mean. And does anyone know the woman who was sitting next to her in the much brighter jewel-purple dress? Was that her mother? They looked kind of alike...

Worst: again, the consensus on Rebecca Miller. Maybe she was trying to be subversive, who knows. Also, though, I hated Heidi Klum's dress. It looked like it came with a head rest, the kind you buy at airport newsstands. I also detested Sarah Larson's dress. Baby's First Wallpaper.

Regarding this year's crop of black dresses: I actually hate black dresses only slightly less than flesh-colored dresses (ok, "champagne") but I must say I liked a few this year. Jennifer Garner really pulled it off. Hilary Swank's was a much poorer incarnation of the same thing. I actually loved both Ellen Page and Nicole Kidman's dresses - though neither would have worked at all without perfectly-chosen necklaces.

Trend I hated: the RANDOM PUFF AND FLUFF AND FEATHER AND FROUFF. Jessica Alba, Penelope Cruz. What the hell?

Trend I can tolerate: the mermaid silhouette. Especially when your dress actually has scales (I'm looking at you, Frenchie).

So...I may be clueless, but...are all the stars not invited to the Oscars every year? Because I really wanted to see what (1) Uma Thurman, (2) Naomi Watts, and (3) Kate Winslet were wearing. Oh, and (4) Gwyneth Paltrow, so I could mock her.

As a final note, Tilda Swinton's coolness transcends all commentary on her fashion. So I won't say here how much I hated her dress.

[faux_teak]

are all the stars not invited to the Oscars every year?

Correct. You're invited if you're nominated or if you're presenting or if you're high profile and connected with a high profile film that's nominated.

I mean, there are clearly ways to get tickets, and I don't think major celebs would be turned away if they sought out those tix, but I think it's sort of generally acknowledged that you go if you have a reason to be there.

Or if you're Jack Nicholson who always sits in that damn front row seat with his stupid sunglasses and lecherous smirk.

And I am in total agreement re: Tilda Swinton. Her coolness and lack of makeup and awesome bracelet and COOLNESS mean she gets a free pass from me for wearing weird, unflattering clothes.