Living in the Past
Am I? I don't deny that I think of him every night and he remains one of the strongest motivation whenever I'm cooped up in the room studying. It is so stressful but now that i think about it, it's a wonder I haven't dropped a single tear over it. The only times I do now, is when I think of him before I sleep and how much he used to love me. I don't think I'm living in the past. I'm not sure if it means I haven't let go if I keep thinking about it and I can't say I'm stronger. Yes, I've transformed my misery into motivation, that's a positive thing but somehow I get this melancholic feeling when I work.
And I miss my family all the time now. I never used to, really. I mean, I did a little but it never felt more significant than now that I'm able to significantly distinguish my feelings now and then. This group of people are the best things ever bestowed upon me since my birth and there's no way I will ever loosen my grip on them.
Have I been unhappy? Honestly, it does sound like so. I mean of course I do smile and everything but I don't know when I'm truly happy. I guess life is always a bit of both and in that sense, my life is balanced.
And I'm trying to brainstorm the good things that happen to me in recent news but nothing is coming to my head and I guess it's due to the fact that tests have been killing me lately and I had no time for anything at all. But I'm thankful really. The only thing consistent in my life is that I have someone to talk to. All the time. Even though these people come and go but every period, there is someone like that who will listen. I guess they get sick of it and leave me eventually.
How much can you miss one person?
On a side note, I've been a bookworm lately. My latest read, The Wednesday Letters and it's really sweet. I hope I can do that one day! HA HA HA.
And I miss my family all the time now. I never used to, really. I mean, I did a little but it never felt more significant than now that I'm able to significantly distinguish my feelings now and then. This group of people are the best things ever bestowed upon me since my birth and there's no way I will ever loosen my grip on them.
Have I been unhappy? Honestly, it does sound like so. I mean of course I do smile and everything but I don't know when I'm truly happy. I guess life is always a bit of both and in that sense, my life is balanced.
And I'm trying to brainstorm the good things that happen to me in recent news but nothing is coming to my head and I guess it's due to the fact that tests have been killing me lately and I had no time for anything at all. But I'm thankful really. The only thing consistent in my life is that I have someone to talk to. All the time. Even though these people come and go but every period, there is someone like that who will listen. I guess they get sick of it and leave me eventually.
How much can you miss one person?
On a side note, I've been a bookworm lately. My latest read, The Wednesday Letters and it's really sweet. I hope I can do that one day! HA HA HA.