A Tale of great warning
I have for you a tale to tell, a tale of woe and (moderate) suffering. A tale of destruction and violence... though not a soul died. Or as the americans like to say - No animal was injured in the making of this story! It is a tale of political machinations and dastardly deeds. For those of you who do not like such stories (those who do do not have to read this bit) I have to say now that it does have a happy ending!
It begins on a hot July evening, a young,beatiful (this is necessary or my death is imminent) wife is moving house alone as her husband is in a far away land earning a crust to support the family (and that is all he was paid, he did have a good time though). As she takes another heavy box into the flat she steals a depressing glance at the dire decoration that pervades the building. As she walks past the kitchen the feelings threaten to drag her into immobility. She forces her face away from the filthy, disgusting, ancient (it wasn't that bad actually but for dramatic liscence...(it was quite bad though)) furniture and cupboardry that is contained within this sorry looking space. She manages to continue with her work by forcing staring straight ahead. A haunting sensation of dread attemts to pull her eyes towards the terrible vista that she will have to live with, but through sheer stuborness (and she is very stubborn) she resists.
Fast forward to a time mere months after the moments we have been glimpsing and you see the same abode. A young, handsome man (yes, I know, more dramatic liscense, so sue me) is having a discussion with the same beautiful woman we saw earlier (this is her husband just in cse those who do know me might question the fact) about the dreaded room. We hear a brief snatch of dialogue,"and the oven doesn't even bloody work, I wanted pizza tonight." The coversation quietens as they come to an agreement and look lovingly into each others eyes. "We can afford it, just", they say almost together.
NB Just a quick reference to the handsome, young husband bit... Would you enjoy the story as much if he was a little wrinkly around the eyes and the hair was a little untidy, he is trying to grow it before baldness sets in. The beautiful wife bit is quite true (again necesary for the above stated reason). Just wait for the other main and incidental characters!
With the assistance of the attending family they search for a good builder (this is no easy task). Three were able to visit and provide what they consider to be an appropriate quote. One a grizled old man who taks a lot of sense, one a complete cowboy (I am amazed that he didn't come with chaps, a pair of pistols and a stetson) who was quite nice to begin with (but as we later found out was full of crap), the third was a local boy who would do it when he wasn't doing his full time job. The quotes are all noticably shocking. Their dilema is who to choose.
The atendant parents magically bring a solution, a group of Romanian builders who will do it for less than a grand. Magic of the highest order and how many cowboys do you know come from a financially chalenged part of europe!
Whilst all this has been happening, a number of visits to Ikea and Leroy Merlin are found to be desperately lacking. And yes we were ikead. Picture this, a day in december (no,no, no, this is a story not... that song), you arrive thinking kitchen and you leave thinking,"why did I buy that pot plant and plastic thingamygig holder?" The parents come along with their magic once again. A warehouse on the outskirts of Madrid, leaving us with a choice of bright red, or bright blue.
On this exciting cliffhanger I leave you to ponder, red or blue, and why no violence or destruction yet! But tough shit viewers the next installment comes soon...