QUESTIONS FOR THE ENGLISH - AMERICANS [are not] WELCOME;
1]Do you prefer to drink PG tips or sainsburys own tea?
As I can’t drink coffee, I would have to say that I do and I drink both. It is easier to find PG Tips in Spain but I would probably not be able to tell the difference.
2]When was the last time you watched TOTP?
Two years ago or more but they don’t show it in Spain!
3] Have you ever been to a pub?
Do I have to answer this, I am 35 and as far as I know most people of my age have done this… at least once a week both since and before they were legally allowed to.
4] Have you ever drunk cider in a park?
Probably but I don’t actually remember, do graveyards count?
5] Have you ever customised you school uniform?
I don’t remember well past the previous five years so unless someone who knows me does then your guess is as good as mine.
6] Have you ever spent over £10 a week topping up your mobile?
Rarely, I am on contract now but I consider the phone as a great device for passing on messages. If you really want to talk cafes or pubs are better.
7] Have you ever shopped at aldi/lidl/netto?
Lidl is good for few things but they are worth a look just in case. To be more specific, not for a big shop.
10] When did you start to go out clubbing?
16ish, when I was in college, bad mistake then, and bad mistake now. A strip club is a damn site more fun although a little more expensive. If you wish to drink go to a pub… If you wish to go deaf and dance go to a club (I don’t)
11] Have you ever laughed at kids with 'free lunch' meal tokens?
I don’t even know what you are talking about.
12] Do you call your mum by her first name?
Not to her face.
13] Have you ever shopped at New Look?
Isn’t that a girls shop?
14] How much are you willing to spend on a pair of shoes?
Boots, a hundred… shoes not more than forty!
15] Have you ever played a game of cricket?
Yes, and it may be slow but there is pain involved.
16] Did you like to play rounders at school?
No, bet there was little choice on the matter
17] Have you ever been made to do P.E in your underwear because you forgot you kit?
Not that I remember!
18] What's your favourite flavour of crisps?
A good prawn cocktail (some of the brands are just cheap and nasty)
19] Do you eat fish and chips regualry or have them wrapped in newspaper?
Not in the right country to do that sort of thig and even when I am they don’t use newspaper anymore.
20] What do you order from McDonalds?
Strawberry milk shakes, and if I have no choice which I usually don’t then I eat a quarterpounder with cheese.
21] Do you think £5.50 is a lot to go see a film at the pictures?
Depends on how comfortable the seats are.
22] Do you drive or own a car?
Yes and no, Yes I do drive a car (in fact several), but the normal one is owned by the ball and chain.
23] What did you do for your 'sweet 16th'?
Bad memory etc, etc, but going by my normal habits probably nothing.
24] What's your favoured alcholic drink?
Bitter, but bearing in mind where I am, ice cold lager in an ice cold glass will do.
25] What do you see when you look to the right?
Yellow, black and green.
26] What do you see when you look to the left?
Yellow, green, and pictures of demons from hell… such sweet little cherublike faces, AND MINDS OF PURE EVIL!!!!!
27] Are you friends with a chav?
Don’t have them here, just gits in tracky bottoms with post modern mullets and a penchant for tuning cars. Not too far off I suppose
29] Where would you class youself at school?
Freak, and not even one of those swotty ones.
30] Do you think we should bring back the £1 note?
Try washing a 1 pound coin and a 1 pound note and see what happens.
31] Do you think we should convert to the euro?
It would be a damn site less confusing and I wouldn’t have to worry about exchange rates. On the other hand the Euro notes do look like monopoly money.
32] Do you agree with the royal family?
I think Harry should be King, now that would be fun!
33] Have you ever been to london?
yes. Dirty, smelly place, wouldn’t want to live there.
34] Blackpool?
yes. Dirty, smelly, noisy place, wouldn’t want to live there.
35] Ireland or Scotland?
Yes to both. I used to live in Scotland and I may be returning to Ireland for six months.
36] Ever watched a football, rugby or a cricket match on TV or in real life?
Yes, but the football matcher ware Real Madrid (at the bernabau) and two out of the three matches were pants. They spent too much time checking their wallets and not enough time bothering to play. The rugby games, too many to mention and at all levels. And in the cricket, the horse won (ask lordeclipse)
37] How much do you get paid a month?
None of your damn business and not enough.
38] Do you listen to radio one?
Chris Moyles only
39] Do you have sky TV?
No, and I want it for the decent British TV, rugby and Top Gear.
40] Do you have a bulldog tattooed to your arm?
It is tattooed on your arm and no!
41] Do you say phrases like 'safe', 'innit', 'bloody', 'bugger' etc?
Bloody, yes, bugger, yes, but my current favourite is no worries.
42] Been in the channel tunnel?
Yes. Your ears pop a lot and the car train is very boring.
42] Been to the 'cheap man's' Disney World in france?
Went to the real one instead.
43] Where have you been on your school trips?
Wales (activity holiday), loved the archery. France, disliked the french (particularly that woan in the post office).
44] Do your parents have a school photo in their purse/wallet?
Hopefully not.
45] How many pairs of trousers do you own?
Unable to count from here, but at least 8 not including jeans.
46] ...and underwear?
Who counts their underwear?
47] Have you ever been to the bookies/made a bet?
About twice and I lost both times.
48] Where do you do your food shopping?
Which ever is closest, currently Al Campo.
49] Where is an average weekend spent?
Doing as little as possible.
50] ARE YOU PROUD TO BE BRITISH?
Yes, it is the only nationality that I have (I am Welsh as well but I’m not sure that it counts)