I've Been Watching Your World From Afar, I've Been Trying To Be Where You Are
So i've been really scared.....
Like scared to try athe whole dating scene...like i'm spooked...
i've already tried...and i dont think i've found a winner...like i just dont feel it...
liike i ono...annnd dont worry it's not gonna be one of those "oh i cant do it because i miss you know who reasons"
cuuz it totally isnt...
like i've juust been really scared..i guess it's cuz i dont have that charisma that i used to..when i would just totally own the room as soon as i walked in it...i ono...i just dont seem to have it anymore..i guess i can try working on it..i guess...like yeah i use to pull guys i like everyday and i'd be like why me...reaaally knowing why they did but i just like hearing it i ono i get kicks out of it. It's fun to know why someone picked you out of a wiiide variety of ppl...and they would respond with the usual "you're hot" or "you just had this personality that pulled me towards you" so i would be liike awww thanks...and then weeeeee'd pretty much hook up...or if lucky might even get together and be something more...but yeah...thats totally not like my life anymore...
Like i would loooove the dating scene i'd be meeting ppl like preeeety much everyday...like it was a fun thing..it was like a hunt or something...lol..it was fun....now i'm just scared..and i ono why...like i'm just scared i just sometimes get this fear of totally being rejected...like (i know this is gonna sound concieded but i'm totally not trying to be) i would neeever get rejected when ever i went up to someone...but also it was like i neever had to go to someone they always came to me....like it feels different...like i feel that if i try and walk up to someone that i'm totally gonna get like rejected and like looked down on....
like we went to the hamburger mary's last night right..which was totally thee shizzle..gonna be goin there like very damn friday!! like we had got done dancing right and we go sit cuz well we need our rest..and like me and will were talking and he said something like i could pull almost half the guys in there and like i thought to myself like not really..i'm to scared to even walk up to someone and i'm kiinda now in that state where it's how can i pull someon..theres nothing really all that special about me...like i dont see it really..like ppl will tell me...and i'm just liiike yeeah they're totally saying it to cheer me up...or like they're totally just trying to get in my pants...like yeah i dont see it...i know i'm like all i love my body i love me and i have no second thoughts about it...buut like i dont love how unconfident i am...like i really dont....like i mean sure i look great i mean come on ppl it's me like seriously..lol...but i juuust donthave that confidence to walk to someone and be like yeah you totally want me...like i juuuuussst dont ya know....and like...like i really dont...i mean will has it...liike it miiight not have been succesfull....but boo boo still did his thing and went for it..like i'm to scared to even walk up to someone....yeah sure to dance with them..but not like be all hey how's your night goin and stuff like that...like i just can't...i get shy annnd completely lock up...
Like i guess i can try and do it next week...and if not succesful the week after..lol...but yeah i guess this club opening is a good thing i mean ya know i can now try and work on the whole walking up to someone...annnd i'll see if i can be a gogo dancer there..lol...
MY GOODNESS WERE THEY HOT HOT HOT!!!
*drools thinking of the go go dancers*
they were a biit on the stiff side...dancing wise...they couldnt really dance that good..and i was just thinking to myself...i can dance better than them sheesh...wut kinda go go dancers are you..lol...but they did have like something better that me....annnnd that was their bodies...sheesh...those legs...*drools*...those ABS...*drools harder*....their manly pecks...*makes grabbing gesture*...annd...and...their firm and juicy booty!!!!...*completely faints*
thats about all they had goin for them..that and a cute face.....like but dancing...not soo good..i could out dance all of them if they wanted a dance off...lmao!
but yeah i juust might ask for an application or wut not next time i go...but yeah it was fun!!
soo yeah thats wuts pretty much been goin on in my head and wut not...
oh annd billy was thinking that we should like move in together not sure if that'll go but i have hopes for it...it would be pretty fun..i mean we both have jobs so we totally have money to pay for rent and stuff and billy is really responsible and like i can trust living with him..and like it'll also help me in the whole roomate thing...ya know...that way i dont do the whole living with self or with complete stranger..soo i want that to work out and wut not...soooooo i'm really gonna try and save up my money...cuz that would be pretty darn fun...it would be us two and not have to worry about waking up roomates or something...cuuz we soo would..lmao...like yeah...lol..but yeah that should be a fun thing to do...
but yeah....
thats about all thats goin on in my life and wut not....
yup....if you sat there and read ALL of this then you rule..lol...
I LOVE YOU ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS!!!
Like scared to try athe whole dating scene...like i'm spooked...
i've already tried...and i dont think i've found a winner...like i just dont feel it...
liike i ono...annnd dont worry it's not gonna be one of those "oh i cant do it because i miss you know who reasons"
cuuz it totally isnt...
like i've juust been really scared..i guess it's cuz i dont have that charisma that i used to..when i would just totally own the room as soon as i walked in it...i ono...i just dont seem to have it anymore..i guess i can try working on it..i guess...like yeah i use to pull guys i like everyday and i'd be like why me...reaaally knowing why they did but i just like hearing it i ono i get kicks out of it. It's fun to know why someone picked you out of a wiiide variety of ppl...and they would respond with the usual "you're hot" or "you just had this personality that pulled me towards you" so i would be liike awww thanks...and then weeeeee'd pretty much hook up...or if lucky might even get together and be something more...but yeah...thats totally not like my life anymore...
Like i would loooove the dating scene i'd be meeting ppl like preeeety much everyday...like it was a fun thing..it was like a hunt or something...lol..it was fun....now i'm just scared..and i ono why...like i'm just scared i just sometimes get this fear of totally being rejected...like (i know this is gonna sound concieded but i'm totally not trying to be) i would neeever get rejected when ever i went up to someone...but also it was like i neever had to go to someone they always came to me....like it feels different...like i feel that if i try and walk up to someone that i'm totally gonna get like rejected and like looked down on....
like we went to the hamburger mary's last night right..which was totally thee shizzle..gonna be goin there like very damn friday!! like we had got done dancing right and we go sit cuz well we need our rest..and like me and will were talking and he said something like i could pull almost half the guys in there and like i thought to myself like not really..i'm to scared to even walk up to someone and i'm kiinda now in that state where it's how can i pull someon..theres nothing really all that special about me...like i dont see it really..like ppl will tell me...and i'm just liiike yeeah they're totally saying it to cheer me up...or like they're totally just trying to get in my pants...like yeah i dont see it...i know i'm like all i love my body i love me and i have no second thoughts about it...buut like i dont love how unconfident i am...like i really dont....like i mean sure i look great i mean come on ppl it's me like seriously..lol...but i juuust donthave that confidence to walk to someone and be like yeah you totally want me...like i juuuuussst dont ya know....and like...like i really dont...i mean will has it...liike it miiight not have been succesfull....but boo boo still did his thing and went for it..like i'm to scared to even walk up to someone....yeah sure to dance with them..but not like be all hey how's your night goin and stuff like that...like i just can't...i get shy annnd completely lock up...
Like i guess i can try and do it next week...and if not succesful the week after..lol...but yeah i guess this club opening is a good thing i mean ya know i can now try and work on the whole walking up to someone...annnd i'll see if i can be a gogo dancer there..lol...
MY GOODNESS WERE THEY HOT HOT HOT!!!
*drools thinking of the go go dancers*
they were a biit on the stiff side...dancing wise...they couldnt really dance that good..and i was just thinking to myself...i can dance better than them sheesh...wut kinda go go dancers are you..lol...but they did have like something better that me....annnnd that was their bodies...sheesh...those legs...*drools*...those ABS...*drools harder*....their manly pecks...*makes grabbing gesture*...annd...and...their firm and juicy booty!!!!...*completely faints*
thats about all they had goin for them..that and a cute face.....like but dancing...not soo good..i could out dance all of them if they wanted a dance off...lmao!
but yeah i juust might ask for an application or wut not next time i go...but yeah it was fun!!
soo yeah thats wuts pretty much been goin on in my head and wut not...
oh annd billy was thinking that we should like move in together not sure if that'll go but i have hopes for it...it would be pretty fun..i mean we both have jobs so we totally have money to pay for rent and stuff and billy is really responsible and like i can trust living with him..and like it'll also help me in the whole roomate thing...ya know...that way i dont do the whole living with self or with complete stranger..soo i want that to work out and wut not...soooooo i'm really gonna try and save up my money...cuz that would be pretty darn fun...it would be us two and not have to worry about waking up roomates or something...cuuz we soo would..lmao...like yeah...lol..but yeah that should be a fun thing to do...
but yeah....
thats about all thats goin on in my life and wut not....
yup....if you sat there and read ALL of this then you rule..lol...
I LOVE YOU ALL MY DEAR FRIENDS!!!