open...
I don't know why she would like me.
I am overweight.
I am not very pretty, I'm not a dog or anything.
But, my genes weren't the most gorgeous.
She lives in an entire different world.
These are the sad and non-confident things that go through my mind.
I have a lot of issues with my body not being smaller. I am sad and afraid of how long it is going to take to get back to a healthier weight. I have to do manage to lose the weight this time. My oldest is getting really big and my youngest too.
I don't want them to have these problems in old age as I do. sadly, I don't think my kids remember me being smaller... It scares the crap of me, the time that it will take to get a hold of this self.
I do not know how in the world I am going to meet her, I swear I have the worse crushes, as they are usually some of the most out there likes and usually unobtainable.
I really want to be able to love someone that wants me, cherishes me, and wants me around to tell all about her day and all that.
I am scared that I have started crushing on another straight woman, haven't gotten clear signals yet. huh... I probably have.
I have decided to dump all my feelings and emotions here. I am tired of talking to the wrong people. I really hope she isn't, that I'm vining her correctly and she's at least bi.
I guess If she's willing we can be friends.
I am scared for my son. This is all I want to say about this. I really want to call her up now. But, we aren't like that... most likely won't ever be. But, I will try to be something.