"Never been much good on my own...so I'm trying to find somebody else"

Aug 22, 2005 00:50

Let me be honest, just so we don't have any illusions of who I am.

-I can rarely sit in any one position for more than 30 seconds.
-I have ADD and if I were 8 years old again I'm sure they would have me on some form of medication for it.
-I can instantly become bored with anything...its no ones fault I just have a wandering mind.
-I can't really control my anger when someone wakes me up.
-I also have little to no ability to tolerate people who do not know their jobs. Especially when I work with those people.
-I rarely raise my voice in actual anger.
-I have uncontrollable urges to move every 5-7 months.
-I love dogs and despise most cats.
-I feel lost if I don't have a watch on.
-I hate my cell phone but could not get through a day without it.
-I rarely sleep through an entire night without waking up.
-I get REAL drunk about 3 days outta the month. Deal with it.
-I've been known to smoke 2 packs of cigarettes and a Cuban cigar on nights I'm drinking.
-I despise smokers.
-I never done any illegal drugs and have no plans of changing that.
-I will repeat a story to you 15 times if you don't stop me.
-I am my favorite person most of the time...and I won't apologize for it.
-I let my hair do whatever it wants on the top. Don't ask me to change it 'cause I won't.
-I am fully capable of spending hours, if not days, alone with no problem.
-I have been known to "hide" occasionally.
-I have little to no fear of my own death
-I dread funerals or anything to do with them.
-I can't stand when someone new to my job tells me how to do things.
-I was the guy that told the old guys how to do their jobs when I started.
-I have a scar on my nose from a "baseball diamond bleachers" incident when I was 4 or 5.
-I assume all women are crazy until it is proved otherwise.
-I have never met a woman who has proved otherwise.
-I'm 99% sure that I will "settle down" in Pendleton
-I have FYOMS (Fifty Year Old Man Syndrome)...Just ask my fellow members of the Pendleton Historical Museum Board.
-I can form an entire sentence out of curse words.
-I would rather be cold than hot any day of the week.
-I like Fall more than any other season.
-I love a bon fire and a case of beer.
-I've been known to "surf" on aforementioned bon fire.
-I have no desire to enter burning buildings.
-I have had a life long dream of becoming a firefighter.
-I will, in the next 5-10 years, be the best paramedic in Madison County.
-I've only been in love once...unfortunately the feeling wasn't mutual.
-I have friends that can only be described as "characters."
-I doubt anyone could make up anyone as unusual as some of them.
-I had been pulled over 31 times before I got my first ticket.
-I still haven't slowed down.
-I'm not always the funny guy...sometimes I'm just mildly humorous.
-I've been known to pass out from over consumption of alcohol.
-I occasionally confuse epiphanies with gas.
-I spend large amounts of my time in pursuit of things for other people.
-I can teach you a CPR class if you need one.
-I have an unhealthy addiction to anything the involves the fire department.
-I have a large collection of famous, and not so famous, quotes.
-I always remember the quotes but never the author.
-I'm very conservative in my politics.
-I'm very liberal when it comes to my entertainment.
-I'm known to set things on fire from time to time.
-I believe very much in a person's right to own a gun.
-I seriously doubt my ability to shoot at anyone again.
-I never feel bad about hitting anyone.
-I enjoy people who are brutally honest.
-I don't take steroids, despite what you may think.
-I don't work out regularly nor do I plan to start.
-I am not above coloring my skin for a certain Mexican holiday.
-I will do nearly anything for my friends...including body disposal.
-I'll bitch about doing the smallest favor for said friends.
-I can be an asshole. Consider yourself warned.
-I am not, however, a "prick."
-I have been accused of being disorganized.
-I have a horrible short term memory.
-I never remember people's names.
-I enjoy nearly all forms of music.
-I can't stand rap and hip hop.
-I'm a Jason Mraz fan.
-I'm liable to hit someone for bad mouthing Johnny Cash, Elvis, or the A-Team.
-I forever have the song "Hang on Sloopy" playing in my head.
-I am the king of the "boot and rally" technique of puking.
-I have 90% of my family, out to 3rd cousins, living within 15 miles of me.
-I rarely see more than 6 of them.
-I can count and say "Whats up?" in Arabic.
-I can't think of much else to say about me.

-You just need to accept the above as truths and use them to your advantage.

PS-The Why Store rocked Verizon!
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