TW: WLS reference, food, triggers, etc.
I'd originally started to reply to the bra-sale post, but decided to create my own as my response got progressively longer, and then I started talking about other things that didn't have anything to do with that post. So...
I don't know if the OP edited the original post in some way, so forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but is what folks are saying that, because the OP even mentioned WLS, that it is somehow triggering? S/he didn't say "go and get it, it's awesome" or endorse or defend it in any way, shape or form other than saying s/he had it... is what people are saying that s/he's not even supposed to mention it in this forum?
Really?
And I'm honestly asking and not trying to be a troll or an asshole, I really need to understand this. That seems really extreme. I mean, take the stupid inappropriate sales post away from that post, and I'd think a "TW: WLS Reference" (like mine) would be appropriate here, not "omg take the post down right now, i'm triggered!"
Am I wrong?
If s/he'd said "I had WLS 5 years ago and it was so awful omg I really want to talk about it here on Fats and discuss how my body has changed with other fat people who might understand" would that be inappropriate for this community, even with a TW at the top of their post? Is Fats now a community where we can't actually even reference anything fat related because -- let's face it -- BEING fat in itself is pretty triggering or emotionally upsetting for a lot of fat people.
On certain days, just seeing people online wearing a size 14 calling themselves "FAT" really, really triggers a huge emotional, mental and physical response in me, as a deathfat at size 24/26. There are times when my history with food rears its ugly head and I don't even want to THINK about food, and someone posts a photo online of that one meal I had with my family where everyone watched with disgust as I shoveled food into my mouth and an aunt called me a fat, ugly pig -- that also triggers me. But does that mean it's not worth talking about, or referencing? Does that mean that photos of food or fats on the smaller end of the spectrum or any number of things that could trigger me PERSONALLY have no place in fat communities?
I am not trying to belittle anyone's experience, or make it seem like triggering isn't real or valid because, goddamn do I know it is! But at what point did we start saying "this topic triggers me and, therefore, doesn't belong here" as opposed to "please add a TW to this topic, it may be hurtful to people"? When did online fat communities become places where we can't actually discuss ANYTHING having to do with fatness unless it's a thing that we all share and/or experience so as to not trigger or upset anyone? Since when did we start pretending that fatness didn't intersect with anything, including things that might trigger strong feelings or emotions in others?
Yes, Fats is a place for fatshion, but over the years it also became a place for fat people to talk about fat issues, fat acceptance, fat activism, fat history, fat oppression, fat sex, fat experiences, even fat furniture (the Fats post on Ikea furniture is how I FOUND this community and began to learn about FA like 3 years ago). But now, it's like "FUCK YOU, you referenced an Ikea sofa and i broke an Ikea sofa last week and talking about it is triggering to me, so take that post down!" and it just seems so... ABSURD. Well, maybe not absurd, but definitely extreme to some degree.
Like, maybe to prevent shit like this in the future, people should put everything behind a cut and tag their posts with everything referenced. And I'm not even saying that to be sarcastic, for the most part. It seems like that would save a lot of hurt feelings, annoyances, and avoid triggers. Because triggering IS real, and everyone's feelings are important. If stuff is behind a cut, then folks can make the choice to continue reading at their own risk.
I just... I don't understand what the fuck happened to this community.
I don't know if the OP edited the original post in some way, so forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but is what folks are saying that, because the OP even mentioned WLS, that it is somehow triggering? S/he didn't say "go and get it, it's awesome" or endorse or defend it in any way, shape or form other than saying s/he had it... is what people are saying that s/he's not even supposed to mention it in this forum?
Really?
And I'm honestly asking and not trying to be a troll or an asshole, I really need to understand this. That seems really extreme. I mean, take the stupid inappropriate sales post away from that post, and I'd think a "TW: WLS Reference" (like mine) would be appropriate here, not "omg take the post down right now, i'm triggered!"
Am I wrong?
If s/he'd said "I had WLS 5 years ago and it was so awful omg I really want to talk about it here on Fats and discuss how my body has changed with other fat people who might understand" would that be inappropriate for this community, even with a TW at the top of their post? Is Fats now a community where we can't actually even reference anything fat related because -- let's face it -- BEING fat in itself is pretty triggering or emotionally upsetting for a lot of fat people.
On certain days, just seeing people online wearing a size 14 calling themselves "FAT" really, really triggers a huge emotional, mental and physical response in me, as a deathfat at size 24/26. There are times when my history with food rears its ugly head and I don't even want to THINK about food, and someone posts a photo online of that one meal I had with my family where everyone watched with disgust as I shoveled food into my mouth and an aunt called me a fat, ugly pig -- that also triggers me. But does that mean it's not worth talking about, or referencing? Does that mean that photos of food or fats on the smaller end of the spectrum or any number of things that could trigger me PERSONALLY have no place in fat communities?
I am not trying to belittle anyone's experience, or make it seem like triggering isn't real or valid because, goddamn do I know it is! But at what point did we start saying "this topic triggers me and, therefore, doesn't belong here" as opposed to "please add a TW to this topic, it may be hurtful to people"? When did online fat communities become places where we can't actually discuss ANYTHING having to do with fatness unless it's a thing that we all share and/or experience so as to not trigger or upset anyone? Since when did we start pretending that fatness didn't intersect with anything, including things that might trigger strong feelings or emotions in others?
Yes, Fats is a place for fatshion, but over the years it also became a place for fat people to talk about fat issues, fat acceptance, fat activism, fat history, fat oppression, fat sex, fat experiences, even fat furniture (the Fats post on Ikea furniture is how I FOUND this community and began to learn about FA like 3 years ago). But now, it's like "FUCK YOU, you referenced an Ikea sofa and i broke an Ikea sofa last week and talking about it is triggering to me, so take that post down!" and it just seems so... ABSURD. Well, maybe not absurd, but definitely extreme to some degree.
Like, maybe to prevent shit like this in the future, people should put everything behind a cut and tag their posts with everything referenced. And I'm not even saying that to be sarcastic, for the most part. It seems like that would save a lot of hurt feelings, annoyances, and avoid triggers. Because triggering IS real, and everyone's feelings are important. If stuff is behind a cut, then folks can make the choice to continue reading at their own risk.
I just... I don't understand what the fuck happened to this community.