OOTD; old photo, possible anxiety trigger
This was taken in February 2011, but it's an outfit that I've worn a few times and feel comfy in. (for those who would like my icon! snag if you want, just please credit me)
Tank Top: Lane Bryant
Knit overshirt/shrug: Lane Bryant
Pants: Union Bay (bought at a Fred Meyer)
Shoes: Birkenstock sandals
Earrings: Ear cuffs bought at the GA RenFair, feather earrings from Torrid
Right arm bracelet: made by me
Henna: done at the AZ RenFair
Necklace(s): gifts
Ring on left hand: birthday present
This was taken just one week before I had a meltdown. I was dealing with constant required overtime (it started September 2010), hadn't had any good sleep in months, could barely keep up at work, and couldn't be bothered to do anything but pass out when I was at home. One week after the photo was taken, I came home in tears and didn't stop crying until just before I went to bed. It was at that point that my sig other asked me if he needed to drive me up to the nearest hospital for a checkup and I managed to tell him 'no' in between sobs. The next day, however, I went right over to the Concentra (urgent care) that was near my then workplace and all but begged one of the doctors for some help. I was given a referral to my now GP, given some emergency meds, and within another week I was doing adjustments for a daily depression med. I was so scared about bringing it all up with a doctor; talking about the anxiety and the fear and the stupid panic attacks felt like I was setting myself up for a trip to a padded room. Instead I was given a phone number and a work order to prevent me from being on overtime and a gently spoken order for me to go do something relaxing. It was such a doozy of a first step but it felt so good to not be judged for it--because that was fueling my fear; 'they'll think I'm crazy, they're gonna [lock me away*]'. That fear was neatly pushed away by the nurses and doctor I spoke with.
Fast forward to now. The med works great; I'm still taking it and it's helped me get through some awful crap. It also got me into the right place so I could focus more on taking care of me. The above outfit is one that I reserve for the cooler months of the year (living in Arizona means I can get away with wearing sandals pretty much year-round; after living in Alaska this was amazing to me) and it feels so nice to have stuff that I look forward to wearing. And this outfit reminds me that I took charge of my life and my well being, with my sig other being supportive the whole way.
* edited per reader's request.
Tank Top: Lane Bryant
Knit overshirt/shrug: Lane Bryant
Pants: Union Bay (bought at a Fred Meyer)
Shoes: Birkenstock sandals
Earrings: Ear cuffs bought at the GA RenFair, feather earrings from Torrid
Right arm bracelet: made by me
Henna: done at the AZ RenFair
Necklace(s): gifts
Ring on left hand: birthday present
This was taken just one week before I had a meltdown. I was dealing with constant required overtime (it started September 2010), hadn't had any good sleep in months, could barely keep up at work, and couldn't be bothered to do anything but pass out when I was at home. One week after the photo was taken, I came home in tears and didn't stop crying until just before I went to bed. It was at that point that my sig other asked me if he needed to drive me up to the nearest hospital for a checkup and I managed to tell him 'no' in between sobs. The next day, however, I went right over to the Concentra (urgent care) that was near my then workplace and all but begged one of the doctors for some help. I was given a referral to my now GP, given some emergency meds, and within another week I was doing adjustments for a daily depression med. I was so scared about bringing it all up with a doctor; talking about the anxiety and the fear and the stupid panic attacks felt like I was setting myself up for a trip to a padded room. Instead I was given a phone number and a work order to prevent me from being on overtime and a gently spoken order for me to go do something relaxing. It was such a doozy of a first step but it felt so good to not be judged for it--because that was fueling my fear; 'they'll think I'm crazy, they're gonna [lock me away*]'. That fear was neatly pushed away by the nurses and doctor I spoke with.
Fast forward to now. The med works great; I'm still taking it and it's helped me get through some awful crap. It also got me into the right place so I could focus more on taking care of me. The above outfit is one that I reserve for the cooler months of the year (living in Arizona means I can get away with wearing sandals pretty much year-round; after living in Alaska this was amazing to me) and it feels so nice to have stuff that I look forward to wearing. And this outfit reminds me that I took charge of my life and my well being, with my sig other being supportive the whole way.
* edited per reader's request.