My younger sister is the same way. She is 5' and completely panics if she ever gets above a size 0 so she cannot understand how I can be a size 28. She is also exercise obsessed and does not eat meat (but does eat seafood, eggs and dairy)
She is also bulimic, an alcoholic (won't admit it though), pops pills constantly and has some serious mental issues. However...(insert sarcasm here) I can't talk to her about any of these unhealthy habits because SHE IS THIN AND I AM FAT. And she will absolutely blow a gasket (has a very, very violent temper) if I try to bring any of that up, so I don't. We've only spoken once (at our uncle's funeral) in the past 2 1/2 years. Mostly due to a blowout fight she had with my husband (and then proceeded to drag other family members into it, saying she believes my husband is abusive just because he called her out on her sh*t and she didn't like what he had to say) but honestly...this was coming due to her constant fake-concern-trolling toward me, among other nasty behavior towards me.
I have two aunts that are (milder) concern trolls as well, and just try to ignore it. One of these aunts lives just a few hours away and I see/talk to her a few times a year. She is truly a very kind person and I know she honestly does not mean to be nasty, so one of these days I may kindly call her out on it as I know she will listen to me. The other aunt is an older version of my sister and lives 2000 miles away. We rarely speak to her (or see her) anyway and I've decided it's not worth my energy to have that discussion.
I am very sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately, you can't choose your family and you usually can't change others' attitudes, I've learned. Do what you have to do to make yourself happy. If that means not speaking to her for awhile, you may be happier for it. Only you can answer that question. I feel I can no longer tolerate my sister's hateful and toxic behavior towards me and have decided I don't care to have a relationship with her unless and until her attitudes and behavior change significantly. But you may feel differently. I don't know how strong your relationship was with your sister prior to this, mine was on thin ice for many years.
In regards to your ETA: I think SOME health issues COULD be caused by excess weight, but could ALSO be caused by many other things. For example, I have joint pain that I personally believe is due to my extra weight, but I believe my sleep apnea is caused by ongoing sinus issues I've had since I was a child. I have found that many doctors will be quick to tell you if health issues are, in their opinion, due to excess weight.
Yes! Your situation is totally my twin! The temper, the shape obsession, her dislike of my spouse - our stories are sooo similar.
I'm not stressing about her messages last night. I just am clueless about what triggered it. It was kind of out of the blue, and it felt like she had all this angst built up and just dumped it all out at once. So weird!
She is also bulimic, an alcoholic (won't admit it though), pops pills constantly and has some serious mental issues. However...(insert sarcasm here) I can't talk to her about any of these unhealthy habits because SHE IS THIN AND I AM FAT. And she will absolutely blow a gasket (has a very, very violent temper) if I try to bring any of that up, so I don't.
We've only spoken once (at our uncle's funeral) in the past 2 1/2 years. Mostly due to a blowout fight she had with my husband (and then proceeded to drag other family members into it, saying she believes my husband is abusive just because he called her out on her sh*t and she didn't like what he had to say) but honestly...this was coming due to her constant fake-concern-trolling toward me, among other nasty behavior towards me.
I have two aunts that are (milder) concern trolls as well, and just try to ignore it. One of these aunts lives just a few hours away and I see/talk to her a few times a year. She is truly a very kind person and I know she honestly does not mean to be nasty, so one of these days I may kindly call her out on it as I know she will listen to me. The other aunt is an older version of my sister and lives 2000 miles away. We rarely speak to her (or see her) anyway and I've decided it's not worth my energy to have that discussion.
I am very sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately, you can't choose your family and you usually can't change others' attitudes, I've learned. Do what you have to do to make yourself happy. If that means not speaking to her for awhile, you may be happier for it. Only you can answer that question. I feel I can no longer tolerate my sister's hateful and toxic behavior towards me and have decided I don't care to have a relationship with her unless and until her attitudes and behavior change significantly. But you may feel differently. I don't know how strong your relationship was with your sister prior to this, mine was on thin ice for many years.
In regards to your ETA: I think SOME health issues COULD be caused by excess weight, but could ALSO be caused by many other things. For example, I have joint pain that I personally believe is due to my extra weight, but I believe my sleep apnea is caused by ongoing sinus issues I've had since I was a child. I have found that many doctors will be quick to tell you if health issues are, in their opinion, due to excess weight.
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I'm not stressing about her messages last night. I just am clueless about what triggered it. It was kind of out of the blue, and it felt like she had all this angst built up and just dumped it all out at once. So weird!
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