Of Books, Fat Positive AND Negative

[wingsfromashes]

Hello everyone

Comments

[charlottezweb]

OMG, I hate that! I'm so tired of the fat friend eating all the time, or wearing caftans, or being described so unattractively and in a way that makes it clear that the author is freaked out by the number but has no idae what that number looks like in person. There was a book, um, _She's Come Undone_, in which the main character is supposed to abt 200 or so and then the author notes that when she gets into a pickup truck, the truck dips under her weight. My head exploded. It's just like that terrible CSI ep where they determined that the victim was killed by the fat girl passing out on him and suffocating him. And they have Grissom say that with a straight face, a guy who weighs more than that. Guys who weigh 200 or more don't tip trucks or suffocate ppl, it's just chicks, because 200 on us is like 500 on a guy. Sorry for the off topic rant. :)

Maybe you could write the author and suggest that one, s/he is turning off an audience with their biased descriptions and that two, they visit the slideshow that shows how ppl look at different weights to readjust their perceptions.

[alasbabylon]

ugh, i hated that book, for several reasons, but that one being one of the greatest. though i think she was supposed to be more like 300 lbs, but the point still remains

[thirtiesgirl]

I'd be interested to hear your reasons for hating She's Come Undone. While I had some issues with the book, overall, I found it a realistic portrayal of a woman overcoming a traumatic childhood, a fucked-up relationship with a true asshole, and coming to terms with her body- and self-image. I like the fact that Lamb generally allowed her to do it on her own terms. She becomes her best self for herself, not for anyone else, having learned by trial and error that trying to be another person's definition of "your best self" is complete bullshit. The fact that she makes that discovery after her body returned to her standard weight was a positive message for me.

[alasbabylon]

i'm just not into fictional sob stories, the whole plot line felt cliche and predictable. it struck me as the sort of book that thin people would read and reinforce any stereotypes they had about fat women. but on the flip side i think i'd have enjoyed it more if she and the tattoo lady had shot her rapist and she'd had a healthy romantic relationship while fat, which is a predictable cliche in its own right

[thirtiesgirl]

If memory serves, she was not by any means thin when she began the relationship with Dante (the big, bearded dude) near the end of the book. While the story may reinforce some stereotypes about fat women, I think it also helped bust through a couple of big ones - namely, that fat women can't learn to love themselves, and fat women don't have healthy relationships, which I believe she was accomplishing by the end of the book.

[alasbabylon]

hmm, i thought she got with the guy she was basically stalking for years after she'd lost weight, then broke up with him and met the guy she tried to make babies with, and since her weight wasn't really mentioned i took it to mean that it was a 'non-issue', e.g. she was still thin. i guess that was the biggest glaring issue i had with it, that she only got happy/sane after she lost weight. but it's been a few years, my memory could be off...

[thirtiesgirl]

Yes, she got into an abusive relationship with the guy she'd been "stalking" after finding his photos and letters in her college roommate's dorm. She lost weight prior to hooking up with him and was thin during their relationship, but when she began to gain some back, he downgraded her.

It was years after she'd left that guy that she got involved with the big bearded guy she met in her community college writing class. From her personal growth and arc of self-acceptance, and the years in between relationships, I assumed that her body had returned to her standard weight because she was no longer obsessed with it. She may not have weighed 300 lbs as she did in high school and college, but was not the same person, in size and self, as she was when she hooked up with the abusive guy.

[rachet]

I read that book while being stuck in a house with a friend and her horrible mother during a 4 day blizzard.

When I was done, I calmly went over, opened the wood burning fireplace and tossed it in. It was only after a horrified look on my friend's face that I remembered it was her book, not mine.

I despised that book.

But I had to finish it or I wouldn't have closure.

[not_so_neato]

When I was done, I calmly went over, opened the wood burning fireplace and tossed it in. It was only after a horrified look on my friend's face that I remembered it was her book, not mine.

I think it's important to know that you are officially amazing.

[jeveuxsavoir]

I second this. It was a horrible stereotype of "people are fat because..." and "if you are fat, you will be treated like crap." The story was interesting, but I absolutely hated how it portrayed fat people. Hated it.

[thirtiesgirl]

And yet, so much of the treatment fat women receive, as Dolores experienced in the book, is unfortunately true. I do have issues with Wally Lamb's stereotype of the girl with the traumatic childhood who used food as an emotional/psychological comfort, and therefore became fat. This is but one explanation among many that people are fat. But using food as an emotional/psychological comfort *is* something that people do, fat, thin and in-between. You can't deny that it doesn't happen. Speaking as Dolores, I thought Lamb was accurate in her lack of self-esteem, her psychological make-up and rationale for the choices she made in her life. What was admirable was her strength, her developing sense of self, and the fact that she went through a lot of shit in her life (some by choice, some not) and came out of it a better person who was better able to love herself and allow love into her life.