Another day
Yesterday I ate really well. It seems that when I have a bad day, it really kicks me in the ass for the next couple to do well. I think of it as one tiny step back, a couple giant steps forward. I wish I could just psychologically fix myself though. I still have that "switch" that goes off when it comes to food. I don't think. Just eat. Then after I'm like.. wth?
I stepped on the scale this morning. I was 307.8, which is good because yesterday I was 308.6. ACK. I had clothes on, so I'll give myself, .3 for that. It's all a game, right? *sigh*
I've been having dreams about eating peanut butter. I have no idea what that's about. I was with my ex-coworker, Patty, at a store and I was eating out of a jar. I dropped it, and it split exactly in half, the long way. So I picked it up, and ate out of the half. I remember Patty rolling her eyes and saying "again??" What the hell was up with that???
I have the desire to work out.. but when it comes to actually doing it? I don't. ARGH! I wish I could just kick myself and move! I know I KNOW once I start doing it, I'll feel good and want to keep doing it. But what the hell is my problem? Why can't I get over this hump? I *NEED* to start working out. My skin is so flabby. I'm past my 50 lb buffer I gave myself. Maybe that's the problem. The buffer was just an excuse not to do it. Now I'm looking for a new one. My foot hurts. Does that count? Every fall my right foot gets sprained when I change shoes. It's weird. Just takes a while, but it heals.
I told Emily my weight. EEPS! I told her she is NOT to tell anyone. It's embarrassing. But when I reached my 1st goal, she wanted to know what it was. I told her no, because I didn't want her to tell anyone. She was begging "pleasssseee?" so I did. I can't help it. I always feel I want to be honest with her. Hope it doesn't backfire. Ugh. Anyways, she was all "wow!" at how much I've lost. I think it is because she has no concept that 300+ lbs is just... not good. I tried to tell her that even 200+ is not good. Hopefully this will sink in.
I do fear I'm creating a problem for Emily in the future though. It could go either way. *sigh*
And oddly enough? I can't wait for my physical. Hahah! I can't wait to see Amanda. I haven't seen her since.... May? So, she's going to be uber happy!!!! Is it ok to really love your doctor? She's just so nice. Takes the time to talk to me. Asks about mom and Emily because she knows them too from when Emily was a baby. It's just so nice.
Anyways. That's about all that's happenin'
I stepped on the scale this morning. I was 307.8, which is good because yesterday I was 308.6. ACK. I had clothes on, so I'll give myself, .3 for that. It's all a game, right? *sigh*
I've been having dreams about eating peanut butter. I have no idea what that's about. I was with my ex-coworker, Patty, at a store and I was eating out of a jar. I dropped it, and it split exactly in half, the long way. So I picked it up, and ate out of the half. I remember Patty rolling her eyes and saying "again??" What the hell was up with that???
I have the desire to work out.. but when it comes to actually doing it? I don't. ARGH! I wish I could just kick myself and move! I know I KNOW once I start doing it, I'll feel good and want to keep doing it. But what the hell is my problem? Why can't I get over this hump? I *NEED* to start working out. My skin is so flabby. I'm past my 50 lb buffer I gave myself. Maybe that's the problem. The buffer was just an excuse not to do it. Now I'm looking for a new one. My foot hurts. Does that count? Every fall my right foot gets sprained when I change shoes. It's weird. Just takes a while, but it heals.
I told Emily my weight. EEPS! I told her she is NOT to tell anyone. It's embarrassing. But when I reached my 1st goal, she wanted to know what it was. I told her no, because I didn't want her to tell anyone. She was begging "pleasssseee?" so I did. I can't help it. I always feel I want to be honest with her. Hope it doesn't backfire. Ugh. Anyways, she was all "wow!" at how much I've lost. I think it is because she has no concept that 300+ lbs is just... not good. I tried to tell her that even 200+ is not good. Hopefully this will sink in.
I do fear I'm creating a problem for Emily in the future though. It could go either way. *sigh*
And oddly enough? I can't wait for my physical. Hahah! I can't wait to see Amanda. I haven't seen her since.... May? So, she's going to be uber happy!!!! Is it ok to really love your doctor? She's just so nice. Takes the time to talk to me. Asks about mom and Emily because she knows them too from when Emily was a baby. It's just so nice.
Anyways. That's about all that's happenin'