It's Been So Long
Kinda makes me nostalgic writing in this all of a sudden. One of my old friends on here still updates her LJ regularly, and my life has become so differently changed... It hurts to look back and see the twisted little bitch I was when I was younger. Before I graduated high school. Before I went to college, before I met Kirby, before my mother died... before I had a baby. Yes, I had a baby, and he's a wonderful little boy. He's become my own little world, and it's changing all the time and in new terrifying ways that I cannot even comprehend.
I never once thought of myself as the nurturing type... I love him a lot... Just want to make sure he grows up healthy and strong. I have been worried that I've been putting him aside as often as I can for other things though; the first few months have been rough, I want to try and regain some of my old hobbies before I had to devote myself to my bebe. At any rate... I know I'm doing the best I can. That's all I guess i can hope for, I suppose.
I just got done sweeping the floors in the stairs, bathroom, upstairs hallway and our bedroom (while the baby was sleeping happily in his crib). My son... Aidyn. It's still a weird dream... I feel like I'm dreaming half the time. It must have something to do with the fact that I don't sleep well at ALL... Still have regularly interrupted sleep... it's still rough. I'm working at Burger King and Kir still stays home with the baby. He's a good father! I'm so proud of him and... honestly would have no idea what I would be doing or where I would be without him by my side. He was the reason I wanted - no, needed - a family. He really was. I'm exhausted.. I better head off to bed now...
I never once thought of myself as the nurturing type... I love him a lot... Just want to make sure he grows up healthy and strong. I have been worried that I've been putting him aside as often as I can for other things though; the first few months have been rough, I want to try and regain some of my old hobbies before I had to devote myself to my bebe. At any rate... I know I'm doing the best I can. That's all I guess i can hope for, I suppose.
I just got done sweeping the floors in the stairs, bathroom, upstairs hallway and our bedroom (while the baby was sleeping happily in his crib). My son... Aidyn. It's still a weird dream... I feel like I'm dreaming half the time. It must have something to do with the fact that I don't sleep well at ALL... Still have regularly interrupted sleep... it's still rough. I'm working at Burger King and Kir still stays home with the baby. He's a good father! I'm so proud of him and... honestly would have no idea what I would be doing or where I would be without him by my side. He was the reason I wanted - no, needed - a family. He really was. I'm exhausted.. I better head off to bed now...