New Fic! To Forgive...

Apr 16, 2007 18:35

Title To Forgive is the Hardest Trial One Can Face
Rating  PG? I cant remember if there's any bad language, some violence I guess and angsty-ness PG
Character Rodney McKay
Genre Angst, CharacterHistory
Disclaimer If I owned it, Rodney would have a rather woeful past

Summary Rodney thought he'd left her behind, but when an accident throws her back into the world of the SGC, O'Neill and Jackson are determined to get her to Atlantis. Can Rodney forgive and forget?

A/N: Here's another angsty Rodney history fic... I can't seem to escape them. I wrote this while having writers block for the sequel to The Program, which is now almost finished. However exams will prevent me from getting it done until after mid-May. But here's some Rodney angst. Enjoy.
Also, feedback is happiness.

To Forgive is the Hardest Trial One Can Face

Part One

Kath walked to the aeroplane with a smile on her face. She turned to Andrew Johnson, her CO for the past six months, just as they stopped outside the landing area.
“Glad to be getting out of here Connors?” He asked with a knowing look.

“Lets just say I’ll be looking forward to getting back to some boring old book work, sir,” she said as she watched a marine load up the luggage onto the plane.

“You scientists and your crazy ways,” he shook his head with a smile.

“And I’m one of the sane ones,” she grinned.

“So you tell us,” he raised an eyebrow. “I’ve yet to see any proof I’m afraid.”

“There’s hope for you yet, sir. Empirical proof; the basis of the hard sciences,” she said as they walked towards the plane.

“Get a move on Connors!” Jeffreys, the pilot, said as he climbed into the plane. “We’ve got some soldiers very eager to get back to the motherland,” he said loudly, which was followed by a loud cheer from the passengers.

“Better get a move on Lieutenant,” Johnson said with a quirk of his mouth.

“Yes sir,” she nodded. “Pleasure working with you sir,” she said, before performing a perfect salute, which Johnson returned with a smile, before stepping onto the plane.

She’d barely seated herself when there were panicked shouts coming from outside.

“What now?” she heard one of the marines mutter as she unstrapped herself again and got up to lean out of the window.

The next shout of “Incoming!” she heard as clear as day, and took a brief second to wonder what the target could possibly in the middle of nowhere, the only things here were the jeep that brought them…and the plane.

“Everyone out!” she shouted, but it was too late and with in seconds she felt something impact the ground nearby, looking out of the window only to find it was the jeep. “Come on!” she shouted as the passengers made a mad scramble to get out of the plane. They’d be sitting ducks out in the open, but the plane was to large and to combustible a target to remain inside.

One of the last out of the plane, she had just made it out when she heard a faint whistling noise and spotted it in her peripheral vision. She had just enough time to shout ‘Incoming’ and start running before it hit. She barely had time to feel the heat on her back as the explosion threw her from the aircraft and the impact knocked her unconscious.

* * *

Rodney remembered the first time he truly felt like he hated his parents. When his mother told him he couldn’t be friends with their new neighbour, that Jeannie had made friends with her first and he would just have to make his own, he had wanted to scream. Wanted to scream that he had seen her first, that she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and that all he wanted to do was protect that. To protect her.

But a nine year old Rodney McKay had to settle for watching from afar as his four year old sister played with her new friend.

At least, he’d thought sourly at the time, it meant he could watch out for both of them. Even if he couldn’t do it from up close, he could still make sure they were safe.

* * *

When Katherine opened her eyes again, a month later, she was more than a little disorientated. She blinked at the stark hospital room, and moved her head (and ow damn it!) to look out of the window. Trees. Lots of green and bright colours. The last thing she remembered was dust and sand and…

“Miss Connors?” a female voice startled her and she looked back to find a nurse standing over her bed.

“I-” she started, but her voice failed her.

“Let me get you some water, and a Doctor,” the nurse smiled. “You might be a little confused.” Kath could only nod.

Once her throat has been suitably refreshed and a Doctor called, Kath was ready to start questioning.

“Where am I?” she asked as soon as the Doctor entered with the nurse trailing behind him. Kath ignored her as she prepared to take her blood pressure, just looked intently at the Doctor.

“Do you remember what happened?” he asked. He glared, answering a question with a question, great. She noticed his uniform under his white coat.

“The last thing I remember,” she frowned. “I wasn’t in America, that’s where I am now right?” she asked the nurse, who nodded. “No I was on a tour- Colonel Johnson, he was my CO,” she paused.

“How much do you remember of that mission? How long had you been out there?” the Doctor asked.

“I- about a month? I think,” she frowned, and glanced up to see a worried expression on both their faces. “What?” she demanded.

“Katherine, you were out there for five months. You suffered a sever head injury and so were brought back,” he paused. “You’ve been a coma for a month,” he finished gently.

“How did I-? I mean I don’t,” she stopped and the nurse laid a reassuring hand on her arm. “I don’t remember,” she said quietly.
 * * *

It was only when he was thirteen and she was put ahead two years and ended up in Rodney’s year that he really got to speak with her. They’d exchanged smiles and small talk over the years, but never much more, Rodney’s fear of his parent’s anger always held him back. But when the teachers decided, that as the most ahead pupil in the year (he’d have skipped a few years by now himself if he had handed in all their pathetically unimaginative and mundane assignments), he was the best candidate to get her up to speed.
The fact that she was so intelligent, despite having been deprived contact with him, impressed Rodney. But then again, she could have picked it up from Jeannie, who had obviously picked up her eagerness to learn and keen intellect from him. So really, in the end, he deserved some of the credit.

She didn’t really have too much to catch up on. She had done a lot of extra work in her free time, and anything new she tended to pick up pretty easily and quickly. When she stumbled on something she always persevered and triumphed in the end. Nonetheless it took her a few months to get up to speed.

When she finally took her first test with the rest of their class and aced it, she sort Rodney out immediately, and despite already being one of the more popular girls in her year, proceeded to hug the biggest geek in the school.

For years, it was the happiest memory Rodney ever had.
 * * *

In the end Kath had given up trying to remember, it only frustrated her. The doctors said her memory may never come back, but either way it was best not to induce any stress by trying to force it.
She spent most of her days alone in her room, having the occasional conversation with the nurses (more with a particularly cute one called Tom who flirted with her shamelessly, despite the fact she must look like shit, she supposed it was probably in his job description).

It was wholly depressing, she thought, that no-one had visited her for the entirety of her stay. She’d grilled the nurses to find out about the month in which she was in her coma. It was more the fact that she had no-one to visit her that was depressing. After that realisation, she spent a fair few days wallowing in self pity, before her realisation was proved wrong by her first visitor.

“Kath!” she exclaimed and rushed into the room. “Are you okay?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “I’m sorry, they couldn’t get hold of us. And how sweet is it that I’m listed as one of your next of kin?” she asked with a smile, but with barely a pause. “We’ve moved since then so the address was wrong,” she said and finally to a break for air. Kath grinned.

“Hi Jeannie,” she said happily.
 * * *

When Rodney stopped talking to her after the tutoring had finished she called him on it. Went on and on, until he finally broke and told her what his parents had told him when he was nine. She’d looked shocked for a moment, before giving him a blinding and wicked smile and then saying ‘We’ll have to make sure they don’t find out then, won’t we’. And Rodney thought that maybe this was what having a friend was like.

* * *

Her second visitor was most definitely a shock. Whilst she’d encountered General Jack O’Neill often throughout her career, they weren’t friendly enough for one to visit the other in the hospital. But then again, Jack O’Neill was a rather strange guy in many ways, maybe he visited a lot of people he barely knew when they were in hospital.
He entered with a grin and seated himself in the most comfortable chair in the room (after carefully testing all three, much to her amusement). He then proceeded to ask her about her health, and then discussed mundane things like the weather, the cake in the canteen….

“General!” she exclaimed, when she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yes?” he said innocently with a smile, Kath rolled her eyes.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the visit, but is there any other reason why you’re here?” she asked.

“Well,” he said, leaning forward in his chair. “Now that you mention it, there is.” She managed to hold in her sigh of exasperation. “You’re most likely going to be on medical leave for a while yet,” he said. She nodded in agreement.

“Even when I’ve fully recovered they’re not going to want me out in the field for months,” she agreed.

“Maybe longer,” he added. “But you got your smarts,” he grinned. “There’s nothing to stop you working as a civilian.”

“No, I guess not,” she said slowly. “You know its possible I would have thought of that on my own,” she said with raised eyebrows.

“Actually I had a job in mind,” he said with as smile.

“I don’t know if I’d want to go back to the SGC,” she said with a frown.

“There’s other ways you could be a part of the program,” he said innocently. Kath frowned for a moment, how could she-? He raised his eyebrows as a look of realisation dawned on her face.

“No,” she said shortly.

“Look, I know you said no the first time, but its not a one-way trip anymore,” he began.

“I said no the second time too!” she exclaimed.

“Because you’d already committed to a tour-”

“No, because…” she trailed off.

“Because why?”

“Look,” she said, looking down at her hands. “That expedition is for the best and the brightest,” she paused and looked up at him.

“Exactly,” he smiled.
 * * *

When she told him that Graham Mitchel had asked her to get icecream with him, he nodded absently and pulled the blanket closer around them. The roof of the garage wasn’t exactly the warmest of places at night, even in the summer. It took a few seconds for what she said to actually register.
The captain of the football team had asked her on a date.

He was tempted to rant about how thirteen was far to young an age for that type of thing, before he realised how it sounded.

“Great,” he smiled. “Really, that’s great.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, laying down and looking up at the stars.

“Cool,” she smiled, and laid down next to him.
 * * *

General O’Neill had left him a file with some of the recent projects on Atlantis that she might find interesting, as well as detail what her position would entail. She’d yet to look at it, but she suspected that the fact that it was laying out in the open on her bedside table was the reason she kept getting visits from people she barely knew from the SGC.
Which was why it was a relief when Daniel came to visit her.

“Hey,” he smiled as he entered.

“Hey Daniel,” she said sitting up. “What, no flowers?”

“I figured you probably had quite a few of them by now,” he said, looking round the room and frowning at the lone vase of flowers on the window sill.

“Yeah, I got one of the nurses to give them out to anyone who didn’t have any. They were making the place look irritatingly…cheerful,” she said.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that would we?” he said, coming in and sitting down. “How you feeling?” he asked.

“Bored out of my mind,” she said honestly. “And shocked about how many visitors I’ve had, you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” she asked. Daniel shrugged innocently, eyes betraying him by glancing to the folder on the bedside table. “Tell General O’Neill he should just post a guard outside my room,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“I’ll pass that on,” he nodded. “So, you thought anymore about going on the expedition yet?” he asked.

“Haven’t even opened it yet,” she said, gesturing toward the folder.

“You should,” he smiled. “You’d be fantastic.”

“Well obviously, its Atlantis,” she said with a grin.
 * * *

In the end, after a lot of door slamming and kicking things, Rodney had accepted that he was no longer necessary to her. It’d been weeks since he’d seen her properly, she was far too busy nowadays with Graham.
It wasn’t like he was jealous. Well okay, he was. But not in a how dare you date her, I want to date her way. Just in a she’s mine damn it, you don’t get to have her too kind of way. Which he realised was ridiculous, she wasn’t a possession that he could own. Knowing that didn’t stop him from slamming any doors though.

When he’d finally got over it (or so he told himself) just happened to be the day he caught Graham Mitchel making out with Rebecca Knight in one of the science labs at lunch. He resisted the urge to do anything until lunch the next day, when he saw them at it again.

Rodney had never hit anyone before, but he was a year older than Graham and had had the element of surprise on his side, as Graham had been distracted at the time. It was more the shock than any skill or force behind the first punch which knocked him for six, which gave Rodney time to assess his handy work and decide it was far from good enough, and also that practice made perfect.

When Graham could talk again past his swollen lip, he broke up with her. He never told her why, and neither did Rodney.
 * * *

When she returned to the SGC again Kath couldn’t keep the smile off her face. There was something about this place, that despite the fact that for all intents and purposes it was the gate to hell, made her feel comfortable.
She made her way down to level 27, with her military escort never leaving her side, and towards General Landry’s office. She knocked tentatively and turned the handle when she heard a gruff ‘Enter’. General Landry looked up at her from his behind his desk and General O’Neill turned round to see her.

“Sirs,” she nodded in greeting.

“Hank, this is Lieutenant Katherine Connors,” O’Neill introduced her.

“Ah yes,” he nodded. “A pleasure to meet you. Take a seat,” he gestured to the empty chair.

“Thank you ,sir,” she smiled. “But I actually just wanted to give this back to General O’Neill,” she said, holding out the file O’Neill had given her a month ago when he’d visited her.

“Thanks,” he said lightly. “Read it?” he asked.

“Maybe,” she answered vaguely.

“So what brings you here Lieutenant?” he asked.

“Daniel wanted to show me something,” she said with a smirk, O’Neill raised his eyebrows.

“I’m sure he does,” he said with a smirk of his own

“Don’t tell me he showed you first, sir?” she said, sounding disappointed.

“Oh no, he’s saved it just for you. Believe me, I have very little interested in what he wants to show you,” he said. Landry looked amused, before clearing his throat.

“I thought perhaps you were here for the interviews for the Atlantis expedition,” he said.

“Funny thing that sir, I didn’t know they were today until you said that.” She watched as General O’Neill tried to hide his smile. “I may have suspected thought,” she added.

“Well, if you have a spare half hour, I’m sure Doctor Weir and her staff would be able to fit you in,” Landry said.

“I’m sure that they would sir,” she said. “Thank you,” she added, before leaving the office to the sound of O’Neill’s devious laugh.
Part 2

ofc, fic, mckay, sga

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