the goose is not a fan of comic books;

[fathergander]

[Private to Townsend]

Nine more books? Are you insane?

That's right, I caught your little MSNBC interview, Jillian. Would you please do me the favour of answering the following question:

Are you COMPLETELY incapable of discretion?

Comments

Anser

[strawtogold]

Not by a long shot. I just know how to milk a thing for all the money it's worth.

What do you mean, discretion? I didn't say anything and you know it.

Is this about the bonnet?

Townsend.

[fathergander]

Oh please, the whole thing was practically one enormous tongue-in-cheek finger waggle to the Atheneum. 'Taken ideas from my own life'? All this talk about secret identities?

This is not about the bonnet.

Anser

[strawtogold]

Oh, come on, I was being charming and playful. No one's going to know, they just think I'm eccentric and weird like all the other graphic novelists.

I drew you a new one for the fourth book.

Townsend.

[fathergander]

You were being nothing of the sort. What you were being was irresponsible and reckless, which are characteristics already evident enough in your abysmal series alone.

You're toeing the line here, Pierce.

Anser

[strawtogold]

Anser, relax. The average person is not going to say to himself, "Hey, you know what? I think the guy who writes fiction about fairy tale superheroes is really the reincarnation of the woman from Rumpelstilskin!" Anyone who'd be able to figure out anything at all is one of us already.

It's got flowers and lace, Jacob.

Townsend.

[fathergander]

Well then, we're clearly safely guarded against the average person; unfortunately, that leaves a significant and considerably more dangerous contingent of whackos and nutjobs quite ready to take such a generous leap.

Die. In a fire.

Anser

[strawtogold]

Anser, no one is going to think I'm a Fairy Tale. Just like no one is going to think I'm a superhero. And anyone insane enough to make that leap isn't someone anyone would take seriously anyway.

Oh, come on, Jacob. I draw you a new bonnet and you tell me to die. That's not very nice. This is why we can't have nice things.

You know what my agent wrote me about the other day? Action figures. Wouldn't that be amazing? I'll send you some pictures of the Mother Goose prototype. I think they perfectly captured that je ne sais quoi about you.

Townsend.

[fathergander]

[a little scribble]

Just keep your identity under wraps if you're going to go through with this. The last thing we need is the community finding out you're behind these bastardizations. We'd have riots.

And for the love of god, do not tell Kilroy.

Anser

[strawtogold]

If I wanted anyone to know who I was, I wouldn't have worked so hard making a secret identity for myself, right? Trust me, no one's ever going to know who I am.

Not excited about the prospect of a movie, Anser? I bet we could get someone good to play you. Maybe Harrison Ford.

Townsend.

[fathergander]

Don't make me hurt you.

I have at my disposal both a gargantuan man-bull and a rather aggressive, and well-trained, attack dog.