Ego Makes It Unfair
The third definition of ego as defined by Dictionary.com is "A. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit. B. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem." I will grant you that having pride in oneself and ones accomplishments is important. It is important in defining who we are and our self-worth. But when our pride is meant to impress upon others our imagined superiority, then it becomes conceit, and conceit is the root of all evil. Ego has been described as "an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others." Why is it that we must feel superior to others? That's right children ... pleasure. People who love power want to feel superior to those around them because it brings them pleasure. And pleasure at the cost of others is a sin by any definition. Now I'm not necessarily a religious man, but I do believe there are sins out there which everyone should be accountable for. Murder and lying are the prime ones, but i'd also think pleasure at the cost of others is pretty important as well. Now I've been picked on all my life because of my weight. You may say I'm only taking this view because I've never been on the other side. I don't want to be on the other side. Many of those people were cruel, callous, uncaring, unforgiving, and self-serving. I don't want to be like that. I don't need that kind of pleasure. All I want is respect and equality. Why is that so hard to get? Why can't I respect my fellow man and in return be respected by him? Even worse, why can't people step up and take the responsibility for their actions? There is this lazy, self-serving attitude that has swept our nation. People don't want to be the kind of people they should be because it requires too much of them. It requires that they live up to standards they threw away long ago. I'll give you an example. My neighbor owes me money. He has income and is able to pay his bills, and yet he looks to me to provide part of his income (this owing to the fact that I've hired him in the past to do part-time work). Well I'm sorry, but with my finances the way they are now, I can't do it. So now, suddenly, he's in a bind because he doesn't know how to manage his finances. He's unwilling to sit down and go over his bills and say "I've got to budget." He won't quit smoking. He won't quit buying his pop, and in the past two months he wrote four bad checks, two of them for cigarettes. After realizing that, I stopped giving him any money whatsoever. I had been helping him out when he needed it and I could afford it, but his irresponsibility should not be my problem, especially since he already owes me money. Why should I take up the slack for his ego? If I was in his position, I would quit smoking no matter how hard it is. Stop buying expensive things that eat through you're finances like acid, and budget my money as best I could. If bills are late, so be it. If I have to cut down on the amount of food I eat, so be it. I wouldn't imposition other people until there was nothing else I could do myself. So there it is again - ego. I don't believe he thinks he's better than I am. But if he respected me enough, he wouldn't imposition me until there was nothing else he could do. Why would you want to take advantage of somebody? Why would you not want to earn a living for yourself, and take responsibility for your actions? Here's another example. I have a friend whose ex-husband is a peach. He has fathered four kids (that we know of), two to one woman and two more to my friend. He doesn't pay all of the child-support he should. He doesn't take care of his children like a father should. He cheated on his wife at a whim and took off with the affair, and now has nothing to do with any of his family. He doesn't understand the concept of a family. He doesn't take responsibility for his children. Now he's going to have the law after him because he won't stand up and be a man. The question is, will that be any better? Because let's say the law catches him and puts him in jail. Then there won't be any child support for my friend. She's stuck in a no-win situation because he's a dick. All she ever did was be a loving mother and wife, doing her best to hold the household together, while he goes off to fuck somebody else not once but twice. And yet my friend is still paying for his playtime. What does he get? He gets a slap on the wrist from a partial judge, a child support payment that isn't enough, and the girl he wants to be with, while my friend suffers. Why do good people suffer? Ego, plain and simple. If he didn't think he was better than his situation, and take responsibility for his actions, my friend wouldn't be suffering. So is there anything I can do about it, besides just bitching? The only thing I can do is maintain what I believe to be an honorable cause. I'll still try to respect others as much as possible. I'll still try to believe that I'm no better than they are. I'm not always successful because we are all imperfect, but I'll still try. Hopefully, some good will come of it someday. That old saying comes to mind, "Nice guys finish last." If the world was a fair place, nice guys would finish first. Who's gonna help me make the world a fair place?