(no subject)
The car tore up a few days ago. It died in the middle of town, at the intersection, and water and coolant poured out all over the asphalt in a rather gruesome display. Good fortune was with us because this happened to occur when we actually had some money. My screwed up luck would dictate that this sort of thing would happen when there is no money in the bank and no minutes on the phone to call for help.
There really is no help unless I want to bother a cousin, which I did yesterday with great regret. She took me to get the car and it was still torn up. Even more money. Yay.
My children went to school today, thank goodness. I was afraid there would be a truant officer at the door because they had missed two days due to the broken car. My 17 year old son's 17 yr old girlfriend came all the way over and picked them up. I was nervous but they made it safely. I couldn't sleep last night thinking of three kids alone, traveling in a car. They will be traveling back home today, after school. I need valium!!! (Actually that would make me sick.) I hate living here. I want to go home. The kids want to go home. This is a bum deal for them. It doesnt really matter for me because I have no social life and no real desire for one but it is not fair to the kids. I wish I had a sister or brother to share my mother with so I didn't have to try to look after her all by myself. Not being able to work is HORRIBLE. If her blood sugar stays up I am going to go back to work. If I don't, we are going to be carless, internetless, insuranceless, clothesless, etc. The money situation just keeps getting worse and worse. This place keeps getting darker and darker. My mother keeps getting more and more negative. She shuffles into the room with that judgemental look and that poison tongue poised to give some unsolicited "advice" for my own good to "help me."
. UGH!!!