I'm a wet cat on a pedestal

[fatespawn]

So a long time ago there was a group of kindly researchers who came up with an ingenious* experiment to determine the effects of REM sleep deprivation on the immune system. Knowing that REM sleep makes it impossible to maintain muscle tension they decided to put cats on little pedestals in a big pool. When the cats fell asleep the locked their

Comments

[projectparadox]

I'm sure you've probably tried this, but I'll go ahead and make the obvious suggestion of ear plugs. I know they worked wonders for me when I lived in Brown. If your concern is about waking up on time in the morning (i.e., not hearing the alarm clock), just consider which is worse: 1) Getting to work on time but being narcoleptic all day or 2) Getting to work a few minutes late but being well-rested, happy, and able to do a good job. It's the lesser of two evils, my friend, the lesser of two evils.

[lyleonline]

Also, if you have a cat, it will jump on you and wake you up if you don't respond to its cries, often long before the alarm would have woken you. It works for me.

[fatespawn]

So...the combined suggestion from you two is to get ear-plugs and then replace my alarm clock with a cat? I'll...um, think about that.

My main problem with any such solution is the tacit acceptance that this problem is going to persist forever. The fundamental fact here is that $900 is not a rent that is being paid for an apartment that wakes me up at 4. It causes me anger and despair.

[lyleonline]

How long are you stuck there? Are you considering subletting? I take it you live under someone and there isn't a giant rodent stomping on or in the roof. Which happens.

[fatespawn]

No, we're on the 9th floor with no one above us. I'm fairly sure it's steam going through the pipes when they turn on the boiler in the morning.

We'll be here until the end of next August. It's a very nice place except for this recent problem.

[panthera_onca]

Also, after replacing your alarm clock with the cat, put the cat on a pedestal surrounded by icy water. In comparison with the cat, you will feel well-rested.

[fatespawn]

That's a fantastic idea. I could wake up and just shove the cat into the water. "Sucker." It would be like that first cup of coffee, but with less chemicals and more evil.