"I feel used, like we were a substitute for what she was missing, and now that she has it back, that's it for us."
I can relate to that feeling you're going though all too well. Its happened to me a few times in the past with people I was close to as well. I know that this is kinda old now and you're probably over this initial feeling, but since noone seems to have replied to it and you seem to need some advice, I hope that you won't mind if I attempt to do so. I don't really know you, not anymore anyway, but it almost sounds like you're putting too much of yourself into others around you. The thing is, people will change, it can vary greatly and go from one extreme to another. What might be your best friend today may end up being your worst enemy tomorrow. It's always a hard thing to experience and deal with, but it's just some thing we have to accept sometimes. We can't change people, we can guide, advise, suggest, and so forth as much as we can, but it's up to them, themselves, to make and take the roads they choose to walk. This former friend of your's sounds like a real catch. I'll bet anything that she was using you for some sort of attention. One thing I've gathered about people that do this is that, they themselves are not secure with who they are and how they are. With people like this, they depend on others to do certain things they think they can't do, feel, or gain. I'm guessing she may have had you as a friend only because the people she really carried about or someone(s) she felt could "play the role" better came into the picture. I'm not fully sure if that's why she changed on you or if you, yourself, played any role towards her feeling the need to change, but you can't let her actions and attitude get the best of you. I can understand you're going through some rough times. The lose of a friend, pets, questioning your relationship, and the life you're leading now, but you have to accept things for how it is and keep moving forward. Even though the entire world can and will change around you, the one thing you have that will always be there for you, is yourself. It's only thing that was there from the beginning and will be there at the end. As long as you can make yourself content and strong, you can deal with any change. Earlier I mentioned it seeming like you are putting too much of yourself on others. What I meant by that is this... A lot of these emotions you are feeling right now are overwhelming you simply because you are allowing them to and the reason those emotions feel like they're running around like headless chicken are from you depending on others to sort it out. Only you can change how you feel and how you think, not anyone else. I know it can be hard, but you have to learn to accept the things that are not in your life anymore, and find the answers within yourself to all your questions you have, big or small, or else there will always be that uneasiness within. The idea behind this is to stop looking at everything as black or white with you standing on top of it all, but instead as one big grey field of possibilities with you standing in it. Now think of it like this, that grey field is like a dense fog that you, with the only flashlight, can guide yourself through. I hope that made sense, lol. Some people can and will be there to support you and help you through, but you don't know for sure if that will change or not. All you can do is simply accept it for what it is and go with it for as long as it continues to be that way, but always remember and accept that it could and may change as well.
Again, I don't really know you anymore, I could be completely off with this advice, but from what I gathered on here, I hope that this will help you. You used to always say, "Change or die", a phrase I know you beleived a lot in a long time ago. I wonder if you still believe that or not. I think it's a tad harsh, but sort of true to a degree. True, you can't always stay the same, but also, there will always be things that you will want to change about yourself and your life. True, you can fall behind or die if you don't change, but how can you change fully without accepting certain things in your life? Personally, my take on the phrase should not be "Change or die", but rather "Accept and move on". Well, I guess I'll leave this at that then. I don't know weither or not you're still feeling these things or if you'll even read this, but I do hope that some of what I said in this will help you through the tough times. Either way though, I hope you will be able to sort it all out eventually, regardless if you take any of the advice I've typed here or not.
like we were a substitute for what she was missing, and now that she has it back, that's it for us."
I can relate to that feeling you're going though all too well. Its happened to me a few times in the past with people I was close to as well. I know that this is kinda old now and you're probably over this initial feeling, but since noone seems to have replied to it and you seem to need some advice, I hope that you won't mind if I attempt to do so.
I don't really know you, not anymore anyway, but it almost sounds like you're putting too much of yourself into others around you. The thing is, people will change, it can vary greatly and go from one extreme to another. What might be your best friend today may end up being your worst enemy tomorrow. It's always a hard thing to experience and deal with, but it's just some thing we have to accept sometimes. We can't change people, we can guide, advise, suggest, and so forth as much as we can, but it's up to them, themselves, to make and take the roads they choose to walk.
This former friend of your's sounds like a real catch. I'll bet anything that she was using you for some sort of attention. One thing I've gathered about people that do this is that, they themselves are not secure with who they are and how they are. With people like this, they depend on others to do certain things they think they can't do, feel, or gain. I'm guessing she may have had you as a friend only because the people she really carried about or someone(s) she felt could "play the role" better came into the picture. I'm not fully sure if that's why she changed on you or if you, yourself, played any role towards her feeling the need to change, but you can't let her actions and attitude get the best of you.
I can understand you're going through some rough times. The lose of a friend, pets, questioning your relationship, and the life you're leading now, but you have to accept things for how it is and keep moving forward. Even though the entire world can and will change around you, the one thing you have that will always be there for you, is yourself. It's only thing that was there from the beginning and will be there at the end. As long as you can make yourself content and strong, you can deal with any change.
Earlier I mentioned it seeming like you are putting too much of yourself on others. What I meant by that is this... A lot of these emotions you are feeling right now are overwhelming you simply because you are allowing them to and the reason those emotions feel like they're running around like headless chicken are from you depending on others to sort it out. Only you can change how you feel and how you think, not anyone else. I know it can be hard, but you have to learn to accept the things that are not in your life anymore, and find the answers within yourself to all your questions you have, big or small, or else there will always be that uneasiness within.
The idea behind this is to stop looking at everything as black or white with you standing on top of it all, but instead as one big grey field of possibilities with you standing in it. Now think of it like this, that grey field is like a dense fog that you, with the only flashlight, can guide yourself through. I hope that made sense, lol. Some people can and will be there to support you and help you through, but you don't know for sure if that will change or not. All you can do is simply accept it for what it is and go with it for as long as it continues to be that way, but always remember and accept that it could and may change as well.
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Well, I guess I'll leave this at that then. I don't know weither or not you're still feeling these things or if you'll even read this, but I do hope that some of what I said in this will help you through the tough times. Either way though, I hope you will be able to sort it all out eventually, regardless if you take any of the advice I've typed here or not.
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