Believe...?
(Final entry in a month-long RP thread done via forums. One of the best entries.)
Sonechka sat at the edge of the large fountain in the backyard, the fountain created from the armor of a dreadlord that she and Jineah had brought down long seasons ago. The trickling of water over the ridges in the armor was soothing, soft, peaceful, and she trailed her fingertips in the pool, watching the ripples distort the reflections of the sky and herself.
It had turned out alright, after all.
Jineah was back, in her and Missing's arms, her faith in herself reaffirmed. She had taken up her courage and faced her fear of Kat and had spoken to the Lady, and whatever had taken place in that conversation had assured her enough that she had returned with a fire and passion that Sonechka had not seen in many long nights. Missing was home as well, so in the dark nights when the howling chaos was too close to her mind, she could bury herself in the soft scent of feminine skin and forget, for a while.
But, like a mouth-wound one cannot help but keep probing, she could feel the cracks in herself, still. She was sharper, she felt it, knew it when she spoke to potential Cats- she showed her demonic side, her raging side, her hungry side- more readily. It simmered just behind her eyes now, springing to the fore so much faster than she had ever allowed it before.
It was that, or the howling, screaming blackness. Blackness that had a beauty that was as enticing as a spider's web to a fly. It was the release of control, release of self, release of all the expectations and responsibilities and burdens that her shoulders bore day after day and the embrace of living moment to deadly, destructive moment. It was madness, it was emptiness, it was everything she feared and desired most. And, anymore, it hovered just at the edge, just beyond the room of masks she had meticulously built.
Her fingertips splashed the water in the pool and she watched the ripples spread violently over the surface then fade away. Should the day come when she could not face herself in the mirror, when her temper slipped her reins and ran rampant over the face of Azeroth, what then? Would she have Jineah's courage, Missing's fortitude? Would she walk away from them?
Could she give this life up?
She scowled, the beauty of her face transfigured into something menacing and cruel by the expression. The ripples in the pool warped her reflection, made her into a monster. She glared, then burst into soft laughter and stuck her tongue out at herself, making a silly face and splashing the pool again until there were just shards of unrecognizable colors.
The darkness fled for a while as she turned to her bastion of light. Candleflames flickered in the Hall windows, welcoming her in. Smiling, she turned her back on the fountain and sat, watching the Hall and ignoring the insidious draw of the howling black.
For now.
Sonechka sat at the edge of the large fountain in the backyard, the fountain created from the armor of a dreadlord that she and Jineah had brought down long seasons ago. The trickling of water over the ridges in the armor was soothing, soft, peaceful, and she trailed her fingertips in the pool, watching the ripples distort the reflections of the sky and herself.
It had turned out alright, after all.
Jineah was back, in her and Missing's arms, her faith in herself reaffirmed. She had taken up her courage and faced her fear of Kat and had spoken to the Lady, and whatever had taken place in that conversation had assured her enough that she had returned with a fire and passion that Sonechka had not seen in many long nights. Missing was home as well, so in the dark nights when the howling chaos was too close to her mind, she could bury herself in the soft scent of feminine skin and forget, for a while.
But, like a mouth-wound one cannot help but keep probing, she could feel the cracks in herself, still. She was sharper, she felt it, knew it when she spoke to potential Cats- she showed her demonic side, her raging side, her hungry side- more readily. It simmered just behind her eyes now, springing to the fore so much faster than she had ever allowed it before.
It was that, or the howling, screaming blackness. Blackness that had a beauty that was as enticing as a spider's web to a fly. It was the release of control, release of self, release of all the expectations and responsibilities and burdens that her shoulders bore day after day and the embrace of living moment to deadly, destructive moment. It was madness, it was emptiness, it was everything she feared and desired most. And, anymore, it hovered just at the edge, just beyond the room of masks she had meticulously built.
Her fingertips splashed the water in the pool and she watched the ripples spread violently over the surface then fade away. Should the day come when she could not face herself in the mirror, when her temper slipped her reins and ran rampant over the face of Azeroth, what then? Would she have Jineah's courage, Missing's fortitude? Would she walk away from them?
Could she give this life up?
She scowled, the beauty of her face transfigured into something menacing and cruel by the expression. The ripples in the pool warped her reflection, made her into a monster. She glared, then burst into soft laughter and stuck her tongue out at herself, making a silly face and splashing the pool again until there were just shards of unrecognizable colors.
The darkness fled for a while as she turned to her bastion of light. Candleflames flickered in the Hall windows, welcoming her in. Smiling, she turned her back on the fountain and sat, watching the Hall and ignoring the insidious draw of the howling black.
For now.