[action] Vandesdelcat in Magnificent Footwear

[faterecanted]

[Van is having a rough time of it today. First he woke up to find that there had been some alterations while he was sleeping. What should be normal human ears have been replaced by cat ears. Big, fuzzy cat ears, which are apparently highly mobile. They're currently spending most of their time pinned back against his skull in displeasure

Comments

[ridiculous action]

[antlioncyclone]

[except for the ogre

cats in snazzy shoes don't like ogres

grr rawr and such things]

[ridiculous action] but is it a shapeshifting ogre? this is important

[faterecanted]

[Is that... thing... going to attack him? Hey, thing. He has a sword and he will totally use it.

He also has a tail.

It is so poofed out right now.]

[ridiculous action] n...o that's mew's job, this one has tornadoes and a spoon or...something

[antlioncyclone]

[(he's not a very good ogre)

I am a superior cat...on my off-days or something 8|

also braintalking?]

Who is it that comes into my home so boldly?

[ridiculous action] cats in snazzy shoes have been known to kill shapeshifting ogres. by eating them

[faterecanted]

I- am merely a humble cat who wishes to do my master's bidding?

[That line is so wooden and confused that if he was acting this stupid story out for a child, they'd demand a do over. And maybe cry. He is not a cat, why is he even saying this?

F'ing Score what is even wrong with him this is the worst day ever.]

[ridiculous action] .....maybe he'll let him eat out of the spoon....? i don't know

[antlioncyclone]

Who is your master? A dinner of human would suit me well!

[wait what am I saying I eat fruit what is going...on]

[ridiculous action] mewtwo spoonfeeding van. i don't even

[faterecanted]

My master is-

[Uh. Well. Actually... he doesn't really know.]

-...ah.

[...]

Missing? No...

[ridiculous action] but no, that is a bit TOO ridiculous

[antlioncyclone]

[Missingno? Sorry dude, I'm mangaverse. Not acquainted with Glitchbutt McWrecksyourgame. Oh well.]

If it is absent, then I suppose I will have to eat you instead.

[wait- augh-]

[ridiculous action] the power of puns compelled me

[faterecanted]

[Van takes a moment to check that he does, indeed, have a sword. And at this point he is honestly just hoping he still knows how to use it because what even.]

But I'm much too small to make a good meal of. [...He is 6'2" and built like a linebacker. Don't worry, this is confusing him too.]

You should let me go instead, and I'll bring a better dinner.

[ridiculous action] ...I was wondering how intentional that was

[antlioncyclone]

[You're confused? Mewtwo doesn't know what fairy tales are.

...not that the content is bothering him, his moral compass barely exists anyways, but all this ham and wait what the hell that human is not small by any definition of the word]

Is that so? You'd better go and get it, then.

...But don't think of trying to slip away. If you do, I'll come after you, and that'll be the end of that!

[ridiculous action] as if it could ever not be

[faterecanted]

I would never! I am a... cat... of my word. I'll return as soon as I'm able.

[Yeah, sorry weird mind-talking... cat thing? He's not coming back. Nuh-uh.]

[ridiculous action] 'twas truly ridiculous

[antlioncyclone]

[THERE IS A FLYING OGRE LOOKING FOR YOU and eventually finding an excuse to be distracted from this nonsense

today is the strangest day]