foamy
Foamy:
Okay this cartoon is going to be dedicated to your fan mail. That’s right! I’ve been getting a lot of fan mail and sometimes I feel the need to respond in kind to some of the nifty comments that I receive.
So let’s start with this one:
Dear Foamy
Your last cartoon was disappointing I think you could do a lot better… “Blah Blah Blah
Signed
Some Shmuck.
Well here’s my response:
Dear Asshole
You can go fuck yourself because I don’t give two shits about what you think. If you got shot in the head today by your own mother I wouldn’t care. I hope you grow up to have many children, and each one of them have their throats slit and have their guts taken out of their own body and smeared down your throat.
How do you like that!
What I find disappointing is your lack of creative sentence-structure within your email; you are a poor example of a human being. Have a nice day, thank you for watching and please come again.
Sincerely yours
Your Lord and Master
Foamy
Next letter!
Dear Foamy
Your cartoons are funny and I like that Goth chick.
Okay, well it’s a short letter and I appreciate it non-the-less.
Dear short letter writer
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate it and I wish nothing bad on you.
Thank you and please come again.
Signed
“Your Lord and Master”
Foamy
Next Letter!.. wooo next letter oh yeah! Okay let’s see what we’ve got here…
Dear Foamy
Your stories are stupid, I don’t like you and how come that Goth chick in your cartoons is never naked?
Well…
Dear Cock-sucker
You are a complete moron for the following reasons:
1.) you have no sense of humour
2.) you want to see a person naked who doesn’t really exist.
It’s just a few frames of animation. Are you out of your mind? Are you completely stupid? Are you living in a complete fantasy land where all you want to see is naked cartoons, are you completely out of your mind!
Signed sincerely
Your Lord and Master
Foamy the Squirrel
Alright lets see… this one better be good I’m getting sick of this.
Dear Foamy[/]
Let’s see, ya, blah blah blah blah… naked naked naked naked naked, why does everyone want to see this girl naked? Throw out burn, burn, burn, burn….
(Foamy scrunches up letter and throws it off screen)
Dear Foamy ahh..
I live in a cave, and I still manage to see your cartoons via the “inter-web” via satellite, through my cell phone delivered by camel.
(shows a man with a turban pointing at a laptop, in a cave)
Cave dweller: This squirrel is so fucking funny!
(goes back to Foamy)
Dear Cave Dweller
I appreciate that you like the cartoons and hope that you find some suitable habitat to live in.
Thank you for your letter
“Your Lord and Master”
Foamy.
Ahhh… alright you know what! I’m done with this shit, you know you people and your fan mail. You know I can’t please everybody man! Alright? Just leave me alone!
(END)
Cave Dweller: Oh praise Allah he’s written back to me!
Copyright: Jonathan Ian Mathers: 2004.
www.illwillpress.com
Ryen you need to shut your fucking fat ass mouth u fucking bitch you do not no me and you think you are cool you are not you are a poser. And I am really scared of your boy friend oohhh I am shacking in my little space boots Not. So you need you shut your fucking mouth you slut and have some balls and leave your name on the comment. And if your bf beats my ass well some people well be coming for him so fuck off fat ass and I am not fat YOU ARE BITCH.