(no subject)

[fateisreplaced]

tonight...i dont even know what to say about tonight..

first i had a blast
then i got into some stupid mood
and started to freak myself out.
matt noticed and thought i was mad at him, hardcore
but i didnt want to tell him what was up..
cause im scared. of falling harder than i have. of hurting him. of getting hurt. of things ending how they did.
and i told him all of this.
and cried and he wipped my tears.
i told him to get a pen
and wrote "ILY" on his wrist
and he smiled.
and i said i think
and he said the same.
and we talked more.
i wrote "save me.protect me" on his other wrist
and he said always.
and..
i dont know.
i dont know.
im scared.

then i told him i didnt want to have sex yet
cause things like that always ruined everything i had.
and i dont want it to.
and he said that its the last thing on his mind.

i dont know.
im scared.
this is happening so fast.
but i can feel it.
everything feels right.

which scares me more.